Are you an eight-year-old girl who enjoys making a noise like a burning orphanage whenever you’re excited?
You are? Oh boy, this is your lucky day. Justin Bieber – the 16-year-old pop sensation who either looks like a Bratz Zac Efron or the sort of grinning, big-eyed shell that the machines will house their killer robots in when it comes time to exterminate the humans, depending on how charitable you’re feeling – is going on tour! Exciting! Justin Bieber EXCITING!
It’s Justin Bieber’s first headline tour. We haven’t got a setlist yet, but we hope that Justin Bieber uses the tour to sing all of his songs about things that young people enjoy – like the song about Twittering, the song about Xbox Live, the song about taking pictures of yourself and posting them on Facebook and the song about going down the woods and finding a carrier bag full of porn.
