Panto season must be upon us, as formerly-relevant perplexing poltroon and peddler of pretend-angst Brian Hugh Warner has once again unveiled his Halloween-night-Lily-Savage alter-ego ‘Marilyn Manson’ in an unsuccessful attempt to outrage/impress anyone who still gives two hoots during a boozy night out in Las Vegas.
The vain attempt to appear partially interesting involved Brian going out on the lash in the Born And Raised bar in suburban Vegas – basically a provincial Yates’s from what we can gather. This was after, we assume, getting turned-away from any ‘real’ bars on the Strip all of whom have a strict “no wankers” policy. Luckily Brian managed to make himself look like the utter weapon he is.
Highlights of the evening, courtesy of the man determined to turn his previously imagined reputation of ‘controversial’ into that of stone-cold-fact ‘tiresome’, include:
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Bill Murray is pretty freaking cool. Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, Zombieland, Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Groundhog Day are all awesome, and mostly because of him. He’s just so much cooler than you’ll ever be.
So what do you do when you meet one of the coolest men on the planet? Invite him into your karaoke booth of course!
‘Haha’, you say? ‘In your classic comedy inspired soggy dreams’ you say? Well, screw you! It happened! To a guy called Mike. We don’t know him, but we heard about him. A friend told us about it.
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Enjoy karaoke? Like mingling with several beautiful people who all look identical? A fan of nun-based musicals?
Then have we got an offer for you! Thanks to Andrew Lloyd Webber deciding that someone from Hollyoaks – we don't know which one, they all look so similar – is to be the new Maria in The Sound Of Music, Hollyoaks has decided to do a Hollyoke competition, where the winner will end up being an extra on Hollyoaks and hanging out with all the famous Hollyoaks stars like Jambo and Bombhead and that boy who got bum-raped on a car.
But to even stand a chance of becoming a Hollyoaks extra you need to upload a video of you performing karaoke to one of a handful of songs. Your video will be judged by the Hollyoaks cast and the winner will end up hanging around on the set of Hollyoaks, unsuccessfully trying to convince themselves that they're even a tenth as attractive as anyone else there, even the hairy-cracked on-set carpenter.
If you want more information on how to enter, then visit the Hollyoaks Hollyoke page. Good luck.
