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Joaquin Phoenix hoax

If you’re looking for a cause for Joaquin Phoenix’s erratic behaviour – other than Joaquin Phoenix’s innate dickery – then you could be in luck.

That’s because James Gray – the director of Joaquin Phoenix’s new film – says that he feels responsible for Joaquin Phoenix quitting acting, growing a beard like a French lady’s armpit, becoming a rapper and having a completely cuckoo loopy meltdown.

We’re still not convinced that Joaquin Phoenix isn’t hoaxing everyone, but James Gray makes a convincing point – if you spent six months staring at Gwyneth Paltrow‘s bare breasts, you’d be lucky to escape with all your marbles, too.

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It’s fair to say that Joaquin Phoenix is either a) playing an elaborate hoax on the world or b) a ludicrous whackjob.

Which one is it? Nobody can say, although it’s almost definitely the first one. So far, Joaquin Phoenix has quit acting for hip-hop, let Casey Affleck make a documentary about it, fallen offstage during a show – and now he’s just done a berserk, incomprehensible interview on Letterman too.

Of course, if this is all a hoax, we’re sure that it’ll have a very important point. Right now we’d guess that the point is ‘Joaquin Phoenix is a turd’.

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