Articles tagged with: Julia Roberts
hecklerspray probably has 10 nightmares a night. The most recent one included us stuck in a jail that was entirely made of fish. It was terrifying until the jailer brought us tartar sauce - then it was scrumptious.
The second most recent night terror we had included Julia Roberts riding a Harley straight out of hell. It looked almost identical to those three Meatloaf album covers actually, except in Roberts' one fist she was clenching the spinal columns of what appeared to be 200 babies, and in the other she was leafing through the script for Pretty Woman II: The Moral Dilemma Of A Hooker In Love. Oh, and she was wearing the cutest pink skirt. Other than that the imagery all looked exactly like Meatloaf's albums.
A few Paparazzi recently got closer to our nightmares than we would ever hope to be. Morgan Freeman jumped on their car and started hosing them with a Super Soaker full of that black stuff from a smoker's lung. Wait - no that was our third to last dream. It's always celebrity something or other. What happened to those camera flashers was a fraction less disease-encrusted but equally scary.
They got chased down by an angry arm-waving horn-honking Julia Roberts.
That wouldn't happen now, though - nobody in their right mind would want to see the scrawny adopting lady and the middle-aged woman with the horse's mouth do anything even vaguely erotic - but it isn't stopping Julia Roberts from getting all bitchy about Angelina Jolie. According to reports, Julia Roberts hates Angelina Jolie and says she could have easily done a better job at A Mighty Heart than Angelina - something that we'd be inclined to agree with. After all, Angelina Jolie really didn't explore the goofy, fun-loving, spontaneously-laughing-out-loud side of Marianne Pearl when she went on the harrowing journey through Pakistan to track down her dead husband as well as we'd have liked.
