Jimmy Savile - HecklerSpray

‘PR Guru’ Max Clifford Unable to Keep His Arrest Out the Papers

December 6th, 2012 By Chris Starr

We’ve reached the end of the world. People, it was good knowing you. But six days before 12/12/12, we have a fundamental sign of the impending, bloody, firey doom that’s waiting for us. The kaleidoscope has been shaken, and the cards have been drawn, and all I can see is some shitty nonsensical pattern and WHOTHEFUCKPUTSTHEJOKERINTHEPACK?!

Celebrities, cuckolds and misanthropic wifebeaters everywhere are shitting bricks. Max Clifford, ~~the waxwork model of whom~~ (oh, I’m being informed that is a real photo of him) the infallible human fireblanket that keeps them oh so flame retardant, has been arrested today. And he’s not just been arrested for stealing a pint of milk – oh, no no no…

Jimmy Savile is a Perverted Child Molester (Not Surprised)

October 10th, 2012 By Chris Starr

Jimmy Savile was a strange person. He wore velour tracksuits, was never seen in the company of a woman, and raised millions of pounds for charity, all while looking permanently aged and like an old great uncle. Kids loved him. It turns out – after his death – that he may have loved kids too.

It’s a terrible thing to say, but there are serious allegations being laid at Savile that he molested and raped at least 30 different young girls during his time as a DJ and TV presenter. Commander Peter Spindler of the Metropolitan Police has said that “it is quite clear from what women are telling us that Savile was a predatory sex offender.”

Jimmy Savile Gets Mugged And Bloody Loves It

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As an 81-year-old man, you'd expect Sir Jimmy Savile to crave the quiet life, but that couldn't be further from the truth – because Jimmy Savile has started to relish being violently attacked by people six decades younger than him.

Yesterday Jimmy Savile was in Leeds for an awards ceremony when, out of nowhere, a woman in her twenties threw herself at the elderly entertainer and robbed him of his pink-tinted sunglasses before making away with them. But rather than deciding to spend the next six weeks giving interviews about the cruelty of youth and how he's too scared to leave his house any more, Jimmy Savile has described the mugging as 'marvellous.' Next week: Sir Jimmy Savile gets stabbed in the bowel by some happy-slappers and goes on to call it 'the best thing that's happened to me since the end of Jim'll Fix It'.

And the funny thing is, it probably would be, too.