Jennifer Aniston has recently starred in a dog movie, done a photoshoot with a dog and taken all her clothes off.

That last one’s less relevant, to be fair. But it almost definitely happened. The point is, Jennifer Aniston does a lot of stuff with dogs. Including, apparently, rescuing dogs from certain death after they dart out into Sunset Boulevard without warning.

So yay for Jennifer Aniston. And yay for Angelina Jolie, for when she realises that Jennifer Aniston has got more headlines than her and single-handedly repopulates the world’s Iberian Lynx community directly out of her womb as retaliation.

Make no mistake here – Marley And Me saved Jennifer Aniston’s career. Before that came along, Jennifer was stuck in a cycle of majorly unsuccessful movies, moderately successful movies that were objectively woeful and transparently attention-seeking lesbian TV bitparts.

But Marley And Me changed all that forever. Not only was it a number one movie, but it also allowed Jennifer Aniston to present an Oscar, turn down a number of pornographic offers and appear in magazines that don’t exclusively run pictures of her accompanied by the headline ‘SAD JEN STILL WON’T BRAD GO!’

And because of this, Jennifer Aniston has vowed to be a supporter of the dog community. There’s nothing that Jennifer Aniston won’t do for dogs to show how grateful she is for Marley And Me – she’ll fetch their sticks for them if they’re feeling too tired, she’ll lick their testicles if they’ve got arthritis in their necks and aren’t able to do so themselves, and she’ll definitely stop them from being splattered into strawberry jam underneath the wheels of fast-moving traffic.

In fact she has. At the premiere of must-avoid movie He’s Just Not That Into You, Jennifer Aniston regaled all about the time that she recently stopped a dog from having its head smashed off by a lorry. MSNBC reports:

“It’s a husky … gorgeous,” Aniston said of the dog she found on the streets of Los Angeles last week. But the dog she found wasn’t just casually roaming the streets. Aniston says he was in a life-threatening situation. “A dog darted out in the middle of Sunset. People didn’t seem like they were stopping.” Aniston told Access that she got out of her car and, with the help of another woman, approached the dog.

And it was at that point that Jennifer Aniston realised that the dog would be the closest thing she’d ever get to having a human baby of her own, so she named it Jeremy and enrolled it at California’s finest medical school where it graduated with honours before becoming a very successful cosmetic surgeon.

Or she realised that the dog belonged to a man who cut her hair once and gave it back to him. OK, it was that.

Anyway, if that’s the length that Jennifer Aniston is prepared to go to for Marley And Me, imagine what she’ll do for He’s Just Not That Into You. Hopefully it won’t involve stopping Drew Barrymore from darting out into the middle of a busy road. That’s the sort of intervention that won’t help anyone.

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