Sex (or tossing off) addict David Duchovny may get sacked as the new face of Johnston and Murphy clothing. Presumably because he can’t keep any of the firm’s pants on long enough to sell them.

If you’re British you probably won’t have heard of Johnston and Murphy, they’re a 150-year-old American retailer who flog pale jeans and diamond jumpers to old men and lots of taupe to old women. Over the pond they call it apparel; over here we call it M&S.