This Just In: Miley Cyrus Is A Legitimately Awful Human Let's be serious for a moment - if you were the parent of a child like Miley Cyrus, you'd be appalled. Just think of the implications. If you were the father of a child like Miley Cyrus then you, by definition, would be just like Billy Ray Cyrus. And that doesn't even bear thinking about, does it? You'd have to grow a girl's haircut. And a funny little beard that makes your entire face look like a stripper's vagina. It'd be horrible. Oh, and you'd also be appalled because your child would end up being named as the worst celebrity influence of the year, just like Miley Cyrus has.

Kanye West Cancels Tour, Possibly Because Beyonce’s Tour Is Better If you enjoy paying to see odd men repeatedly bellow about how brilliant they are for two full hours, we have bad news. Kanye West has cancelled his tour. Kanye West and Lady Gaga were due to perform a tour across America this winter. But now, just a few weeks after he broke little Taylor Swift's heart into pieces at the MTV VMAs, Kanye has decided to scrap the whole thing. Yo Kanye, we're really happy for you, we're gonna let you finish but Michael Jackson had one of the best tour cancellations of all time. One of the BEST OF ALL TIME!

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is Bad times... 'The Swizzle’ (put Road House on and remember Patrick Swayze in the worst at his best. “My way... or the highway”) Put this in front of any url (why? Because laughing at Kanye West is fun) Troy Kennedy Martin (died this week and he wrote the screenplay for The Italian Job, so that’s definitely earned him a ...

The VMA Conspiracy Theories Are Coming Rumours about what on Earth really caused the now infamous outburst at this year's MTV Video Music Awards have started to surface. You probably know what actually happened onstage by now. The show's been playing on a loop ever since, alongside witty commentary pointing out that grown men making young girls weepy is a rather rubbish thing to do. Kanye West has had to apologise not once but twice for making himself look like a twit - such a twit that one capital-letter-laden apology on his blog was not quite enough to cover it. Now that both long-winded apologies are over and done with the world can move on to the next controversy. Wait, what's that? We can't?

Kanye West & Taylor Swift Cruelly Refuse To Make It Stop Stuff you, Michael Jackson! The biggest news story of the year isn't your death any more - it's Kanye West and Taylor Swift. Or at least that's what they'd have you believe. Because even though it was basically just one idiot hurting another idiot's feelings for a second, Kanye West and Taylor Swift are steadfastly refusing to shut up about the MTV VMA incident. The latest news is that Kanye West has now personally apologised to Taylor Swift. And if that apology involved anything more than bellowing "BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!!" into a telephone, we're going to be sorely disappointed.

Kanye West To Go Away And Jolly Well Think About What He’s Done Kanye West has already apologised once for hopping onstage at the MTV VMAs and stamping on Taylor Swift's heart. But that's not enough. Because, as we all know, an apology isn't really an apology if it's bellowed across the internet, peppered with several thousand exclamation marks and features the word 'BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!!' or any related forms thereof. Which is why Kanye West apologised again on TV last night. If fact, Kanye West announced that because of his VMA behaviour, he's going to "take some time off and analyse... how I'm going to improve". So that's the last we'll see of him, then.

MTV VMAs: Kanye West Buggers Everything Up, Again Seriously, when will you people learn? It's rule number one when it comes to organising awards shows, but you always ignore it. Never invite Kanye West. That's it. It's a fundamental awards show rule. Invite Kanye West and he'll invariably end up losing an award he assumed he'd win, shrieking indignantly about it for 30 minutes and then pooing in his pants on purpose while refusing to break eye contact with the camera. It always happens. Never invite Kanye West. Just ask Taylor Swift, whose MTV VMA acceptance speech Kanye West obliterated last night because he thought she wasn't very good.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is Naked and bare feet, naked and socks. Folded: Batman: Arkham Asylum (most immersive game since GTA IV. If we did stars we’d give it five) Susan Sarandon for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps ...