The world may not care that much about Britney Spears as a singer any more, but so long as she's got ovaries constantly on the brink of inflating up another redneck infant and expelling it from her body, she'll never be without attention.

For example, the entire planet is currently frothing around like billyo over speculation that Britney Spears is pregnant with yet another child. But, as we all know, Britney Spears has emphatically refuted these claims as "B.S." So now the magazine that broke the Pregnant Britney Spears story in the first place has gone public with the text messages it claims are from the alleged father, admitting that the pregnancy is real. So what's the truth? Either Britney Spears is pregnant, Britney Spears isn't pregnant or there's a murky, alley-dwelling unlicensed abortionist knocking around somewhere who's sitting on an effing goldmine.

Rumours are great, whether they're false - like the one blowing around yesterday about Britney Spears being pregnant; or true - like the one about all hecklerspray writers being so talented and good looking that it makes all the girls cry.

But anyway, back to the false rumours. Yesterday everyone suddenly got very excited over claims made by a raft of American tabloid magazines that Britney Spears was four weeks pregnant and it was true and she'd emailed ultrasound scans to everyone and some bloke nobody's ever heard of was the father. However, even though it's an unmitigated fact that having yet another screaming redneck child would single-handedly solve all of her current problems, Britney Spears has blasted the reports as "B.S". And, as we all know, "B.S" either stands for "Bloody Sertain" or "Baby! Shaboom!" so it's definitely a fact that Britney Spears is definitely 100% pregnant. Congratulations, Britney!