We’ve got nothing but sympathy for Ashley Dupre – after all, who hasn’t performed sexual acts on a high-ranking politician for cash these days?

And if a scandal about you being a massive whore with a slightly gross-looking New York governor isn’t bad enough, the inevitable follow-up story about the way you took your clothes off for a teen-exploiting series of softcore videos is just utterly degrading.

That’s why we’re fully behind Ashley Alexandra’s decision to sue Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for $10 million because he quickly released a 2003 video of her flashing her breasts in the wake of the scandal as a money-making enterprise. She’s completely correct – if she didn’t chase Joe Francis for cash, then what kind of filthy prostitute would Ashley Dupre be? A shit one, that’s what.

Britain’s Got Talent, American Idol, that rubbishy Graham Norton thing about Oliver Twist – all those contestants are deluding themselves. All they want is fame, and they’re going about it the wrong way. Statistically, the chances of you winning X Factor are minuscule – you stand a much better chance of becoming famous if you fuck a politician for cash, everyone knows that.

Ashley Dupre knows that, anyway. Every since she was uncovered as the prostitute at the centre of the Eliot Spitzer scandal, she’s been everywhere. Her face has been in newspapers constantly, the songs on her MySpace page have been thoroughly analysed – play them backwards and we’re told you hear “$500 for straight sex, or $1,000 to put it up my bumhole” – she’s been approached to appear in porn magazines and even Donald Trump’s got his eye on her.

So if Ashley Dupre plays her cards right, she might become the most successful prostitute since those women who Jack The Ripper stabbed to death. Especially if that $10 million lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis comes off.

You see, back in 2003, Ashley Dupre was filmed by Girls Gone Wild dancing around and flashing her breasts a lot. Nothing wrong with that, you might think – even sleazy overlords of morally-suspect softcore porn empires have to put dinner on their tables – but now Ashley Dupre says that she was filmed when she was just 17. And everyone knows that 17-year-olds don’t know anything about contracts. Especially, as the New York Post reports, when they’re blasted off their minds on booze:

Ashley Alexandra Dupre filed a lawsuit Monday in Miami federal court claiming she never gave “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis permission to use her name and likeness to advertise the videos. Dupre contends she was 17 and not old enough to sign a contract when the videos were taken in 2003 in Miami Beach. People.com said the lawsuit is for $10 million, and alleges that reps from the nudey video empire plied her with alcohol before getting to flash her breasts when she was only 17.

$10 million dollars is a vast amount of money for anyone, and our calculations suggest that Ashley Dupree would have to keep a man’s penis in her mouth for 2,500 hours – about three and a half months – without rest to earn that kind of cash normally.

But who knows what the outcome of this lawsuit will be. Maybe Ashley Dupre will win, maybe the judge will rule in favour of Girls Gone Wild and maybe, just maybe, we’ll get to write an article about something other than underage nudity sometime soon. That way it wouldn’t take as long to scrub the shame from our skin at the end of the day. Some days we think we’ll never get clean.

Read more:

ASHLEY DUPRE SUES ‘GIRLS GONE WILD’ OVER PICTURES – NYP