Articles tagged with: Jennifer Aniston
Quick, get your confetti out - this fling between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer seems to be getting pretty serious. How serious? So serious that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have been seen out together 'laughing at each other's jokes'. What's more, they might have actually kissed in private once. Whatever could be next? Hand-holding? Nonspecific fondling? This madness has to stop! Actually, sod the confetti - it sounds like a wedding's so inevitable here that if we have to fling shredded clumps of our own flesh at the happy couple to celebrate their union that's what we'll do.
All anyone wants for Jennifer Aniston is happiness - a quiet, private happiness that makes her so happy she stops making films. And, fingers crossed, she might have just stumbled onto it. It's been reported that Jennifer Aniston may have found love with squidge-faced bluesman John Mayer after the pair of them were both seen eating in a restaurant with 'their heads close together.' Sounds like love to us. If it's true it's nice to see that Jennifer Aniston has successfully moved on from Brad Pitt once and for all, and has learnt her lesson about getting into relationships with tedious-looking prettyboys by getting into a relationship with a... oh. Never mind.
There was a time when Jennifer Aniston could have had the pick of any man she wanted. And so, naturally, she picked Brad Pitt.
Her TV show Friends was the greatest show of all time, The Rembrandts were the greatest band of all time, her man was without doubt the sexiest man of all time, and she too was the single most desired female in the human race, second only to a feisty young computer simulation called Lara - but what did Jennifer care about her?
Christopher Walken, start running now - it turns out that Jennifer Aniston wants to jump the bones of anyone who starred in Wedding Crashers.
Not content with forging a relationship with Vince Vaughn that lasted almost the exact length of time of The Break-Up's promotional cycle, Jennifer Aniston is now reportedly getting smoochy with Owen Wilson.
Yes, it would appear that Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson are an item. Wow, a suicidal depressive and a woman who give off all signs of not being over the distant collapse of her marriage. Those cosy nights in together must be just scintillating.
Low-key nominees, strike-wrecked scripted banter - honestly, the only thing about the Oscars we were excited about this year was the thought of Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston clawing each other's eyes out in public.
And it didn't pissing happen.
Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston were due to come face to face at an Oscars party for the first time since Brad Pitt ditched one for the other. But Angelina Jolie avoided the clash by doing what we in the trade like to refer to as 'pussying out'. Sad for us, but imagine how Jennifer Aniston feels - she's spent the last month solidly pumping iron to get ready for the encounter. And she never even got to use that fleet of specially-trained winged monkeys, either.
Brad Pitt ditched Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie quite some time ago now, and you'd think that the three of them would be starting to think about bygones.
Not a flipping chance. In fact, if current reports are to be believed, Jennifer Aniston is still quite miserable about the whole shebang and blames Angelina Jolie for ruining her entire life.
Which should make for a fun evening on February 23, because that's when all three of them are going to host a charity event in Beverly Hills together. Let's hope it's a charity auction, because they could make a fortune flogging off the clumps of hair and flesh that Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie will invariably claw off each other about three seconds after clapping eyes on each other.
Nobody talks about The Break-Up any more, mainly for fear that it'll trigger some sort of psychotic post-traumatic stress malarkey and they'll end up with a nosebleed.
But just because The Break-Up was so dire that it makes us want to vomit poo into an elf's face, it doesn't mean that its stars Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston don't get along. In fact, although they spilt up in 2006, Vince Vaughn has told Parade magazine that he's still great friends with Jennifer Aniston.
If this means there's going to be a sequel to The Break-Up any time soon, so help us...
