Cynthia Nixon is a lot of things to different people; third favourite character in Sex And The City, postmodern mother, pretend lover, and of late, power lesbian, but recently she’s transitioned from bona fide actress into one trick, famous homosexualist.
We were all shocked when Nixon revealed that she had hitched herself up with a woman after the collapse of her 15 year marriage to a man. And even more shocked when she debuted her brand new baby to us all.
Well set down that cup of coffee and prepare yourself for some of the most absurd news that you will hear today, unless a US congressman tries to say that 9/11 was orchestrated by Phil Mitchell to flush out Michelle and Vicky Fowler. Rumour has it that Vicky is going to be Albert Square’s version of John Connor when Mr. Papadopolous’ Launderette rises up and strikes.
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Ridiculously dressed designer, John Galliano, has been found guilty of racist and anti-Semitic behaviour by a Paris court today, which means you can’t go around shouting your mouth off about Jews. Okay?
Johnny G was facing charges of “casting public insults based on origin, religious affiliation, race or ethnicity” by French authorities and was ordered to court today to pay a total fine of 17,500 euros.
However, he won’t be getting sexually assaulted in the prison showers.
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What’s the fashion world’s problem with Jews? Seriously. John Galliano recently went nutso about our Jewish cousins, and now, people are accusing the ghost of Coco Chanel of being a massive Jew hater.
See, there’s this book out which points at the fashion legend while mouthing the words “Nazi sympathiser”.
In fact, it’s suggested that she wasn’t so much sympathetic, but actually a proper Nazi, collaborating with them during World War II as a spy code-named “Westminster.” So that means, by our reckoning, that if you have Chanel anything, you may as well go and defecate in a Synagogue during Shabbat.
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Funny little moustache? Wears strange trousers? Really doesn’t like Jews? No silly! It’s not Hitler! Allegedly, it’s John Galliano! That means you’re a Nazi sympathiser if you like his clothes! Or something! Hurray for that, eh?
Galliano, who looks like a horrific hybrid of a cat, Goldilocks, a French revolutionary and a simpleton, has reportedly had his balls hauled into custody for making anti-Semitic remarks to, presumably, a Jew.
There’s a video knocking around which shows Galliano having a massive hissy fit in some hideous sounding place called La Perle in Paris where everyone drinks tiny coffees and mutters about olives and handbags or something.
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If you want the police to go easy on you after you've been arrested for driving a car drunk, perhaps you should try screaming a hate-filled rant about how rubbish Jewish people are, because it worked for Mel Gibson.
The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department yesterday released its report into the DUI arrest of Mel Gibson last year, and it turns out that Mel got plenty of special treatment from the police. Apparently police attempted to hide aspects of Mel Gibson's arrest from the public, didn't sign all the necessary paperwork and even gave him a lift back to his car after he was released. Worst of all, Mel Gibson was also ignored by the female police office who he drunkenly bellowed "What are you looking at, Sugartits?" to, when official police procedure required her to curtsy, giggle into her handkerchief and reply "Why thank you kind sir" in the style of a wealthy plantation owner's daughter from 1860s Virginia.
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