Articles tagged with: Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake Dumps Jessica Biel, Or Doesn’t, Or Something
Good news girls, the man of your dreams is back on the market! That's right - Jessica Biel is single again! Wait, that's not right. We meant to say this: Good news boys, the girl of your dreams is back on the market! That's right - Justin Timberlake is single again! No, wait, hang on. We've confused ourselves. Anyway, our point is this - Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have totally split up. Except they haven't. A magazine claimed that Justin Timberlake had left Jessica Biel for Rihanna, but apparently it was all a lie. And yet you're still reading this. God, you're weird.
Good news girls, the man of your dreams is back on the market! That's right - Jessica Biel is single again! Wait, that's not right. We meant to say this: Good news boys, the girl of your dreams is back on the market! That's right - Justin Timberlake is single again! No, wait, hang on. We've confused ourselves. Anyway, our point is this - Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have totally split up. Except they haven't. A magazine claimed that Justin Timberlake had left Jessica Biel for Rihanna, but apparently it was all a lie. And yet you're still reading this. God, you're weird.
Jessica Biel: ‘Boo Hoo, Being Pretty Is So Difficult’
Could we have a moment's silence for Jessica Biel? The struggle that woman has gone through. Honestly, it beggars belief. What struggle are we talking about? Well, look at her. The poor wretch is beautiful. Do you know the endless misery that comes from having skin as clear and luminous as an angel's teardrop? Can you understand the despair that you have to endure day after day just because both of your eyes point in the same direction? It's a nightmare. A living nightmare. And that's why Jessica Biel deserves our sympathy - she's been describing her horrifying plight to Allure.
Could we have a moment's silence for Jessica Biel? The struggle that woman has gone through. Honestly, it beggars belief. What struggle are we talking about? Well, look at her. The poor wretch is beautiful. Do you know the endless misery that comes from having skin as clear and luminous as an angel's teardrop? Can you understand the despair that you have to endure day after day just because both of your eyes point in the same direction? It's a nightmare. A living nightmare. And that's why Jessica Biel deserves our sympathy - she's been describing her horrifying plight to Allure.
Justin Timberlake Reveals Long-Overdue Relationship Details
Breaking news: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are dating. Oh, wait, we already knew that. The pair have been together for over two years, and in that entire time ol' Timbo would have been more likely to have admitted to regular nose picking than to dating his foxy partner. For the first time since he over-shared about his juvenile love with a pre-headshave Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake has opened up to the media about a girlfriend. On the one hand, we should probably be glad that Justin makes a point, these days, never to speak at length with the media. Have you ever heard him talk?
Breaking news: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are dating. Oh, wait, we already knew that. The pair have been together for over two years, and in that entire time ol' Timbo would have been more likely to have admitted to regular nose picking than to dating his foxy partner. For the first time since he over-shared about his juvenile love with a pre-headshave Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake has opened up to the media about a girlfriend. On the one hand, we should probably be glad that Justin makes a point, these days, never to speak at length with the media. Have you ever heard him talk?
Justin Timberlake Has More Style Than You
Ever watched Justin Timberlake and thought “Wow Justin, you are so goddamn trendy”? No, neither have we, but it looks like the people of GQ magazine have. They’ve decided that he is a snappier dressier than people like Gordon Brown and Dave, our local butcher. Who are they to save that bloodstained overalls ain’t happening threads to be popping?
Ever watched Justin Timberlake and thought “Wow Justin, you are so goddamn trendy”? No, neither have we, but it looks like the people of GQ magazine have. They’ve decided that he is a snappier dressier than people like Gordon Brown and Dave, our local butcher. Who are they to save that bloodstained overalls ain’t happening threads to be popping?
Britney Spears & Justin Timberlake Avoid Each Other Like Mental
Last night, just about the biggest thing in the world happened - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake reunited for Madonna. It. Was. Incredible. In front a crowd of thousands at Madonna's Dodger Stadium concert, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake not only performed onstage together but - after three seconds in each other's company - fell hopelessly in love again, instantly curing Britney of all her mental problems in the process. Or Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake both avoided each other as much as humanly possible backstage, crawled onstage separately for one brief duet with Madonna each and then hightailed out of the stadium the moment they were done so they wouldn't have to spend a second longer in the vicinity of each other than they had to. Still, anything that takes people's minds off Madonna's grotty undercrackers, eh?
Last night, just about the biggest thing in the world happened - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake reunited for Madonna. It. Was. Incredible. In front a crowd of thousands at Madonna's Dodger Stadium concert, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake not only performed onstage together but - after three seconds in each other's company - fell hopelessly in love again, instantly curing Britney of all her mental problems in the process. Or Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake both avoided each other as much as humanly possible backstage, crawled onstage separately for one brief duet with Madonna each and then hightailed out of the stadium the moment they were done so they wouldn't have to spend a second longer in the vicinity of each other than they had to. Still, anything that takes people's minds off Madonna's grotty undercrackers, eh?
Madonna/ Britney/ Timberlake Queasy Threeway – Tonight
If you're a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna's concert in Los Angeles tonight. Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history - don't forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears' mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears. If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one - if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn't just stop at Justin Timberlake - she'd hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we're talking.
If you're a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna's concert in Los Angeles tonight. Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history - don't forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears' mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears. If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one - if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn't just stop at Justin Timberlake - she'd hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we're talking.
Janet Jackson Launches Own Line Of Wardrobe Malfunctioning Lingerie
The name Jackson has shifted meanings quite dramatically over the last few decades. In the seventies you’d know the Jacksons as that annoying bunch of kids whose songs were more infectious then the Ebola virus, while the eighties and early nineties saw Michael Jackson pull away and gain success on his own. Sadly MJ knackered things up towards the end of the nineties with “botched surgery†plaguing the Jackson name. Then at the turn of the millennium, things got worse as the tags “dodgy alleged child molesterâ€, “rubber masked mo' fo'†and “strange reality show contestant†were thrown around.
The name Jackson has shifted meanings quite dramatically over the last few decades. In the seventies you’d know the Jacksons as that annoying bunch of kids whose songs were more infectious then the Ebola virus, while the eighties and early nineties saw Michael Jackson pull away and gain success on his own. Sadly MJ knackered things up towards the end of the nineties with “botched surgery†plaguing the Jackson name. Then at the turn of the millennium, things got worse as the tags “dodgy alleged child molesterâ€, “rubber masked mo' fo'†and “strange reality show contestant†were thrown around.
Britney Spears Captured Singing Worse Than A Drowning Kitten
Now we know that sometimes popstars and reality star bumpkins can be easy targets for mockery, scrutiny and cheap laughs. That can be said for the first 15 episodes of X-Factor as we all wonder why a fat lass from Wigan who sounds like she’s singing through her nostril thinks she can win. Some people, however, get past cocky comments from judges like Simon Cowell and go on to make a decent living, before descending in to the world of Big Issue selling – just give Leona Lewis another 18 months. It was the great old days though, when manufactured singers were poached from the Mickey Mouse Club. Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera have both left the iron fist of Disney to lighten up our lives. But no-one has done this more so than Britney Spears, whose early glittering career really has gone up shit creek without a paddle. Now, leaked video footage from a Las Vegas gig captures Britney’s “live vocal†not sounding too peachy.
Now we know that sometimes popstars and reality star bumpkins can be easy targets for mockery, scrutiny and cheap laughs. That can be said for the first 15 episodes of X-Factor as we all wonder why a fat lass from Wigan who sounds like she’s singing through her nostril thinks she can win. Some people, however, get past cocky comments from judges like Simon Cowell and go on to make a decent living, before descending in to the world of Big Issue selling – just give Leona Lewis another 18 months. It was the great old days though, when manufactured singers were poached from the Mickey Mouse Club. Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera have both left the iron fist of Disney to lighten up our lives. But no-one has done this more so than Britney Spears, whose early glittering career really has gone up shit creek without a paddle. Now, leaked video footage from a Las Vegas gig captures Britney’s “live vocal†not sounding too peachy.
