Joan Rivers Is The New Facially Immobile Celebrity Apprentice What is the one thing The Apprentice has taught us? That's right, that emotion has no place in the business environment. And that's probably why Joan Rivers won Celebrity Apprentice last night - thanks to all the plastic surgery she's had, the only emotion she can ever properly display is a kind of constant resigned shock. But let's stick to the point here - Joan Rivers won Celebrity Apprentice last night. So congratulations, Joan Rivers - you're now officially as good as Piers Morgan. Please celebrate this fact in the appropriate way, by which we mean either sobbing relentlessly or haplessly attempting suicide.

Loose Women Gets Vaguely Exciting

For the unemployed of the land or students suffering a hangover from the night before, you will have seen Loose Women.

No, it’s not a programme on prostitutes or any other sort of muckiness, it's in fact an hour of programming aimed at the ladies of the land. No knitting or cooking tips are passed on, instead it's four middle-aged hags bleating on about how crap men are

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