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Kanye West is not a talented rapper. Sure, he’s great at getting heard, getting famous and coming up with mad-schemes to stay in the limelight, but he’s rapping… let us just say he’s a slower wordsmith than Turbo B from Snap!
Still, an attention-seeker always gets attention.
And it appears that he’s always been like that, as a video has emerged online of Kanye performing a poem when he was a little biddy 12 year old. Wanna see it?
It’s been such a difficult few weeks for poor Kim Kardashian. First her loving marriage breaks down in a record 72 days and had to deal with everyone and their petit chien saying that the marriage was a sham. Then her clothing line gets slated by lamb loving, angry at seal clubbing, children’s rights groups because they are supposed to be made in Chinese sweat shops.
And now it seems that Kimmy Kardash has been fiddling with someone else’s willy and balls while she was seeing Reggie Bush. It isn’t just any old two bit estate agent (or “realtor” as those crazy Yanks call them) though. Oh no, it’s douche-cock extraordinaire Kanye West isn’t it?
Get those smelling salts out.
Every artist on the planet is a shameless thief. They’re all magpies, walking around and taking whatever they want without a care in the world. And that’s fine, because that’s always been the case and everyone loves music, film or whatever.
However, what no-one likes is a pointless snitch. Someone who yells ‘HEY! I had that idea before that other, more famous person had that very common notion! I think I’ll sue!‘
And the latest rapsnitch is some buffoon called Vincent Rogers who has tried to sue Kanye West over his song, ‘Stronger’.
Kanye West is a man so needy that it actually makes the planet we stand on wince. That said, it is kinda fun to have this celebrity waltzing around with ideas that he’s the next Picasso rather than the standard fodder of self aggrandising rapper from the streets chat.
As such, Kanye is always keen to point out to everyone that he does things a little different. He’s a real curate’s egg of a man.
And he took himself down to by With The People and protestors at the Occupy Wall Street movement in New York City this week. And there, he showcased the classic ‘I’m not doing any interviews, to promote myself’ thing.
Filth. Absolute filth. That’s what today’s celebrities are. You wouldn’t get old, classy celebrities like Marilyn Monroe posing naked for photographs would you? Certainly not. She had self-respect.
However, thanks to the wonderful technological advances of mobile phones and those cameras they’ve got built into them, we are now a planet of people capturing their nether-regions and sending them to other humans.
Celebs are no different… apart from the small fact that people want to hack into their phones and share them with the world. So which leaked celebrity n00dz are the best? Click over the jump where it is astonishingly NSFW.
Argghhh! Panic! The festival industry is dying! Run for the hills (well, the cities)! So, then Big Chill- what are you about? Should we be impressed or not?
You’re run by Festival Republic who really aren’t the leftwing revolutionary group that your name would like us to infer, but your line-up isn’t exactly the warmed up Radio 1 tedium soup of V.
If our weekend was anything to go by, it’s where the kind of punters who used to frequent Glastonbury now like to er.. chill.
Beyonce is pregnant. That’s great isn’t it? Unless you’d hoped that B and Jay Z were going to adopt you in some way. She’s 3 months gone! Wow. Wait. That means she was having sex when when Osama bin Laden got killed or Ratko Mladi? got arrested for genocide and war crimes.
It seems justice, death and open war-graves turn Beyonce on. Crikey.
While everyone koochy coos about this new baby, Kanye West is shouting “FIRST” in the comments, saying that he’s already decided that he’s going to be the godfather of this baby, regardless of what anyone else says.
Do you leave tips in restaurants? If there’s a few of you, you all chuck a quid in each because that seems about right? Well, you’re nothing but a sickening tightwad because, when Jay Z leaves a tip, he really leaves a tip.
We’re not talking about a tip like “condoms make excellent fingerprint disguisers if you’re robbing a chemist” or anything like that.
We’re talking about Jigga going to some place and leaving them with a $50,000. Tell that to Mr Pink from Reservoir Dogs.
