Articles tagged with: Jennifer Lopez
Look, Some Beautiful Old Women!
Celebrities are rebels, we don't need to tell you that. You've seen them, with their breast augmentations and their drugs parties - sticking two fingers up at convention. We're used to their madness. Or, at least, we were used to their madness. This summer has unleashed a whole new crop of famous rebels, collectively known as 'the women who refuse to get ugly'. Most of them have burst into their 40s or thereabouts daring to still be completely sexually attractive. Unheard of in years gone by. But there they are, with their "bikini bodies" - which, by the way, are much more palatable and less revolting than your standard "evening gown bodies" - refusing to go away quietly and slowly lose their looks, before surfacing as a freedom fighter, in the manner of hideous old women like Joanna Lumley and Bridget Bardot. Here are the four most appalling offenders...
Celebrities are rebels, we don't need to tell you that. You've seen them, with their breast augmentations and their drugs parties - sticking two fingers up at convention. We're used to their madness. Or, at least, we were used to their madness. This summer has unleashed a whole new crop of famous rebels, collectively known as 'the women who refuse to get ugly'. Most of them have burst into their 40s or thereabouts daring to still be completely sexually attractive. Unheard of in years gone by. But there they are, with their "bikini bodies" - which, by the way, are much more palatable and less revolting than your standard "evening gown bodies" - refusing to go away quietly and slowly lose their looks, before surfacing as a freedom fighter, in the manner of hideous old women like Joanna Lumley and Bridget Bardot. Here are the four most appalling offenders...
Famous Beauties Who Like Their Men UGLY!
Ever since gorgeous Marilyn Monroe stepped out with George-Formby lookalike Joe DiMaggio, a handful of famous stunners have continued the trend of unveiling their new boyfriends to the sound of a thousand showbusiness journalists dry puking whilst attempting to write short hand. Surely the rules dictate that great looking people should stick to their own kind, not dabble in the swamp waters of the ugly pool? Not so, say these five beautiful rebels...
Ever since gorgeous Marilyn Monroe stepped out with George-Formby lookalike Joe DiMaggio, a handful of famous stunners have continued the trend of unveiling their new boyfriends to the sound of a thousand showbusiness journalists dry puking whilst attempting to write short hand. Surely the rules dictate that great looking people should stick to their own kind, not dabble in the swamp waters of the ugly pool? Not so, say these five beautiful rebels...
Marc Anthony Buys A Dolphin, Or Some Dolphins, Or Part Of A Dolphin
Marc Anthony probably gets sick of only being known as Jennifer Lopez's husband, so he's branched out. He's his own man now. His own man with his own stake in the Miami Dolphins, which is like a basketball team or something. Being a part-owner in a gigantic sport franchise like the Miami Dolphins will allow Marc Anthony to come out of Jennifer Lopez's shadow. It'll let him be his own man. It'll allow the world to see that he's not just a henpecked, put-upon husband to a frighteningly dominant woman. Marc Anthony announced the news yesterday with Jennifer Lopez. Naturally.
Marc Anthony probably gets sick of only being known as Jennifer Lopez's husband, so he's branched out. He's his own man now. His own man with his own stake in the Miami Dolphins, which is like a basketball team or something. Being a part-owner in a gigantic sport franchise like the Miami Dolphins will allow Marc Anthony to come out of Jennifer Lopez's shadow. It'll let him be his own man. It'll allow the world to see that he's not just a henpecked, put-upon husband to a frighteningly dominant woman. Marc Anthony announced the news yesterday with Jennifer Lopez. Naturally.
Jennifer Lopez Sings Duet With The Husband She’ll Dump Soon
Yesterday was a beautiful, moving, historic day - Jennifer Lopez totally sang a duet with Marc Anthony! Squeee! You know what that means? That Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony care about Barack Obama enough to perform in Washington on the night of his inauguration? No way! It means that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are deliberately showing the world a sincere display of their love for one another to fight claims that they'll get divorced on Valentine's day. So, OK, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony won't get divorced on Valentine's day. May bank holiday it is, then. Set your watches, kids.
Yesterday was a beautiful, moving, historic day - Jennifer Lopez totally sang a duet with Marc Anthony! Squeee! You know what that means? That Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony care about Barack Obama enough to perform in Washington on the night of his inauguration? No way! It means that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are deliberately showing the world a sincere display of their love for one another to fight claims that they'll get divorced on Valentine's day. So, OK, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony won't get divorced on Valentine's day. May bank holiday it is, then. Set your watches, kids.
Jennifer Lopez’s Nude Back Means She’s Totally Getting Divorced
There's a theory going around saying that the more of Jennifer Lopez's skin you see, the closer she is to a divorce. It's true. It's why everyone is predicting Jennifer Lopez's imminent divorce from Marc Anthony because she turned up to the Golden Globes on Sunday wearing three scraps of gold lame that left her back naked. Obviously the divorce can't be confirmed until we've seen at least one buttock and partial sideboob, but it's enough for now. Plus, you know, Jennifer Lopez wasn't wearing a wedding ring at the Golden Globes either. That probably helps too, in retrospect.
There's a theory going around saying that the more of Jennifer Lopez's skin you see, the closer she is to a divorce. It's true. It's why everyone is predicting Jennifer Lopez's imminent divorce from Marc Anthony because she turned up to the Golden Globes on Sunday wearing three scraps of gold lame that left her back naked. Obviously the divorce can't be confirmed until we've seen at least one buttock and partial sideboob, but it's enough for now. Plus, you know, Jennifer Lopez wasn't wearing a wedding ring at the Golden Globes either. That probably helps too, in retrospect.
Is Jennifer Lopez Headed For Her Trillionth Divorce?
It always looked like Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony made beautiful music together - well, OK, maybe not beautiful music. Alright, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony made horrible music together. And some genuinely terrible films. But at least they looked happy, and that's what's important. Except that they're probably not happy, since they've both been seen without their wedding rings lately, sparking rumours of an impending divorce. Apparently it's all because Jennifer Lopez thinks Marc Anthony is too controlling - plus Marc is furious about that time he got sucked halfway up J-Lo's bumhole when she bent over and created a giant vacuum.
It always looked like Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony made beautiful music together - well, OK, maybe not beautiful music. Alright, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony made horrible music together. And some genuinely terrible films. But at least they looked happy, and that's what's important. Except that they're probably not happy, since they've both been seen without their wedding rings lately, sparking rumours of an impending divorce. Apparently it's all because Jennifer Lopez thinks Marc Anthony is too controlling - plus Marc is furious about that time he got sucked halfway up J-Lo's bumhole when she bent over and created a giant vacuum.
Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Sort Of Get Married Again
If there's one thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's starring in hopeless romantic comedies that are only enjoyed by hairdressers and idiots. But if there's another thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's getting married. Jennifer Lopez loves getting married so much that she'll quite off marry someone completely unsuitable just so she can divorce him and get married to someone else a few months later. However, Jennifer Lopez made quite the schoolboy error when she married Marc Anthony - a man she actually seems to quite like. Because now it looks like they'll never get divorced and Jennifer Lopez won't be able to feed her compulsive marriage addiction. Unless, of course, Jennifer Lopez opted for the methadone of the wedding world instead, and just pointlessly renewed her vows to Marc Anthony instead. So she's done that.
If there's one thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's starring in hopeless romantic comedies that are only enjoyed by hairdressers and idiots. But if there's another thing that Jennifer Lopez loves, it's getting married. Jennifer Lopez loves getting married so much that she'll quite off marry someone completely unsuitable just so she can divorce him and get married to someone else a few months later. However, Jennifer Lopez made quite the schoolboy error when she married Marc Anthony - a man she actually seems to quite like. Because now it looks like they'll never get divorced and Jennifer Lopez won't be able to feed her compulsive marriage addiction. Unless, of course, Jennifer Lopez opted for the methadone of the wedding world instead, and just pointlessly renewed her vows to Marc Anthony instead. So she's done that.
Jennifer Lopez Has Party For Husband, Seems To Want Medal For It
Fresh from riding a bike around Malibu and expecting everyone to be impressed, Jennifer Lopez has thrown a great big party for Marc Anthony's 40th birthday. We know. Marc Anthony is only 40. Weird, isn't it? To look at his wizened old face we'd have thought that he was at least 80, or maybe 75 if he'd led an especially hard life. But no, Marc Anthony is apparently 40 and so Jennifer Lopez got to throw a party for him. We don't know how Jennifer Lopez does it. She's the mother of six-month-old twins, she recently took part in a triathlon and she's also thrown a party for Marc Anthony. How on earth does she manage it all? What's that? Jennifer Lopez is a millionaire who can afford the best nannies, personal fitness trainers and party organisers that money can buy? Oh. We thought it might have been because of her bum or something.
Fresh from riding a bike around Malibu and expecting everyone to be impressed, Jennifer Lopez has thrown a great big party for Marc Anthony's 40th birthday. We know. Marc Anthony is only 40. Weird, isn't it? To look at his wizened old face we'd have thought that he was at least 80, or maybe 75 if he'd led an especially hard life. But no, Marc Anthony is apparently 40 and so Jennifer Lopez got to throw a party for him. We don't know how Jennifer Lopez does it. She's the mother of six-month-old twins, she recently took part in a triathlon and she's also thrown a party for Marc Anthony. How on earth does she manage it all? What's that? Jennifer Lopez is a millionaire who can afford the best nannies, personal fitness trainers and party organisers that money can buy? Oh. We thought it might have been because of her bum or something.
