Jessica Simpson doesn’t know when to shut up. Last week a man called her ‘sexual napalm’ in a magazine.

That’s enough. If we were Jessica Simpson we’d disappear for a few months after being called something like that, just to let the reputation sink in a bit. Actually, no, we’d probably go the full JD Salinger, just to ensure that when we died our gravestone would read ‘Jessica Simpson. Sexual Napalm.’ We’d love to be known as ‘sexual napalm’. It’d certainly be a step up from ‘sexual dishwater’, which is where we probably stand at the moment.

But anyway, Jessica Simpson hasn’t disappeared. She’s done an interview about America’s obsession with weight instead. So rather than being ‘Jessica Simpson: Sexual Napalm’ she’s back to being ‘Jessica Simpson: The Woman Who Got Slightly Fat For A Few Days Once And Then Wouldn’t Stop Rabbiting On About It’ again. Suits us.