Remember when Mel Gibson was a Beaverless actor who wasn’t thought of as a racist, woman slapping basket case? Remember those days? Everyone liked him and he was the only famous Australian in the world.
Sadly for Mel, there’s loads of famous Australians who don’t terrify women and have buck-toothed rodents welded onto their arms now, leaving him looking pretty daft indeed.
And this is all thanks to his very public and incredibly messy split with Oksana Grigorieva. She’s so hurt by Gibbo’s fall from grace that she wants $500,000 for the trauma it has caused. Not her though. She’s fine. It’s the trauma caused to her 14-year-old son Sasha who everyone is mercilessly bullying thanks to being associated with two humans who give us all incredible amounts of ammunition, mercifully.
Read More >>>
Would you believe it! The new Mel Gibson movie, The Beaver, isn’t getting too great a reception, taking in a paltry £64,000 at the box office. Seriously. Charlie Sheen spends that on coke before he’s even had his breakfast.
And the producer of the film, Jodie Foster, can’t quite fathom what is to blame for the lukewarm response.
Could it be something to do with the fact that the public’s general consensus of Gibson is that he’s a wife-slapping, Jew-hating, N-bomb dropping nutter who is thoroughly dislikeable in every single way and that, perhaps she may have had more joy if she’d cast Robert Mugabe in the lead role? Well, this totally isn’t the case if you ask Foster.
Read More >>>
Mel Gibson. It’s the measure of a man’s charm when you can behave as badly as he has and still be quite so popular. On the one alleged hand you have alleged infidelity, alleged domestic abuse, alleged anti-semitism, alleged alcoholism, and the first mainstream S&M film to claim the moral high ground.
On the other hand you have Mad Max 2 and drunkenly calling a cop ‘sugar tits’, which whilst being morally repugnant, was comedically pleasing.
Go on admit it. You’d like a call a policewoman ‘sugar tits’ wouldn’t you? Consequences and a century of feminist progression be damned! Read More >>>
Right, everyone needs to calm down. Get a nice sweet tea, run yourself a hot bath, sprinkle rose petals around the house. Allow your clothes to slide gently from your body, and dab sprinkles of baby oil onto your thighs. That’s it. Mmm, feel the soft breeze leaping and dancing around your underpants.
Now put on that Best of Alexander O’Neal compilation that was specifically designed to soothe you. And relax. Relaxed? Then listen carefully – there isn’t an Oscar curse. That’s right. Shhhhh…
Yes, it’s true that Sandra Bullock’s wholesome life partner MIGHT have spent a few long evenings smearing his podgy sausage hands all over a woman with tatts on her bosoms, but this could have been going on for AGES. Even during Sandra’s period in the desert when she was just another non-Oscar winner. A nobody.
As for the others – Halle Berry, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, the one who was a boy in that film about being confused – they were all probably just terrible wives.
Now wake the hell up, because here’s something really uplifting! It’s a handful of beautiful thespians who still have husbands/lesbian partners, despite winning an Oscar! See? There’s no hex! You’re so SWEET with your silly craziness. Read More >>>
All of a sudden everyone’s bisexual, everyone.
The Big Brother people, Megan Fox, the one from Black Eyed Peas – everyone. Unfortunately, we’re not impressed one jot, because, frankly, being bisexual is a doddle. The ones we really look up to are the lesbians. And to prove it, here’s a list of the greatest lesbians walking the earth…
Read More >>>
Stalkers, it's time to raise your game – boxes of dead flowers and jizz-covered photos just won't cut it anymore, not now that Jodie Foster's stalker wants to blow up some airports.
OK, before we get too ahead of ourselves, let's make it clear that the man in question is only Jodie Foster's alleged stalker and that he's only been arrested on suspicion of threatening to blow up just one airport in a handwritten letter.
But either way, Jodie Foster gets all the luck, doesn't she. Never mind blowing up an airports, we'd be happy enough if someone just wanted to trump in a monkey's eye to prove their love for us.
Read More >>>
You know Jodie Foster, that actress who you've always presumed to be a lesbian even though she's never explicitly stated as much in public?
Yeah, turns out she's a lesbian. At the Hollywood Reporter's Women in Entertainment Power 100 breakfast earlier this week, Jodie Foster decided that the time was right to bravely step out of the closet and admit her homosexuality to the world by dedicating an award to her same-sex partner of close to two decades. And Jodie Foster's lesbian announcement sent ripples of shock throughout the planet, or at least throughout the one remaining partially-blind pensioner from the remotest part of rural Tajikistan who'd never been able to work out why that lovely Jodie Foster girl had avoided settling down with a nice man for so long.
Read More >>>
