We thought that Joanna Pacitti would win American Idol because she had it all – the look, the voice, the talent.

The suspicious connections to American Idol bigwigs. Everything. But sadly it wasn’t to be – apparently having released albums, performed on movie soundtracks and living in the same apartment block as a 19 Entertainment executive that you refer to as you best friend and manager is seen as something of an unfair advantage. Who knew?

And, since Joanna Pacitti has all of those things, American Idol has disqualified her. A contestant disqualified for something other than having sex with Paula Abdul? Shocking.

If it wasn’t for scandal, American Idol would shrivel and die, which is why there’s been so much of it. Whether it’s Simon Cowell being offensive to gay people, or contestants who used to wiggle their genitals at men for a living, or Taylor Hicks coming first in anything other than a Most Tragically Comical Redneck competition, controversy has never been far from the show’s surface.

And this year American Idol has been more controversial than ever. That’s partly because of the dead stalker who turned up outside Paula Abdul’s house and partly because of the introduction of a new judge (who, incidentally, is the exact spitting image of Mathesar from Galaxy Quest), but mostly because of Joanna Pacitti.

If you’ve been watching American Idol, you’ll know who Joanna Pacitti is. And if you haven’t been watching American Idol, you’ll still know who Joanna Pacitti is, because Joanna Pacitti is really titting famous. Joanna’s past achievements include starring as Annie on Broadway, releasing albums, starring in documentaries and reality TV shows, performing on the soundtracks of at least two movies and dating one of the professionals from Dancing With The Stars. In short, Joanna Pacitti is about seven times more famous than, say, Tara Reid.

And that’s why American Idol viewers wanted Joanna Pacitti disqualified from the show. They said she had an unfair advantage and that she’d already experienced success in her career. But, rightly guessing that wailing a song on the soundtrack of a movie that nobody saw based on a set of freakishly dismorphic Barbie-alternative toys didn’t necessarily qualify as ‘success’, American Idol decided to keep Joanna Pacitti in.

And then a magazine reported that Joanna Pacitti was pals with a bunch of people from American Idol‘s production company, which is why her dream is now over. Realitytvworld reports:

“It has been determined that Joanna Pacitti is ineligible to continue in the competition,” the network stated. Pacitti has “very personal connections” to Michelle Young and Roger Widynowski, two executives that work in 19 Entertainment’s Los Angeles office. In addition to living in the same apartment complex as the 19 Entertainment executives, Pacitti has also allegedly called Young her “manager” and “best friend”.

The news of Pacitti’s disqualification came directly after the episode of American Idol that showed her getting through to the semi-finals. Her place has now been taken by someone called Felicia Barton, who hopefully embodies the American Idol spirit better than Joanna Pacitti did.

By that we mean that we want Felicia Barton to be a weird-faced novelty act who screams a lot and will commit suicide the moment anyone says anything bad about her. Naturally.

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Joanna Pacitti’s life is like a fairy tale – a slightly crappy fairy tale with no magic that’s actually sort of boring.

But a fairy tale nonetheless. Joanna Pacitti starred on Broadway as a child, she’s sung songs for several terrible movies and she’s been romantically involved with one of the world’s least famous men. And now Joanna Pacitti is through to the next stage of American Idol.

And everyone hates her. Joanna Pacitti shouldn’t be on American Idol, they say, because she’s already a great singer. And we all know that American Idol is about terrible singers like Taylor Hicks.

American Idol is no stranger to controversy – like that time everyone thought that Paula Abdul was having it off with a contestant. Or that time that a Paula Abdul fan killed herself outside Paula Abdul’s house. Or that time that Paula Abdul smashed up her face on a dog. OK, we take it back. Paula Abdul is no stranger to controversy.

But get ready for that rarest thing – an American Idol controversy that’s got nothing to do with Paula Abdul whatsover. And it’s all down to a contestant named Joanna Pacitti.

Because American Idol is doing its best to be nice this year, we’re seeing fewer scenes of Simon Cowell heaping abuse onto obviously disabled people who’ll invariably take out their frustration by climbing a clocktower with a machinegun and taking potshots at strangers, and more about raw talent. And Joanna Pacitti – who was put through to the Hollywood round on Wednesday night – undoubtedly has raw talent.

The problem is, she’s probably got a little bit too much raw talent. Joanna Pacitti’s CV is bursting with achievements – she’s starred in a reality TV show and a documentary, she starred in Annie on Broadway when she was 11, she signed to A&M and released an album three years ago, she used to go out with some bloke from a TV show about dancing and she’s performed on the soundtracks of Legally Blonde and the Bratz movie.

And because of all this, American Idol fans are after Joanna Pacitti’s blood, as MSNBC reports:

A host of people posting on “Idol’s” official forum suggested she should be disqualified because of her background and suggested she may have an advantage if she makes it to the public vote. “The point is that because she is a ‘semi-pro’… she already has a built in fan base and voting block. That skews the competition in her favor, especially in the early rounds,” poster Marcdamon wrote.

It’s an interesting point – at what point do you stop being undiscovered talent? Would American Idol let, say, the fat one from ‘N Sync audition? The truth is, probably not. Unless his wife had just died and they could make a sad two-minute segment full of drippy piano music and wobbly decade-old home video of him and his wife skipping around in a meadow together. Because then that son of a bitch would be in like a shot.

But Joanna Pacitti doesn’t even have a tragic backstory – all she’s got is a pile of former successes that some say give her an unfair advantage. Should she be disqualified from American Idol? That’s for the show to decide.

But, still, at least this is one American Idol controversy that Paula Abdul has absolutely nothing to do with. Except that she briefly worked as an executive producer on the Bratz movie that Joanna Pacitti did the soundtrack to. But apart from that, absolutely nothing.

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