HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Foo Fighters Get Their Knickers In A Twist Over John McCain

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

We’d be honoured to have John McCain use any of of our songs – like Look At My Stubby Little Arms or Eghhh (EGHHH) – in his election campaign.

But sadly John McCain isn’t having any of it. Instead, he’d rather use My Hero by Foo Fighters which – while probably a better election song that Eghhh (EGHHH) because it doesn’t have a seven-minute death-jazz intermission played on a contraceptive diaphragm – has annoyed Foo Fighters no end.

John McCain’s use of My Hero has enraged Foo Fighters so much that they’ve launched a furious rock n roll riposte – they’ve written a really bloody strongly worded letter about it. In fact, Foo Fighters have really laid the law down – if John McCain plays My Hero one more time, they’re going to call the flipping council about it or something. Just you watch them!

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Madonna: John McCain Be Murderous Trouble – See, Check The Video I Made

March 24th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Madonna may not be savvy when it comes to making albums, movies or a 100% kernel sweeping bite down any given piece of corn on the cob, but when it comes to political opinion she is a shining beacon shooting her vibrant rays through the midst of a turbulent sea.

Yes, America needs her, which is ironic since she hasn’t been American since she made that one video and got chased out of the country by a mob of very angry evangelicals. Now she’s British or something, and lives in a land where she is free to practise her religious views of making love to sacred statues.

She’s like a pilgrim that way.

You see, stateside the people are on the brink of a vital decision. Without Madonna’s intervention the masses may go to the ballot-box and blindly check that accursed Republican box. That’s the same ticket Hitler ran on, if her recent concert footage is accurate.

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Barack Obama is a Hybrid of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, Apparently

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Barack Obama Spears Hilton, as he now likes to be knownThe race for US presidency isn’t something we’re likely to cover very much on these pages – it’s too divisive even for us. Plus we’re British-based, so we’re legally not allowed an opinion.

Non-partisan as hecklerspray may be though (you vote for who you actually want to vote for), we can’t help but feel something of an affinity with Barack Obama after his presidential rival John McCain compared the Democrat to both Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

That’s the kind of politician we could get on board with!

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Stevie Wonder Loves Barack Obama

March 24th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Stevie Wonder has backed Barack ObamaGot a spare £20? Then go and bet on John McCain becoming the next president of America when voting season rolls round on November 4.

After God knows how many months, the Democrat party has been finally chosen Barack Obama over Bill Clinton’s wife as their candidate. And Obama has received some support from celebrity land.

Now, in the 2004 American election, when the world witnessed George W Bush and John F Kerry wrestle for the chance to sit in a big, white house, we all saw celebrities show their support.

The majority of film, sports, music and TV stars said George W Bush was a silly head and shouldn’t get your vote. We all know how much of a success that was when the American public stupidly voted Calamity George back into power.

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US Election Betting Odds: Scandal Edition – Shop Lifting

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Now that Eurovision has come and gone and depressed all British people, it’s time to look for something else to bet on. Sadly, nothing’s quite as important as Eurovision, so we’ve settled on the next best thing.

That’s right, the US presidential elections. But we’re not going to bother ourselves with any of this ‘Who’ll win?’ malarkey – instead we’re focusing on what the next scandal to hit the candidates will be. None are likely to be as funny as Barack Obama‘s kooky reverend, but if they happen and get confirmed by either Bloomberg, CNN or Fox, you’ll win. Profiting from other people’s misery – what could possibly be sweeter?

Here are the US election betting odds for a shop lifting scandal, with help from Paddy Power…

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John McCain Pleased About Sick Props Fom Nondescript Reality Star Type

April 3rd, 2008 By hecklerspray staff

John McCain Heidi Montag The HillsIf you’re US presidential candidate John McCain, you probably spend a lot of time strategising your next campaign move. 

You’re also likely to spend even more time strategising your next move in general like, you know, getting up out of a chair and such. The remainder of your time is probably spent watching MTV and keeping up with the latest juice on trashy reality shows like The Hills.  Well, at least that’s what John McCain says he does, sort of. He may just have said something to that effect because one of the characters on The Hills announced her support for John McCain.

And he likes it. He like it good. 

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