Jimi Hendrix - HecklerSpray

Greatest Guitarists Of All Time Chosen From Usual List Of Greatest Guitarists Of All Time (We Show Those Overlooked)

November 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Guitarists are all idiots. Every single one of them. They’re the ones who think they’re the heart of a band, resentful that the singer gets all the sex, the bassist gets all the cool fans and envious of the drummer because… okay, they’re not jealous of drummers at all.

Of course, as writers are prone to making pointless lists, Rolling Stone magazine have decided that the world needs another Greatest Guitarists Ever list.

As ever, there isn’t one name in the top 10 that will surprise you because these lists are always gleaned from the same old axe-wielding losers. Naturally, we’ll be proffering people who are far more worthy.

Jimi Hendrix Was Murdered By His Manager, Says Man With Book To Sell

June 2nd, 2009 By Stuart Waterman

Jimi Hendrix’s death has long been one of the few rock demises to lack a well-publicised conspiracy theory.

Over the years his death has been overshadowed by tinfoil-hatted conspiracies attached to the deaths of the likes of Elvis Presley, The Rolling Stones’ Brian Jones and Jim Morrison of The Doors.

Indeed the popular perception of Hendrix’s demise seems to be that when he accidentally inhaled his own toxic vomit and passed away in 1970 at the age of 27, everyone just kind of murmered “woah, that’s heavy”, dropped a quaalude, and then continued tie-dyeing their kaftans.

But there have always been disagreements about how Jimi Hendrix popped his psychedelic clogs, and now an ex-roadie of his – who just happens to have a book to pimp – is claiming that the guitar genius had pills n’booze shoved down his gullet by his own bloody manager

Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape Is A Big Fat Pile Of Fake – Claim

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Bad news – if you want to see what Jimi Hendrix looks like having sex, you’ll either need a time machine or a shovel and some puppet strings.

Because, we’re sad to report, the much-vaunted Jimi Hendrix sex tape has been exposed as a lie. True, the man having sex looks a whole lot like Jimi Hendrix, but Experience Hendrix – the company which controls Jimi Hendrix’s rights – is now claiming that the tape is a fraud.

And if Experience Hendrix says that the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is a fake, then that’s the truth. It should know better than anyone because it’s made up of members of the Hendrix family. All families have the moral obligation to exactly memorise what their long-dead relatives looked like during sex for this precise reason. We have – have you?

Hey, Death-Fixated Perverts! Watch The Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape!

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

These dead people, honestly, they’re disgusting – and not just because they smell and are dead all the time, either.

It’s because dead people just can’t stop making sex tapes at the moment. Just a few weeks after word of the Marilyn Monroe sex tape got out, it’s now been claimed that the equally dead Jimi Hendrix also made a sex tape with a couple of women. And best of all, the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is actually for sale!

True, most who have actually seen the Jimi Hendrix sex tape seem fairly certain that it’s a fake and that it’s mildly insulting for Jimi Hendrix to be attributed to some pornography just because it stars a black man with an afro and facial hair, but put yourselves in the distributor’s place – a famous face always makes more money, so it was always either going to be the Jimi Hendrix sex tape or the That Bloke Out Of TV On The Radio Sex Tape, and who’d buy that?