Jessica Alba - HecklerSpray

20 of the Biggest Celebrity MILFs

March 25th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Remember back when Kim Kardashian “broke the internet” with her lubed up ass magazine cover? And remember how that uppity bitch Naya Rivera was all like “OMG, you’re a mother now” as if having a kid means you can’t be sexy and naked whenever you want (Naya is pregnant now, so I look forward to calling hypocrite when she poses for MAXIM after having her baby).

Women have babies all the damn time and amazingly stay insanely hot and beautiful. In fact, some of them get straight up hotter AFTER they have kids. Here are twenty celeb moms who should change their names to Febreeze because they are fresh to death.

Jessica Alba Is Both Talentless And Classy

May 27th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Why the fuck do people still care about Jessica Alba?? I mean that sincerely.? Outside of staged photo ops and the occasional Facebook ad I get about her crunchy baby company, what the hell does she does she do?? More importantly, what does she do that still makes her worth an interview about being an actress?

Ok, according to IMDB, she has done a few films over the couple of years.? Excuse me for not remembering Spy Kids 4.? My point still remains.

The Top 10 Hottest Female Celebrity Butts

January 15th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

datass

I talk about boobs a lot. So much so that people might think that I am strictly a boob woman, but that simply is not true. In fact, I consider myself quite a huge fan of “dat ass”. I love and appreciate booties big and small, and in a world where doing at least 100 squats a day is part of your job, you know the entertainment industry is full of beautiful booties.

I couldn’t do a top 10 countdown of which one is best, because each of these booties make me want to say “Nice rump, wanna hump?” in their own special way. From the tiny, but mighty, to the OH DAAAAYUUUMMM, here are 10 Hollywood booties worth ogling. In case you didn’t know, many of these luscious butts are also listed in our world famous nude celebs post.

Jessica Alba Without Makeup

Jessica Alba is a sight for sore eyes. Marrying Cash Warren and having two kids did little to dent her sex appeal. The painfully beautiful actress surprisingly doubles up as mother nature?s biggest cheerleader. She has enjoyed huge success with her ever expanding organic baby range, The Honest Company.

Alba starred as leading lady on television series Dark Angel and films including Honey, Fantastic Four and Sin City followed. Whilst Alba has spoken about not wanting to be typecast she doesn’t fight the pretty and is a favorite of director Robert Rodriguez playing hot action heroine characters.

Readers’ Letters: In Which You All Dribble Over Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts [Video]

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Every week, we have the unfortunate task of picking our way through your crusted correspondence to find the most depraved, hideous scrawlings to put on the site for everyone to laugh at. This week, it was a little bit easier as our drooling mass of a readership left a slug trail right to some of the most sexually-charged content that has ever deposited itself in our post bag thanks to a certain Ms. Scarlett Johansson.

Yes, everyone’s favourite bombshell had her phone hacked as hecklerspray brought the curious masses a skin-exclusive and everyone wanted to get in touch to reveal their masturbatory habits. There’s also veiled threats from Kasabian’s representatives, a singing Michael Jackson and a screaming INXS nutter, all with Editor Mof just over the jump.

Hilary Up The Duff While Jessica Alba Gives Birth To Cheap Stereo

August 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Women! Famous ones! Women about to ruin their lives by introducing more children to this cripplingly awful planet! HURRAY! We have started knitting tiny woollen shoes and cutting a high leg to make attractive tanga brief nappies for the discerning celeb sprog.

And in great news for punners and headline writers, Hilary Duff is pregnant on the year anniversary of her marriage to some pointless athlete or other.

Elsewhere, Jessica Alba has a baby, which means that we can rehash our jokes about cheap Alba stereo units that people used to buy, which most of you will have never heard of because you’re all ironic, middle-class shitheads who had everything they ever wanted, not that it stopped you from writing maudlin poetry, crying on your driving holiday to France.

It Is Jessica Alba’s Fault That Machete Was Sexless

November 26th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Do you like looking at Jessica Alba? Do you think she’s a very attractive woman but would look much better with no clothes on, writhing around on a bed and panting like a dog locked in a car on a sunny day?

Well, chances are, you’ve been a bit frustrated with chunks of Alba’s career as she’s shown herself to be a bit of a prude. Not too much, but y’know, a bit.

And so, if you went to the cinema to watch Machete in the hope of loads of filth, smut and sex, the reason you were left half-cocked is because Alba made the director take out loads of sex scenes that were written into the script for her character.

I’m Ugly With Saggy Boobs Says Clearly Attractive Jessica Alba

October 6th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Jessica Alba is a constant on pointless Top 100 Women That Other Humans Masturbate Over Pictures Of lists. Her genes are doing something right. Right? Wrong. That’s because Jessica Alba is so horrific to look at that the Earth itself has grown a mouth, just so it can do a little sick in it.

That’s according to her anyway.

Yep, Jessica Alba thinks that she’s one of the least attractive actresses in the film industry. That’s right. Less-attractive than Kathy Burke.

The Killer Inside Me – DVD Review

August 5th, 2012 By James Morton

The Killer Inside Me, the latest genre excursion from filmmaker Michael Winterbottom, opens with a huge red herring. A jaunty, stylish credits sequence ushers the film in to the tune of Little Willie John’s version of ‘Fever’. ‘Fever”s a bit of an aural signpost.

Putting it over the opening credits of a film is like saying “What follows will be sexy. You will basically be able to smell it”.

The fact that The Killer Inside Me won’t give you a fever that’s hard to bear, however, is the least of its problems.

Top 26 Comic Book Movie Babes

August 7th, 2012 By David Schwartz

There’s no doubt that comic book movies have included some of the hottest actresses around.

It only makes sense. I mean, if you were creating a comic book story, wouldn’t you draw the hottest women you could think of?

So, obviously, when it comes to turning these scribbles into real people for Movieland, you really have to find the cream. And, for the most part, the studios get it right. So much so, that crunching them down into just 26 was one of the hardest tasks we have ever done.

But it was worth every minute. Enjoy.