Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
World Cup excitement has reached fever pitch. Fever pitch. That was a joke; see how easily they come to us? Fantastic?
We've all watched a lot of football recently. We've all watched a lot of football adverts recently as well. Here are the four worst World Cup ads, the four that make us wish we were North Korean goalkeepers about to die in mysterious circumstances?
Sooner or later the Strictly Come Dancing contestants are going to have to learn that anyone who throws an on-camera strop will get voted out – just like Dominic Littlewood and, on Saturday’s show, John Barnes.
John Barnes: brilliant when he’s asked to do a Strictly Come Dancing latin dance, but useless if he’s asked to do a Strictly Come Dancing ballroom dance. Everyone knows that. But that theory took a beating on Saturday, when John’s Samba to Sir Juke was all flabby and out of shape. Sure, he wiggled his hips around like he was trying to loosen up a colon-impacted turd, but nothing more. And as well as the technique being a bit out, John Barnes also made the routine look roughly as fun as regrouting a mid-sized bathroom. And then threw a wobbly when he got crap scores. No wonder he got eliminated.
But who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing if John Barnes isn’t? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, Letitia Dean and Kelly Brook, with help from Paddy Power…
It’s a weird thought, that Strictly Come Dancing will happen tomorrow without Kate Garraway plonking around like a woman without any knees – it’s almost like the Strictly Come Dancing judges are winning.
We can’t let this happen. It’s a little-known fact that when a bad dancer is voted off Strictly Come Dancing, a fairy dies. And is that what you want? Is it? Dead fairies all over the place? No, of course not. That’s why it’s imperative that you keep Kenny Logan in Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow. Yes, the judges will all go bright purple if he isn’t voted out and, yes, he’s very obviously useless at dancing. But Kenny Logan represents the underdog in all of us, and to vote him out would be to succumb to the bullies, to the bosses, to everyone who’s ever held you back in life. Plus he dances like an idiot and it’s funny.
Who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing this year? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Gethin Jones, John Barnes, Alesha Dixon and Matt Di Angelo, with betting odds from Paddy Power…
This season of Strictly Come Dancing is turning up all kinds of surprises, as Saturday’s shock elimination of Penny Lancaster proved only too well.
So far that’s two potential winners gone in Penny Lancaster and Gabby Logan, while Kate Garraway and Kenny Logan – a spam-footed embarrassment and a graceless thumping monster – are still in the running. Despite what the Strictly Come Dancing judges say, this is absolutely the right way to go. With anything luck, if this keeps happening, Kate Garraway will be crowned as the Strictly Come Dancing champion by Christmas. And that means a) anyone who took advantage of Kate Garraway’s long betting odds will be richer than they could ever imagine and b) Bruno Tonioli‘s face will explode.
Who’s going to win Strictly Come Dancing? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kenny Logan, John Barnes, Kelly Brook and Alesha Dixon, with help from Paddy Power…
On Saturday tiny wee slaphead Dominic Littlewood was the latest semi-celebrity to get voted off Strictly Come Dancing, which seemed to come as a surprised to nobody except Dominic Littlewood himself.
Dominic Littlewood's stock in trade – apart from his ability to haggle three pence off the price of a new car on daytime TV – is his cheekiness. However, that went on Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing because he was dancing a Paso Doble to El Gato Montez, which apparently called for lots of marching around like a midget Hitler out of time to the music while dressed as a gay Libertine. But, as you may have expected, the most convincing part of Dominic Littlewood's performance came when he had an embittered tantrum about how nobody likes him afterwards. Even Bruce Forsyth started slating Dominic at one point, and his tolerance for awfulness is so high that he counts Jimmy Tarbuck as a friend.
Who's going to win Strictly Come Dancing? Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Kelly Brook, John Barnes, Letitia Dean, Gethin Jones and Kenny Logan, with help from Paddy Power…
