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John And Edward

X Factor Recap: You Killed Jedward, You Monsters

by Stuart Heritage on November 23, 2009 8 Comments

091121_p_jedward2Notice how the sun’s not shining quite as brightly today? Notice how everyone looks considerably more miserable today?

It’s because Jedward were kicked off X Factor last night. And Lloyd wasn’t. Honestly, people are stupid. Anyway, last night’s X Factor was George Michael night and, by and large, it was a gigantic disappointment. We were looking forward to seeing Olly doze off behind the wheel of a Range Rover and Danyl masturbate furiously inside a public lavatory. Didn’t happen. Heartbroken.

Still, at least the X Factor recap is here to cheer us up…

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X Factor Recap: People Finally Realise How Rubbish Jamie Archer Is

by Stuart Heritage on November 16, 2009 20 Comments

Jamie ArcherLast night Jamie Archer was kicked out of X Factor, and our weekends just aren’t going to be the same ever again.

Admittedly that’s because there’s now going to be a space of two minutes during our weekends where we won’t hunt our living room for some knitting needles to jam into our ears, but still. Jamie Archer left X Factor on Queen Night which, if you didn’t know, also doubles as Deliberately Make Freddie Mercury Try To Curse Brian May From Beyond The Grave Night.

But, hey, let’s give you that X Factor recap you’ve been gasping for, eh?

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