Articles tagged with: Joe Jackson
Joe Jackson Needs Some Pocket Money From His Dead Son
Parents, we all have them. And we all have memories of them. From the time you crapped yourself in a busy shopping centre to when your father started using swearwords in full conversation. Face it, we’ve all been there. Well that’s unless you’re a weird test-tube child and you were grown for scientific amusement. Sadly, not all relationships between parents and their offspring can go smoothly. There can be a variety of reasons of this. In the case of Michael Jackson he objected to his dad Joe Jackson whipping the stuffing out of him. But time heals all and love conquers emotions. Or, if your son has raked in as much posthumous money as Michael Jackson, then time means that daddy gets an easy payday.
Parents, we all have them. And we all have memories of them. From the time you crapped yourself in a busy shopping centre to when your father started using swearwords in full conversation. Face it, we’ve all been there. Well that’s unless you’re a weird test-tube child and you were grown for scientific amusement. Sadly, not all relationships between parents and their offspring can go smoothly. There can be a variety of reasons of this. In the case of Michael Jackson he objected to his dad Joe Jackson whipping the stuffing out of him. But time heals all and love conquers emotions. Or, if your son has raked in as much posthumous money as Michael Jackson, then time means that daddy gets an easy payday.
Michael Jackson Will Never Ever Be Buried
Michael Jackson did not want to be buried. Everybody knows this - plus there's no plot of ground that could possibly hold his greatness anyway. On top of that - it's common knowledge that in a 1987 Esquire magazine interview he clearly stated that upon death, in place of burial he wished his skeleton to be disassembled and turned into the world's smallest roller coaster. As we understand it, his jaw bone was to be the car, and he envisioned mostly mice riding it. Well whatever happens to his body - it's not happening on his birthday. His funeral's been pushed back again.
Michael Jackson did not want to be buried. Everybody knows this - plus there's no plot of ground that could possibly hold his greatness anyway. On top of that - it's common knowledge that in a 1987 Esquire magazine interview he clearly stated that upon death, in place of burial he wished his skeleton to be disassembled and turned into the world's smallest roller coaster. As we understand it, his jaw bone was to be the car, and he envisioned mostly mice riding it. Well whatever happens to his body - it's not happening on his birthday. His funeral's been pushed back again.
Michael Jackson: Joe Jackson Sadly Refuses To Violently Raise Kids
If one positive has come from Michael Jackson's death, it's probably the fact that it's made Joe Jackson famous again. Because, unequivocally, that man is a hero. Joe Jackson proved that, armed with little more than steely focus and a refreshing openness to emotional and physical torment, any normal child can transform into a quivering, tragic, drug-addicted megastar. And after Katherine Jackson was awarded custody of Michael Jackson's children, everyone secretly hoped that Joe Jackson would work his magic on them, too. But it's not to be. Joe Jackson has promised to only intermittently visit and/or terrify the children. Spoilsport.
If one positive has come from Michael Jackson's death, it's probably the fact that it's made Joe Jackson famous again. Because, unequivocally, that man is a hero. Joe Jackson proved that, armed with little more than steely focus and a refreshing openness to emotional and physical torment, any normal child can transform into a quivering, tragic, drug-addicted megastar. And after Katherine Jackson was awarded custody of Michael Jackson's children, everyone secretly hoped that Joe Jackson would work his magic on them, too. But it's not to be. Joe Jackson has promised to only intermittently visit and/or terrify the children. Spoilsport.
Michael Jackson’s Family Get Stuck Into His Will
They say that losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, but that's clearly rubbish. Look at Michael Jackson's parents. They're living proof that the worst thing that can happen to a parent is losing a millionaire child who wrote you out of his will because you used to mercilessly beat him all the time. But Katherine and Joe Jackson aren't going to let a little thing like the dying wishes of their beloved son stop them from getting rich, so they're contesting Michael Jackson's will. They waited for 27 days, for anyone running office sweepstakes.
They say that losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, but that's clearly rubbish. Look at Michael Jackson's parents. They're living proof that the worst thing that can happen to a parent is losing a millionaire child who wrote you out of his will because you used to mercilessly beat him all the time. But Katherine and Joe Jackson aren't going to let a little thing like the dying wishes of their beloved son stop them from getting rich, so they're contesting Michael Jackson's will. They waited for 27 days, for anyone running office sweepstakes.
Joe Jackson Enslaves His Dancing Orphan Grandkids Or Whatever
As far as we can tell the only good thing to come out of Michael Jackson's death is that he could now remake the zombie part of his Thriller video with a much smaller portion of budget allotted to the makeup department. The choreography might be a touch less fluid, but still. In that context this whole unfortunate death thing is a Hollywood financier's dream. Joe Jackson, allegedly, thinks some other lemonade can be made from the whole mess. He's trying hard to convince MJ's three kids to take to the stage in a worldwide tour sort of way.
As far as we can tell the only good thing to come out of Michael Jackson's death is that he could now remake the zombie part of his Thriller video with a much smaller portion of budget allotted to the makeup department. The choreography might be a touch less fluid, but still. In that context this whole unfortunate death thing is a Hollywood financier's dream. Joe Jackson, allegedly, thinks some other lemonade can be made from the whole mess. He's trying hard to convince MJ's three kids to take to the stage in a worldwide tour sort of way.
Michael Jackson’s Dad Smells Something Fishy
While the authorities try to untangle Michael Jackson's mess of finances and genetics, one question remains. What killed Michael Jackson? In fairness, that'll be answered soon enough as his toxicology results are returned. But that hasn't stopped Michael Jackson's dad Joe Jackson from speaking out now - he says that he suspects 'foul play'. Oh Joe, don't do yourself down. True, you stole Michael Jackson's childhood and have admitted to mercilessly beating him, and you've made a career of leeching off his success - but that hardly constitutes foul play. Oh, you were talking about someone else. Oh. Well this is awkward.
While the authorities try to untangle Michael Jackson's mess of finances and genetics, one question remains. What killed Michael Jackson? In fairness, that'll be answered soon enough as his toxicology results are returned. But that hasn't stopped Michael Jackson's dad Joe Jackson from speaking out now - he says that he suspects 'foul play'. Oh Joe, don't do yourself down. True, you stole Michael Jackson's childhood and have admitted to mercilessly beating him, and you've made a career of leeching off his success - but that hardly constitutes foul play. Oh, you were talking about someone else. Oh. Well this is awkward.
Michael Jackson Cuts His Dad Out Of His Will
This news just in: Michael Jackson is still dead. In other news, people still won't shut up about it. And why should they? Michael Jackson's death was just the tip of a depressing iceberg that we'll hear about for months - especially now that Michael Jackson's will from 2002 has apparently turned up. It'll take a while for the contents to be made public, but early reports suggest that Michael Jackson's father Joe doesn't even get a look in. It'll come as a painful shock to Joe Jackson - we heard that he really had his eye on Michael's nightmarish abandoned fairground, too.
This news just in: Michael Jackson is still dead. In other news, people still won't shut up about it. And why should they? Michael Jackson's death was just the tip of a depressing iceberg that we'll hear about for months - especially now that Michael Jackson's will from 2002 has apparently turned up. It'll take a while for the contents to be made public, but early reports suggest that Michael Jackson's father Joe doesn't even get a look in. It'll come as a painful shock to Joe Jackson - we heard that he really had his eye on Michael's nightmarish abandoned fairground, too.
