Dark Knight Rises or Batman 3. What are you calling it? Well, judging by the newly released trailer, you could justifiably call it Occupy Gotham. It is fair to say that Bruce Wayne is part of the 1%.

Wisely, Christopher Nolan & Co have decided to tap into the most polite civil unrest yet and, mercifully, thrown some supervillains at it because we demand explosions and people getting punched in the throat.

And, regrettably for us snarks, the film looks like it might be really great. There’s a chance we’ll still give it a bad review though, just to be contrarians.

As you know, joining the action this time round is Anne Hathaway as the becatsuited Selina Kyle (or Catwoman if you can’t work out an insultingly obvious clue). She purrs into Batman’s ear:

“You think this is going to last. There’s a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you’re all going to wonder how you ever thought how you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.”

If only the 99% were more prone to being leggy and attractive in skin-tight outfits. Practical, no… glamorous, yes.

Of course, Heath Ledger’s Joker will take some beating, so Thomas Hardy will be gruffing it up as Bane. And as big gestures go, Bane’s looks-awfully-like-a-terrorist-attack during a football game should sicken a few American stomachs. Oh, and you’ll be supporting the Gotham Rogues, just in case you didn’t know.

For hipsters, the trailer also show a little Joseph Gordon-Levitt, which is nice.

And so, we’ve all got to wait ’til July to see if it’s going to be any good. Until then, we’ll speculate how Bale’s Batman is written out of this particular franchise and foist stupid Who Can Replace Christian Bale As Batman? lists upon you ’til we find something worthy to write.

Here’s the trailer, poo-breath.

Catwoman has always been the sexiest of all the superhero/supervillain clan. We say that because all the women who played her in the ’60s were really hot. Not so much Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry. They were snooze-buttons in comparison.

Of course, Catwoman oozed such sex appeal that even Batman fancied her, despite the fact she kept him busy by being a nasty git.

And so, when it was announced that Anne Hathaway was chosen to play her in the forthcoming The Dark Knight Rises, everyone kinda shrugged because she seems too wholesome. Can she pull off that whole S&M thing that Catwoman has? According to the leaked picture of her in her villainous guise (below), it seems not.

The photo shows Hathaway in costume, seemingly razzing around on Batman’s motorbike (which is nice).

Sadly, judging from one measly picture, granted, this particular Catwoman just looks like Hathaway in a jumpsuit with some skiing goggles on.

And that’s it. At least Pfeiffer’s suit had a load of weird stitching on it to make her look a bit more depraved.

Speaking to MTV, Hathaway says:

“I was not going to admit it: I asked someone to send me a few reactions [to the photo]… [the general response] was ‘meh.’ “

She continued:

“What I am happy to say is, if you didn’t like the photo, you only see about a 10th of what that suit can do. And if you did like the photo, you have excellent taste.”

The suit has more to give? Will it transform Hathaway into a sweet looking girl into a vampish sexpot? Or does it have a seat that fires missiles out of it?

Please be the latter.

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Now that everyone likes Batman again, after years of thinking he was pretty lame, we as writers must cover every tawdry titbit concerning the imminent film, The Dark Knight Rises. If its anything like the last two, it’ll probably be good, which is irritating for people like us who want to slate stuff.

It’s not all fun on the shoot though, as Anne Hathaway is finding out. Mere days after nearly sparking a stuntman out with butt of a gun, she’s had a different kind of butt-based incident.

Basically, the poor lass showed a little more of her nether regions to the crew as she split open her figure hugging Catwoman suit.

That’s right pervs – Hathaway flashed her undercarriage while going nutso during a take, which is a stirring image.

Of course, Anne takes on the role previously owned by Julie Newmar and sullied by Michelle Pfeiffer, leaving her in a situation where she almost certainly won’t be the worst Catwoman to grace a screen. Halle Berry takes that dubious plaudit.

However, you want to know about arse.

A source says:

“Anne was filming a very similar fight scene when her costume split right open right on her bottom.

“She’s putting everything into this role both physically and emotionally and the wardrobe department is paying the price. She must have gone through a dozen costume changes due to Anne throwing herself around.”

You’ll have to wait ’til The Dark Knight Rises is released on July 20, 2012, to see if her posterior makes the cut.

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People have been arguing about who was the best Catwoman. Most of them have been wildly wrong. See, Batman’s love interest cum nemesis is supposed to ooze sex. Catwoman isn’t just a pretty face – she’s a huge prick tease as well.

Looking at those who have played the famous feline villain, it is a surprisingly sexless bunch.

And Anne Hathaway, who will play Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s third Batman film, is the latest to completely lack in sophisticated skankery.

Think about it. Catwoman is pure sex. She’s a whip-cracking, S&M suited siren, ready to give you a raging hard-on before disappearing into the night to act out some dastardly deed while you’re still wobbling around trying to hide your erection with a Bat-Cushion.

Yet, for some time now, no-one has successfully cast a Catwoman who has the innate primal sexiness that the character requires.

Way back when, on the ’60s Batman TV show, the producers were bang on the money. Julie Newmar (the best Catwoman ever), Lee Meriwether and Eartha Kitt all looked like they were dirty and kinky. Perfect Catwoman material. You could totally buy into the notion that Batman wouldn’t be able to control himself around them.

Then, years later, we got a spate of women who were just… meh.

Michelle Pfeiffer brought her back in ’92, and like all modern Catwomen, was attractive enough but, really, not exactly oozing the filth that the original actors had. Pfeiffer is about as sexual magnetic as a shop window dummy. Then, we went even further away from primal urges with Halle Berry. Again, an attractive woman, but lacking in the trashy sleaze that Catwoman is supposed to have. In fact, Halle Berry looks like something of a goodie-two-shoes and therefore, wildly wrong for the role.

And now we get the similarly sexless Anne Hathaway to come and (probably fail) in the vamp stakes. There’s a whole host of actresses out there who have that classy-hussy thing going on and, alas, Anne Hathaway isn’t one of them.

Starring alongside her will be the impossibly boned Tom Hardy who will play Bane in The Dark Knight Rises and, of course, the gravel voiced Christian Bale returns as Bruce Wayne. We’ll get to see it all unfurl on 20th July 2012.

We can only hope to be proven wrong and Hathaway shows us a side to her character that we haven’t seen before. She should start by watching this clip…

…okay. That was purely for our benefit.

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The Dark Knight hype-tizzy is over, right? After the deaths and the arrests and the plaudits, that’s the end now, right?

Michael Caine hasn’t smacked a gypsy on the head with a shovel? Morgan Freeman hasn’t accidentally fallen down a lift shaft? Good, then that really is the end of interminable Dark Knight hype. So let’s start hyping up Batman 3 instead, then.

Although nobody knows for sure who the Batman 3 villain will be, Catwoman is emerging as a fan favourite, for some completely unknown reason. And Angelina Jolie seems to be the frontrunner to play her. That’s not just berserk internet lust talking – definitive 1960s Catwoman Julie Newmar seems to think she’d be a good fit, too. Still, if that falls through there’s always Kerry Katona. Or death. Let’s go with death.

With The Dark Knight storming past all kinds of box office records at the moment, it’s become clear that topping it will be an insanely difficult job for Christopher Nolan. Surely the only way to make Batman 3 longer or more depressing than The Dark Knight would be to make it about a leukemia patient choking on his own vomit in slow motion for six solid hours.

So perhaps Christopher Nolan should try a different tack for the follow-up. Maybe he could make Batman 3 happier, by having The Joker return as an actual joker who dances round giving balloon animals to children and making everyone jolly. And there’s always the Bat-Nipples. Never forget the Bat-Nipples.

Of course, Christopher Nolan’s easiest escape route would be to shove Catwoman into Batman 3 and hope that there are enough creepy men around to go and see it for no other reason than because they’re perverts. After all, if people have been going crazy because The Dark Knight has giant IMAX footage of a bank robbery, imagine how crazy they’ll go if Batman 3 has giant IMAX footage of Catwoman’s vulva outlined through a rubber catsuit.

Yes yes, we know that there are reports suggesting that Catwoman won’t be in Batman 3, but we’re not so sure. Especially now that Angelina Jolie is reportedly interested in the role.

Julie Newmar – the greatest Catwoman ever according to everyone who isn’t an idiot – has come forward as saying that Angelina Jolie would be the best choice to play Catwoman in Batman 3, and she’s even gone as far as to suggest that Angelina is already lobbying for the part. According to the New York Daily News:

“Angelina would own the part. My industry friends tell me [she] has made inquiries about the role… I can understand how it would pique her interest. Catwoman is Batman’s one true love. She’s tremendously popular with women because she’s both a heroine and a villainess.”

That’s great. True, all we’ve got to go on is the blithely-spoken word of a 74-year-old who hasn’t been Catwoman for 40 years, but a little thing like that won’t stop us getting excited. Especially since Christopher Nolan’s fondness for real-life explanations for the Batman world would mean that Angelina Jolie would probably have to play a Catwoman with some kind of serious psychological condition. Mental illness is sexy!

However, we’re only prepared to accept Angelina Jolie as Catwoman in Batman 3 so long as our new hero, French police spokeswoman Olivia Poupot, can also be cast as Commissioner Gordon‘s brilliantly dismissive European sidekick. She’s already fairly incredible at being bored by Angelina Jolie, you see.