Articles tagged with: Jessica Alba
Top 25 Fantasy Film Babes
Grab your magic wands and swords – let's hear it for the hottest fantasy film babes. In our latest excuse to trawl the internet looking for pictures of sexy women, we have decided to focus our attentions on the strange world of fantasy. Now, admittedly, this could be misinterpreted as an excuse to scour the net for porn. Type in the words 'fantasy film' or 'fantasy babes' into your search engine of choice and you certainly get some interesting responses. But you'll be delighted to know we stayed professional throughout, kept our greedy eyes off the one ring and stuck rigidly to our magical quest.
Grab your magic wands and swords – let's hear it for the hottest fantasy film babes. In our latest excuse to trawl the internet looking for pictures of sexy women, we have decided to focus our attentions on the strange world of fantasy. Now, admittedly, this could be misinterpreted as an excuse to scour the net for porn. Type in the words 'fantasy film' or 'fantasy babes' into your search engine of choice and you certainly get some interesting responses. But you'll be delighted to know we stayed professional throughout, kept our greedy eyes off the one ring and stuck rigidly to our magical quest.
Jessica Alba Won’t Go To Jail For Her Misplaced Shark Love
Good news! It looks like Jessica Alba has finally found her calling! Because lord knows it isn't acting! No, instead Jessica Alba has revealed her true talent to be political activism. Admittedly she's rubbish at that too, and the extent of her activism seems to involve illegally pasting up a load of posters about shark awareness in a city that's 500 miles away from the sea and then getting caught doing it, but - to reiterate - she's still better at that than she is at acting. Not that it matters - Jessica Alba won't be charged. Another win for moderate physical attractiveness! Hooray!
Good news! It looks like Jessica Alba has finally found her calling! Because lord knows it isn't acting! No, instead Jessica Alba has revealed her true talent to be political activism. Admittedly she's rubbish at that too, and the extent of her activism seems to involve illegally pasting up a load of posters about shark awareness in a city that's 500 miles away from the sea and then getting caught doing it, but - to reiterate - she's still better at that than she is at acting. Not that it matters - Jessica Alba won't be charged. Another win for moderate physical attractiveness! Hooray!
Sexiest Women Of The Noughties (So Far)
With The Noughties almost at an end, it’s time to reflect. How will they best be remembered? Will people look back at a decade of global disasters, like 9/11, the world banking crisis and George W Bush? Or even the rise of talentless celebs such as Lily Allen, Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? Well, we could list things all day, but being the shallow idiots we are, we have instead decided to focus on what really matters – the sexiest women. Call it a study of our shifting ideas about beauty and fashion if you like, but it’s really just another excuse to scour the internet for pictures of sexy girls.
With The Noughties almost at an end, it’s time to reflect. How will they best be remembered? Will people look back at a decade of global disasters, like 9/11, the world banking crisis and George W Bush? Or even the rise of talentless celebs such as Lily Allen, Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? Well, we could list things all day, but being the shallow idiots we are, we have instead decided to focus on what really matters – the sexiest women. Call it a study of our shifting ideas about beauty and fashion if you like, but it’s really just another excuse to scour the internet for pictures of sexy girls.
Jessica Alba Vs Bill O’Reilly: It’s A Twonk-Off!
Jessica Alba has two main talents - picking terrible movies and giving unwatchable performances in them. And now we can add a third - Jessica Alba is also a genius. No, really, she is. Recently, unbearable gasbag Bill O'Reilly mocked Jessica Alba for saying that Sweden was a neutral wartime country. And now Jessica has hit back at Bill with all sorts of long words she almost certainly doesn't understand.. Pick sides in this Jessica Alba/ Bill O'Reilly feud if you want. We'll just pray that they have a fistfight that culminates in them both toppling over a cliff-edge onto some jagged rocks.
Jessica Alba has two main talents - picking terrible movies and giving unwatchable performances in them. And now we can add a third - Jessica Alba is also a genius. No, really, she is. Recently, unbearable gasbag Bill O'Reilly mocked Jessica Alba for saying that Sweden was a neutral wartime country. And now Jessica has hit back at Bill with all sorts of long words she almost certainly doesn't understand.. Pick sides in this Jessica Alba/ Bill O'Reilly feud if you want. We'll just pray that they have a fistfight that culminates in them both toppling over a cliff-edge onto some jagged rocks.
Jessica Alba’s Guts Airbrushed Off In That Calender
You know the 2009 Campari calender, the one where Jessica Alba pouts and struts like the sexiest little Greek boy alive? You know how your first instinct upon seeing the pictures - after wondering why Will Weaton had done such a sexually ambiguous photoshoot - was to marvel at Jessica Alba's body and swear that if you ever had kids you'd sexily malnourish them too? Well, relax - some before-and-after photos have appeared on the internet, showing that Jessica Alba was so heavily airbrushed for the shots that we suspect the original model was actually an overweight stubbly bloke in his fifties from Dagenham.
You know the 2009 Campari calender, the one where Jessica Alba pouts and struts like the sexiest little Greek boy alive? You know how your first instinct upon seeing the pictures - after wondering why Will Weaton had done such a sexually ambiguous photoshoot - was to marvel at Jessica Alba's body and swear that if you ever had kids you'd sexily malnourish them too? Well, relax - some before-and-after photos have appeared on the internet, showing that Jessica Alba was so heavily airbrushed for the shots that we suspect the original model was actually an overweight stubbly bloke in his fifties from Dagenham.
Jessica Alba Shows Off Her Unusually Hairy Baby
Things we've learnt today, number 14 - Jessica Alba has an unusually dominant hairiness gene. She must have, because Jessica Alba is on the cover of this week's OK! magazine with her new baby daughter Honor Marie and we'll be blowed if Alba Jr doesn't have the fullest head of hair we've ever seen on any single living creature ever. It's astounding. At least, we're assuming that Jessica Alba's daughter has a thick head of hair. For all we know it could be a wig covering up for the time when Honor Marie went out, got drunk and had 'I hated The Love Guru' tattooed across her bald scalp deliberately to try and spite Jessica Alba and sabotage her big-money covershoot. In fact, screw it, let's just say that's what happened anyway.
Things we've learnt today, number 14 - Jessica Alba has an unusually dominant hairiness gene. She must have, because Jessica Alba is on the cover of this week's OK! magazine with her new baby daughter Honor Marie and we'll be blowed if Alba Jr doesn't have the fullest head of hair we've ever seen on any single living creature ever. It's astounding. At least, we're assuming that Jessica Alba's daughter has a thick head of hair. For all we know it could be a wig covering up for the time when Honor Marie went out, got drunk and had 'I hated The Love Guru' tattooed across her bald scalp deliberately to try and spite Jessica Alba and sabotage her big-money covershoot. In fact, screw it, let's just say that's what happened anyway.
Jessica Alba Is Actually Satan
We’re not ones for spreading malicious lies about people, but we have received word that someone living amongst us is demonic and pure evil. Hecklerspray strongly recommends that you get down to your nearest jewellery shop and buy up all the crosses you can buy. Or if you don’t have much cash, go down to your nearest church and see what you can pick up. You see, it could be the end of the world as we know it. For years, Christians have battled against evil and told us that one day Satan will rise up to do battle with us all. This has finally happened as Jessica Alba has unmasked herself as the evil lord of the underworld. And she’s a girl, who’d have thought that? So repent now people! Or just give Jessica a biscuit. That'd probably do it as well.
We’re not ones for spreading malicious lies about people, but we have received word that someone living amongst us is demonic and pure evil. Hecklerspray strongly recommends that you get down to your nearest jewellery shop and buy up all the crosses you can buy. Or if you don’t have much cash, go down to your nearest church and see what you can pick up. You see, it could be the end of the world as we know it. For years, Christians have battled against evil and told us that one day Satan will rise up to do battle with us all. This has finally happened as Jessica Alba has unmasked herself as the evil lord of the underworld. And she’s a girl, who’d have thought that? So repent now people! Or just give Jessica a biscuit. That'd probably do it as well.
Jessica Alba: Pregnancy Made Her All Fat And Gross And Stuff
While she was pregnant, Jessica Alba had quite the sideline in describing every single aspect of the pregnancy in excruciating detail. Luckily, though, the recent birth of Jessica Alba's baby means that all that has come to end. And, in its place, Jessica Alba has started to give retrospective descriptions of her pregnancy in magazine interviews instead. Anyway, we're judging unfairly because actually Jessica Alba is quite entertaining when she looks back on her pregnancy. Especially since the main thing she's concerned about is how fat and bloated and unsexy her unborn daughter made her feel. Great, that means in 20 years we'll be reading magazine interviews with the daughter about how Jessica Alba prenatally destroyed her sense of self worth. Thanks a lot, Alba.
While she was pregnant, Jessica Alba had quite the sideline in describing every single aspect of the pregnancy in excruciating detail. Luckily, though, the recent birth of Jessica Alba's baby means that all that has come to end. And, in its place, Jessica Alba has started to give retrospective descriptions of her pregnancy in magazine interviews instead. Anyway, we're judging unfairly because actually Jessica Alba is quite entertaining when she looks back on her pregnancy. Especially since the main thing she's concerned about is how fat and bloated and unsexy her unborn daughter made her feel. Great, that means in 20 years we'll be reading magazine interviews with the daughter about how Jessica Alba prenatally destroyed her sense of self worth. Thanks a lot, Alba.
