In startling news, it turns out that the most unwanted, rage-inducing group of people ever to waste perfectly good flesh, bone and blood are releasing an autobiography.

The Ku Klux what? No, we're talking about Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian – what the hell do you think this site is? CivilRightsSpray? Get a hold of yourself.? Anyway, race crime? That's nothing compared to being related to someone only famous for having mucky videos of themselves splashed over the internet.

Given the exhaustive level of detail that the Kardashian lifestyle has been documented in, and, y?know, the crushing pointlessness of their entire existence, surely even combining all three of their life stories together wouldn't produce enough meaningful content for a whole book. I mean, surely they?d have to rope in the mental guy down the road who sleeps out by the bins and tries to catch flies in his mouth or something. There's pictures you say? Oh, that explains it!