You read that right. Fox bigshot Peter Rice says many reports about the future of American Idol are accurate.
What does that mean? Well, it means that Jennifer Lopez will probably be a judge this year. And it means that Kara DioGuardi probably won’t be a judge this year. It also means that Steven Tyler from Aerosmith will become a new judge, and that Aerosmith will re-record the show’s theme-tune and – to fit with Tyler’s diction – American Idol will be renamed Ammarricuh IdOWWW!, and that HD will be switched off for the duration of each episode so that Steven Tyler’s bizarre old lady face won’t cause America to burst into unstoppable fits of terror-sobs whenever it appears.
We may have made some of these things up. But, hey, since we’re reporting them, and all American Idol reports are accurate, they must be true. FOR THEY HAVE BEEN PROPHESISED.