Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
2017 were dark, dark days, my friends, but 2018 is here now, and it’s starting off right. After more than a decade of releasing mediocre af music, Justin Timberlake is back with some sexual gold.
J. Tim recently released a teaser for his new album “Man of the Woods” and I was like “Ok cool, this looks like it will probably be folksy or whatever”, but then he dropped the first single, “Filthy”, and I was like HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE! Because that shit was like SexyBack 2.0
Many of my friends, including my husband, are Atheist and for years I’ve been agnostic…that is, until today. A few weeks ago Princess of Pop and eternal ethereal icon, Britney Spears, said that ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake is someone she’d be interested in collaborating with.
Well, I can now say with 100% certainty that GOD IS FOR REAL and sweet baby Jesus will gladly bathe us all in his platinum tears and take us to musical heaven because during an interview at the Toronto International Film Festival, Justin said he would into doing a collaboration with Britney! PRAISE THA LOWD!
So, the MTV Video Music Awards are coming up this Sunday, and I have been watching this shit for legit 20 years which makes me feel old af. In celebration of me watching my 20th MTV Video Music Awards ceremony, I decided to spend this weekend looking back on some fond memories of mine.
Today, I’m going to look back at 10 of my favorite outfits from the VMAs over the years. I mean, I say the best outfits of all time, but I obviously mean since like 1995. Yes, I realize the awards have been around since like ’84, but I wasn’t alive then and MTV didn’t exist to me til ’95 so, you know, deal with it.
Taylor Swift might sing about some relatable shit that people love, but in real life there is nothing relatable about Taylor Swift. Everything she does is pretty go big or go home, and that includes her 25th birthday. The above pic is from her birthday party, which included supermodel Karlie Kloss, girl group HAIM, Jay Z, Beyonc?, Justin Timberlake wearing a poop emoji mask, and Sam Smith. Not pictured: everyone from Selena Gomez to Emma Roberts. So yeah, not your typical 25th birthday party.
Taylor Swift and a bunch of people performed at the New York Jingle Ball the other night, then Tay Tay decided to have a few peeps back to her Tribeca apartment for an after party/birthday party an it was probably the best party ever because fuckin’ Jay Z was there! Somewhere out there, Kim Kardashian is ugly crying because Beyonc? and Jay Z couldn’t make it to her wedding, yet they attended Taylor Swift’s 25th birthday party.
You know how Jennifer Aniston has been DEFINITELY PREGNANT like, a million times?? And every time bitch walks around in a bikini to show off her toned tummy as a big ol middle finger to everyone? Well, it’s been a similar situation for Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake, though on a smaller scale.? There have been rumors multiple times that Biel was about to add some curves to her boyish figure, but each time they have proven to be untrue.
This time around, however, there have been a few people who have slipped up by opening their big mouths and basically have confirmed that there is truth to the rumors now.? I believe nothing until Lance Bass or Joey Fatone Instagrams a congratulations in the form of an N’SYNC meme.
Dax Shepard used to be on Punk’d, the show that involved pranking celebrities and was basically the high point of Ashton Kutcher’s career.? There were some celebrities who took it all with great strides, and others who showed how douche they were.? It was great television to see some famous rich girl cry because someone scratched her $80,000 car or some pretentious actor freak out because a homeless guy got into his bubble.
One of those celebrities who obviously lacked a sense of humor, or balls, was Justin Timberlake.? But now Jax has shared a story that makes Timberlake’s crying look like the least ridiculous thing Justin did that day.
Last week, I did a post about 10 female celebs who had robust rumps. I got a lot of great feedback, but a lot of ladies were like “Hey girl, where is a male version of this?!” Well ladies, don’t get your panties in a twist (or do, if that’s your thing!) because the list you’ve been waiting for is here!
These ten men look so fine in their underwear that even other men can’t help but go DAAAAAYYYYUMMMM. So sit back and enjoy these Tom Hunks in their underpants (see what I did there? #puns #bunspuns)
I am someone who fucking hates change. It kills me a little bit and I have a lot of trouble letting go. I (sadly) especially have a lot of trouble when my favourite celebrity couples break-up. It makes me a feel like a child of divorce, which I understand is weird and probably not healthy.
Over the years many celeb couples have captured my heart and even though they’ve split and moved on and seem perfectly fine in their new lives and with their new significant others, part of me just can’t let go of the sexy famous love that once was. Spoiler alert: You know Britney and Justin will be on this list.
For the record, the word “alleged” would not be in the title of this blog post if this was 2004, because in 2004 Lindsay Lohan could 100% bang every major hunk in Hollywood. But it’s not 2004, so the word stays. In Touch magazine (if Us Weekly is Walmart then In Touch is like…Zellers or K Mart) is saying that back in January 30, 2013 Lindsay Lohan downed a bunch of cocktails at the Beverly Hills Hotel with her girlfriends and decided to make a list of all the people she’s banged.
First of all, I’m calling bullshit on this for a lot of reasons. 1) I don’t trust In Touch magazine because not even a Kardashian would sell them a story, 2) the list says she’s only banged 36 people which is nowhere near how many people I personally have seen her make out with (if you publicly make out with someone than you’re sleeping with them, right?), and 3) when you see the people who were on the list you are going to eye roll yourself into oblivion.
?In the world of celebrity marriages, there are landmines everywhere ready to blow up and make the world judge the crap out of your relationship.? Seems Jessica Biel hit a big one recently because she didn’t show up to an after party with husband, Justin Timberlake.? Now obviously this?means they are on the verge of a World War 3 divorce battle because it couldn’t be something as simple as Biel had a particularly?shitastic visit from Aunt Flo or anything.
Of course, there is always the possibility that it was Biel’s weekend to spend?quality under the sheets time?with her “close” girl friend.
