Justin Bieber - HecklerSpray

Shawn Mendes States the Obvious: He Dated Hailey Baldwin

December 2nd, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I am literally SHOCKED that Hailey Baldwin…I mean, Bieber…is still alive. After bouncing from the dick of Shawn Mendes to get wifed up by Justin Bieber, I assumed every tween and twink in the world was making Hailey voodoo dolls and sticking pins in her eyes and chest, but, alas, she lives.

For a really long time, Hailey and Shawn Mendes denied that they were ever actually dating, and insisted they were just best buds. However, in his new Rolling Stone interview, Shawn confirms what we all already knew: he was clearly fucking Hailey Baldwin.

HecklerSpray Advent, Day 1: Quickie Marriages That Actually Happened

December 1st, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A Bieber who got married! That’s right, bitches! I may have been slack on my blogging these past few months, but the HecklerSpray countdown to Christmas advent is BACK! And we are ringing it in by celebrating some of the quickie engagements this year that turned into quickie marriages.

While Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson might not have made it down the aisle, Justin Bieber and Nick Jonas did! In fact, Nick Jonas got married TODAY!

Selena Gomez Is A Real Good Luck Chuck

November 7th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Before I even get started, I’d like to point out for those of you who don’t know that Good Luck Chuck is a shitty Dane Cook movie from like 15 years ago about a guy named Chuck, and every time a girl breaks up with him she ends up marrying the next guy she dates. Just to clarify where this is going…

As most of you know, about 13 seconds after breaking up with Selena Gomez for the millionth time, Justin Bieber got engaged to his ex-girlfriend, Hailey Baldwin (and now they’re apparently married?), and it seems like Selena’s ex, The Weeknd, might’ve followed in Bieber’s footsteps.

Is Justin Bieber Already Married?

September 18th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Listen, before you even ask, no. I am not going to make a post about the Emmys. I don’t watch Game of Thrones, I don’t watch that Marvelous Miss whatever show, so I honestly just don’t give a single fuck (other than the fact John Mulaney won an award. That was cool). Today, I’m only going to blog about Justin Bieber, so deal with it, k?

I don’t know what the fuck is going on with Biebs, but he might have gotten married at a courthouse on Thursday, which is really adding to my theory that him and Hailey Baldwin only got engaged because she’s knocked up.

Jesus Take the Wheel: Justin Bieber is Engaged!

July 8th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I go out of town for two seconds, and everything goes insane! Apparently this is the summer of young celebrity couples getting engaged after 30 seconds of dating. First Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande, now Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin.

No, you’re not having a mild stroke, you read that correctly: Justin Bieber, an attractive young man who desperately wants to look like one of my greasy old uncles and is ALWAYS wearing my grandma’s slippers lately, has allegedly gotten engaged to Hailey Baldwin, the human equivalent of canned spaghetti (I mean, it’s fine, but it’s not great. Nothing special, v v underwhelming if you want actual spaghetti).

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin Maybe a Thing Again

June 12th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Last time we checked in with B-list model of an F-list celebrity, Hailey Baldwin, she was probably fucking Canadian pop singer Shawn Mendes. Fast forward a couple of weeks and she might be back to fucking Canadian pop singer Justin Bieber.

Home girl clearly has a type. And that type is the exact same as my friend Josh. If Hailey fucks with either Nick Jonas or Lucky Blue Smith anytime soon, I’m pretty sure Josh will legit die of jealousy. But ANYWAY.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are Maybe Broken Up Again

March 11th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I keep saying that I just can’t with these two, yet I keep right on blogging about them. The never ending stupid saga of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez continues as multiple sources are reporting that the forever on/off couple is currently taking a little break. Mmhmmm, ok.

Even though they were full on up each other’s asses just a few weeks ago at Biebs’ dad’s wedding in Hawaii, apparently the strain their romance has put on Selena’s relationship with her mom made them decide to cool off for a little bit. They even left church separately on Thursday, which has apparently got the people at Us Weekly SHOOK.

Selena Gomez Bails on Mom for Biebs

December 21st, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Selena Gomez can go ahead and assume that she will not be receiving a World’s Best Daughter mug this Christmas, because her mom, Mandy Teefey, is DONE with her Justin Bieber bullshit.

Reports have been surfacing for a few days now that Mandy had to go to the hospital last weekend because of a super stressful fight she had with Selena over her dumbass decision to get back with Biebs, and now Selena and her mom have unfollowed each other on Instagram.

Yep of the Week: The Weeknd and Bella Hadid Are Hanging Out

November 16th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

File this under: I fucking told you so. As soon as The Weeknd dropped “Die For You” as a single I was like “Shit, guess he’s going back after Bella Hadid.” Then when Selena Gomez became friends with Justin Bieber again I was like “Shit, guess The Weeknd’s gonna go back after Bella Hadid.”

Then The Weeknd and Selena broke up and she was just spotted kissing Bieber and he was just spotted leaving Bella’s apartment so guess who was right about everything? Me. That’s who.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez 100% Back Together

November 3rd, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Well color me shocked. And by shocked I mean not shocked, because I think we all saw this coming the second we found out that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were hanging out again “as friends.” Selena Gomez and The Weeknd have been broken up for abut 30 seconds, and she’s already back to riding on that white, Canadian dick.

In the LITERALLY LIKE FOUR DAYS since her break-up with with The Weeknd, Gomez has been spotted cozying up to Bieber, like, everywhere, and honestly I don’t even give a shit about these two anymore.