Articles tagged with: Jessica Simpson
Ashlee Simpson Not Even Good Enough For Melrose Place Now
Getting people to watch the remade Melrose Place must be like putting a pig in a dress and asking strangers to hump it. How can you improve it? Short of burning it to the ground and praying that nobody remembers it even existed, you probably can't. But, hey the Melrose Place producers are a tenacious bunch, and they're not giving up without a fight. By which we mean they've sacked Ashlee Simpson. Makes sense. At least now we won't have to think of the show as Melrose Place: Starring Ashlee Simpson any more. It'll be Melrose Place: Starring, Oh, You Know, That Guy. You Know The One. That Guy Who Did That Thing. And A Girl. It's much better.
Getting people to watch the remade Melrose Place must be like putting a pig in a dress and asking strangers to hump it. How can you improve it? Short of burning it to the ground and praying that nobody remembers it even existed, you probably can't. But, hey the Melrose Place producers are a tenacious bunch, and they're not giving up without a fight. By which we mean they've sacked Ashlee Simpson. Makes sense. At least now we won't have to think of the show as Melrose Place: Starring Ashlee Simpson any more. It'll be Melrose Place: Starring, Oh, You Know, That Guy. You Know The One. That Guy Who Did That Thing. And A Girl. It's much better.
Jessica Simpson’s Dog Get’s Eaten By A Thin Coyote
Well it seems Jessica Simpson has finally learned to not make her pets look so delicious all the time. No doubt right now she's stripping all her cats out of their hamburger outfits, she's un-plucking all her canary's feathers and hoping the generously applied butter-baste rinses off on it's own, and she's gonna stop breading her still-alive goldfish every 15 minutes. She's not giving all this up for no good reason though - it's because a coyote recently swooped in, picked up her pooch, and carried it off to a ferrel-dog picnic or something. Incidentally, all this happened right before Simpson's eyes.
Well it seems Jessica Simpson has finally learned to not make her pets look so delicious all the time. No doubt right now she's stripping all her cats out of their hamburger outfits, she's un-plucking all her canary's feathers and hoping the generously applied butter-baste rinses off on it's own, and she's gonna stop breading her still-alive goldfish every 15 minutes. She's not giving all this up for no good reason though - it's because a coyote recently swooped in, picked up her pooch, and carried it off to a ferrel-dog picnic or something. Incidentally, all this happened right before Simpson's eyes.
Top 26 Pop Star Babes
The pop industry has a lot to answer for. It has created a lot of monsters. Simon Cowell and Kerry Katona spring to mind immediately. But female pop stars are not all talentless bints who clutter up newspapers and snarky entertainment sites (thanks for that) with their inane chatter and their lady bits. Some of them look nice too. In fact, some of them are incredibly sexy. Oh, and some of them can sing too - but not that many.
The pop industry has a lot to answer for. It has created a lot of monsters. Simon Cowell and Kerry Katona spring to mind immediately. But female pop stars are not all talentless bints who clutter up newspapers and snarky entertainment sites (thanks for that) with their inane chatter and their lady bits. Some of them look nice too. In fact, some of them are incredibly sexy. Oh, and some of them can sing too - but not that many.
WEBTHUMP! 12 August 2009
10 - Channing Tatum can 'jam', apparently. Ugh - AmyGrindhouse 9 - And now, the first step to having sex with a virtual reality prostitute - Geekologie 8 - OLD LADIES IN BIKINIS - Interestment 7 - Freecycling: why it is quite good - Shoutingatcows
Jessica Simpson’s Barbie And Ken Party Idea Scared Off Tony Romo
Jessica Simpson broke a cardinal rule of dating - never ask a guy to indulge in dress up or any other kind of kinky role play outside of the bedroom. Worse still, never talk about your bizarre and rather scary sexual peccadilloes in front of his mates. Jessica is now a single lady. A lady who has been photographed by her local gym getting her sexy back, rather than doing as even her own fans were expecting - and burying herself in mountain of sugary treats. The singer broke up with her sports star boyfriend Tony Romo on July 9, ending a two-year relationship. By all accounts, she also ended two years of crazy-ass-ness and clingy behaviour.
Jessica Simpson broke a cardinal rule of dating - never ask a guy to indulge in dress up or any other kind of kinky role play outside of the bedroom. Worse still, never talk about your bizarre and rather scary sexual peccadilloes in front of his mates. Jessica is now a single lady. A lady who has been photographed by her local gym getting her sexy back, rather than doing as even her own fans were expecting - and burying herself in mountain of sugary treats. The singer broke up with her sports star boyfriend Tony Romo on July 9, ending a two-year relationship. By all accounts, she also ended two years of crazy-ass-ness and clingy behaviour.
Jessica Simpson Launches World’s Most Unfortunately-Timed Perfume
Here's a recap - Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo have split up, and Tony has banned Jessica from his house. Pretty humiliating, huh? Still, at least that's as bad as things can get for Jessica Simpson, right? Because, come on, it's not as if Jessica Simpson had spent months preparing to launch a new perfume inspired by her deep love for Tony Romo, is it? And it's not like she was going to call it anything as retrospectively stupid as Fancy Love. Only a genuine idiot would do a thing as dumb as that. What? Why has everyone gone quiet? Oh.
Here's a recap - Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo have split up, and Tony has banned Jessica from his house. Pretty humiliating, huh? Still, at least that's as bad as things can get for Jessica Simpson, right? Because, come on, it's not as if Jessica Simpson had spent months preparing to launch a new perfume inspired by her deep love for Tony Romo, is it? And it's not like she was going to call it anything as retrospectively stupid as Fancy Love. Only a genuine idiot would do a thing as dumb as that. What? Why has everyone gone quiet? Oh.
Jessica Simpson Goes On A Revenge Diet! So Take That, Um, Food!
Jessica Simpson won't look back on 2009 fondly - first she got a bit fat, then she split up with her boyfriend. But she'll show them. Oh yeah, Jessica Simpson's going to show them GOOD! How? By doing the only sensible thing that a 29-year-old single woman who had one solitary unflattering photo taken of her several months ago can do - she's going on a crash diet and exercising furiously. That's right, Jessica Simpson is determined to lose one pound a day until there's nothing left but a pile of teeth, nipples and clumps of hair. So great work, Jessica. Almost there.
Jessica Simpson won't look back on 2009 fondly - first she got a bit fat, then she split up with her boyfriend. But she'll show them. Oh yeah, Jessica Simpson's going to show them GOOD! How? By doing the only sensible thing that a 29-year-old single woman who had one solitary unflattering photo taken of her several months ago can do - she's going on a crash diet and exercising furiously. That's right, Jessica Simpson is determined to lose one pound a day until there's nothing left but a pile of teeth, nipples and clumps of hair. So great work, Jessica. Almost there.
Jessica Simpson/ Tony Romo Split: Let’s Blame The Creepy Dad!
Why did Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split up? There are countless possible reasons, too many to list. But only one of them is hilarious. So let's go with that. Reports are suggesting that Tomy Romo ran away from Jessica Simpson because of her meddling, breast-fixated father, Joe Simpson. Apparently one of the factors for the split was Joe's insistence on giving Tony endless advice about how to do his job properly. It's such a waste, especially when poor old Pete Wentz is crying out for advice about how to write better songs. And what a decent haircut looks like.
Why did Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split up? There are countless possible reasons, too many to list. But only one of them is hilarious. So let's go with that. Reports are suggesting that Tomy Romo ran away from Jessica Simpson because of her meddling, breast-fixated father, Joe Simpson. Apparently one of the factors for the split was Joe's insistence on giving Tony endless advice about how to do his job properly. It's such a waste, especially when poor old Pete Wentz is crying out for advice about how to write better songs. And what a decent haircut looks like.
