Paris Hilton had been best friends with Nicole Richie since the age of two – and yet did not attend the wedding of she and Joel Madden. Was Paris dying, finally, of some horrid communicable disease?
Was she otherwise busy finding the cure for her inevitable bevy of STDs? Was she washing her hair? Was she heck!
The wedding of Nicole was attended by celebrities lower on the food chain than former-best friend, Paris. There was friend, and companion on her bachelorrette party, Samantha Ronson, and Gwen Stefani, and Khloe Kardashian-Odom. Read More >>>
Celebrity bulimia-fancier and professional good-for-nothing has recently taken the completely understandable step of banning her father, Lionel from playing at her wedding. hecklerspray understands that her fiancé Joel Madden would have enjoyed booking the ‘Hello’ singer to give them a couple of numbers at the wedding.
Unfortunately for Mr Madden (lead singer of the inexplicably successful Good Charlotte), Ms Richie has claimed that she’s “not down with that”.
Of course, her not being “down with that” is no reason why Madden shouldn’t ask his father-in-law-to-be to come along and play a few songs. After all, it’s his wedding day and we very much doubt he wants to get up on stage and belt out some watered-down versions of ‘Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous’ and a myriad collection of Good Charlotte’s other hits*. Read More >>>
Nothing makes us happier than a happy couple – especially a happy couple who we forgot existed for a few years.
Congratulations Nicole and Joel! According to reports, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have decided to get engaged. You know what this means – it means that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are now the Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz of couples made of pointless female celebrities and members of awful bands who give their children ridiculous names!
Oh, hang on, no. Ashlee Simpson and Peter Wentz are still the Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz of couples made of pointless female celebrities and members of awful bands who give their children ridiculous names, aren’t they? Our mistake. Nicole Richie and Joel Madden probably deserve to come second, though. Or third. Or fifth.
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Admit it – when Nicole Richie called her last baby Harlow, you were worried. Harlow’s a good crappy name, but not a great crappy name.
But, Nicole Richie, welcome back to the table. You were on the ropes for a while – because calling a baby Harlow is almost like calling it Emma or another dirty civilian name. But, God bless you Nicole Richie, you weren’t deterred by your failure. Instead you got pregnant again and promised to give your next baby the stupidest name possible.
Ladies and gentlemen, may we introduce you to Sparrow James Midnight Madden. For crying out loud.
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Are you a fan of Nicole Richie and a fan of the band Good Charlotte? Then have we got some news for you!
You like bad music and you’re an idiot. There. Oh, and also Nicole Richie’s pregnant again. We probably should have done that bit of news first, in retrospect.
But anyway, Nicole Ritchie has announced that she’s pregnant with her second baby by Joel Madden. We don’t know if this pregnancy was planned or accidental, but rumour has it that pregnancy is the only way that Joel Madden can stop Nicole Richie from disappearing when she turns sideways.
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Good Charlotte were an awful band, right? We weren't just imagining that, were we?
Because for a gang of pointless sub Blink 182 pop-punk gormloids, Good Charlotte members have managed to score themselves some fairly high profile girlfriends. Joel Madden from the band famously got Nicole Richie pregnant, and now his brother Benji has wound up dating Paris Hilton.
We know. We're just two small marriages away from Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie becoming related. And we're fairly sure that'll bring about the end of the world in Ghostbusters Gatekeeper/ Keymaster scenario. Nicole being Rick Moranis, obviously.
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While a lot of fuss has been made about Christina Aguilera's baby, let's not forget that Nicole Richie also had a baby this weekend.
In fact, the birth of Nicole Richie's baby daughter was probably even more spectacular than the Aguilera birth because, by pushing six pounds and seven ounces out her body all at once, Nicole Richie managed to lose three fifths of her bodyweight almost instantly.
And, oh yeah, the father of the baby says that it looks like Nicole Richie. That was going to be our original point.
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