Posts tagged as:

Jordan

Alex Reid Marries Jordan, Because He Loves Her Very Much

by hecklerspray staff

Put away that morning suit and store away your hat. Your invitation to Jordan’s wedding to Alex Reid is never going to arrive, because they’ve gone and got married in private in Las Vegas. Well, if ‘in private’ means having your airbrushed wedding photo smeared all over the front of Hello! The publicity shy duo [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Jordan Is A Drunk Whore (Apparently)

by hecklerspray staff

Those weren’t the exact words used by feminist author Fay Weldon, because Weldon is a well respected writer who has probably forgotten more words than I know. But at the recent Richmond Book Now festival she did say that the glamour model “drinks too much and sleeps with two many people and talks about it [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

The good and not so good. Folded: The Road (not out in the UK until next year, but here is an early review because we can) Also coming next year: a game with hats (about time) Busting X Factor (vote for Jedward. They’ll win and the whole show will implode) Speeding (you might be able [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

WEBTHUMP! 21 October 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Here’s a lovely man from a pub – WatchWithMothers 9 – Jordan & Peter Andre: They’re still at it, you know – AmyGrindhouse 8 – Goodness. Our pals Interestment were on the telly this week. Look – BBC 7 – The Lovely Bones: good if you like to see Mark Wahlberg wearing clothes [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Peter Andre Doesn’t Want Transvestites Near His Kids, So Back Off

by Matthew Laidlow

It’s perfectly clear that Peter Andre likes humans with genitals that are the opposite of his. Take his famous pop song Mysterious Girl. We’ve been able to deceiver that this song is about women. In the song he wants to “get close” to this Mysterious Girl, but why? Did she smell nice? Or had she [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Nobody Wants To Stock Jordan’s Millionth Autobiography

by Matthew Laidlow

Such is the world we live in today that when you quiz a group of children about Jordan, they won’t know any facts about the country. Instead, they’ll spout endless facts about Jordan the model with pinpoint accuracy; which might have something to do with the fact that she won’t stop banging on about herself. [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Kerry Katona Needs Help, Says Perfect Role Model Jordan

by Matthew Laidlow

Whenever we’re feeling down, there is only one place to turn. Tabloid problem pages. After a quick read, that frown is turned into a burst of giggles. “I like to dress as Dennis the Menace during sex – is this normal?” writes a loser from Swansea. No you tit, it’s not. Recently, the celebrity equivalent [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Tabloid Watch: Jordan & Peter Andre

by hecklerspray staff

The overall impression I got from reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was that he was taking drugs and reporting back so that you didn’t have to. Well this week’s been the same for me, but instead of the mind-expanding world that concerned Thompson, I am committed to the mind-reducing ignorance of the tabloids. [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Peter Andre Blubs All Over The Gogglebox

by Ian Dransfield

Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray – we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we’re now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he’s all about his [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

TV Review: Katie Price Meets Piers Morgan

by Nik Johnson

To the despair of Google Image users everywhere, there are several Jordans in the world: The basketball player, the Asian country and the brand of Nike Airs to name just three. However, potential masturbators will be most familiar with the variable-titted cock-holster better known as Katie Price. As promised on Twitter, Katie has been keeping [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →