Articles tagged with: Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston ‘Sings’ A ‘Song’ To Ellen DeGeneres
Jennifer Aniston has grown tired of promoting her movies with endless barbed attacks on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. So she's moved on. However, Jennifer Aniston isn't one to rest on her laurels, so she's spent months devising an even more effective way to publicise her new movie Love Happens. And it's brilliant. Banging on about her ex-husband all the time might be annoying, you see, but it doesn't actually cause physical pain. But singing a song on TV? Bingo! That's both annoying and excruciating! The video's after the jump. That's not a reminder - more a stark, stark warning.
Jennifer Aniston has grown tired of promoting her movies with endless barbed attacks on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. So she's moved on. However, Jennifer Aniston isn't one to rest on her laurels, so she's spent months devising an even more effective way to publicise her new movie Love Happens. And it's brilliant. Banging on about her ex-husband all the time might be annoying, you see, but it doesn't actually cause physical pain. But singing a song on TV? Bingo! That's both annoying and excruciating! The video's after the jump. That's not a reminder - more a stark, stark warning.
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler: A Couple, Or Something Equally Tedious
Of course Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are a couple. Blind Albanian orphans could have predicted this one. Although, to be fair, that does depend on your definition of the word couple. According to reports, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were seen strolling around hand in hand, but remember that acting is a very tactile profession. Other reports say that they've spent a lot of time in Jennifer Aniston's trailer, but that could mean they were just learning lines. And other reports suggest that Gerard Butler is Jennifer Aniston's newest male co-star, in which case they're DEFINITELY doing it.
Of course Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are a couple. Blind Albanian orphans could have predicted this one. Although, to be fair, that does depend on your definition of the word couple. According to reports, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were seen strolling around hand in hand, but remember that acting is a very tactile profession. Other reports say that they've spent a lot of time in Jennifer Aniston's trailer, but that could mean they were just learning lines. And other reports suggest that Gerard Butler is Jennifer Aniston's newest male co-star, in which case they're DEFINITELY doing it.
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler: In A Film, So They’re Definitely Doing It
There's a reason why Jennifer Aniston is one of the highest-earning actresses in Hollywood. No, not her hair. No. Jennifer Aniston is so well paid is because she gets all the best-looking male co-stars. And why does Jennifer Aniston have the best-looking male co-stars? Because she has sex with them all. Definitely. It's in her contract. "Must have sex with hunky co-star more than once, preferably while dressed as medieval Spaniards" it says. Oh, alright, it doesn't. But everyone thinks that Jennifer Aniston shags her co-stars. And that might explain why Gerard Butler has been looking so insufferably smug lately.
There's a reason why Jennifer Aniston is one of the highest-earning actresses in Hollywood. No, not her hair. No. Jennifer Aniston is so well paid is because she gets all the best-looking male co-stars. And why does Jennifer Aniston have the best-looking male co-stars? Because she has sex with them all. Definitely. It's in her contract. "Must have sex with hunky co-star more than once, preferably while dressed as medieval Spaniards" it says. Oh, alright, it doesn't. But everyone thinks that Jennifer Aniston shags her co-stars. And that might explain why Gerard Butler has been looking so insufferably smug lately.
Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston Now Also Annoyingly Rich
Instead of a penis, Brad Pitt has a magic wand that brings fabulous wealth to anyone who he sticks it in. It's true. It is. OK, in all fairness it probably isn't true. Chances are Brad Pitt does have a penis - but the bit about it making people rich is still true, though. Forbes has just published its list of Hollywood's top-earning actresses, and the top two spots are taken up by Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. We know what you're thinking - where's Juliette Lewis on the list? Look, not even Brad Pitt's magic wand willy is that magic, OK?
Instead of a penis, Brad Pitt has a magic wand that brings fabulous wealth to anyone who he sticks it in. It's true. It is. OK, in all fairness it probably isn't true. Chances are Brad Pitt does have a penis - but the bit about it making people rich is still true, though. Forbes has just published its list of Hollywood's top-earning actresses, and the top two spots are taken up by Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. We know what you're thinking - where's Juliette Lewis on the list? Look, not even Brad Pitt's magic wand willy is that magic, OK?
Jennifer Aniston Tells A Joke (About Herself, Naturally)
Oh thank goodness. We've been waiting for this. Ever since Angelina Jolie was named as the world's most powerful celebrity, we've been waiting. We're referring to Jennifer Aniston's crackpot retort, of course. And, on Friday at the Women In Film Awards, that retort finally came. Dressed in about three square millimetres of tinfoil, Jennifer Aniston hopped up on stage and - get this - told a self-deprecating joke about her love life. Take that, Brangelina! Obviously Jennifer Aniston's appearance and joke may have had little or nothing to do with Angelina Jolie whatsoever. But that'd be less entertaining, so shut up.
Oh thank goodness. We've been waiting for this. Ever since Angelina Jolie was named as the world's most powerful celebrity, we've been waiting. We're referring to Jennifer Aniston's crackpot retort, of course. And, on Friday at the Women In Film Awards, that retort finally came. Dressed in about three square millimetres of tinfoil, Jennifer Aniston hopped up on stage and - get this - told a self-deprecating joke about her love life. Take that, Brangelina! Obviously Jennifer Aniston's appearance and joke may have had little or nothing to do with Angelina Jolie whatsoever. But that'd be less entertaining, so shut up.
Jennifer Aniston: Having It Off With Another Bloke From Her Films?
Jennifer Aniston's co-stars have every right to be scared. Star in a film with Jennifer Aniston and one of two things will happen. Number one - you'll do an Owen Wilson and attempt suicide. Number two - you'll end up getting romantically entangled with her. We honestly couldn't say which one of these sounds worse. Luckily Bradley Cooper didn't have this dilemma - he's reportedly having it away with Jennifer Aniston, possibly right now. In fact, Bradley Cooper is being called Jennifer Aniston's new Brad Pitt - so we're especially looking forward to the moment where he leaves her for someone younger and prettier.
Jennifer Aniston's co-stars have every right to be scared. Star in a film with Jennifer Aniston and one of two things will happen. Number one - you'll do an Owen Wilson and attempt suicide. Number two - you'll end up getting romantically entangled with her. We honestly couldn't say which one of these sounds worse. Luckily Bradley Cooper didn't have this dilemma - he's reportedly having it away with Jennifer Aniston, possibly right now. In fact, Bradley Cooper is being called Jennifer Aniston's new Brad Pitt - so we're especially looking forward to the moment where he leaves her for someone younger and prettier.
The Real Reason Jennifer Aniston Left John Mayer
Guest blog! Amy Grindhouse! Jennifer Aniston found an ingenious reason to break up with John Mayer. Rather than just dump him for being boring, the actress dumped her partner of just over one year because he had a Twitter addiction. Yep. Since he is such a horrid musician and not quite as wealthy as some of his Hollywood peers, John had to settle for free micro-blogging service Twitter, rather than just indulge in online 'adult entertainment' like any other guy. As she was quite disgusted that her partner had spent more time online tweeting with strangers than hanging out with her, Jennifer brought the world's most unconvincing love affair to an abrupt end.
Guest blog! Amy Grindhouse! Jennifer Aniston found an ingenious reason to break up with John Mayer. Rather than just dump him for being boring, the actress dumped her partner of just over one year because he had a Twitter addiction. Yep. Since he is such a horrid musician and not quite as wealthy as some of his Hollywood peers, John had to settle for free micro-blogging service Twitter, rather than just indulge in online 'adult entertainment' like any other guy. As she was quite disgusted that her partner had spent more time online tweeting with strangers than hanging out with her, Jennifer brought the world's most unconvincing love affair to an abrupt end.
Top Four Embarrassing Celebrity Girlfriends
Here, have a guest blog by Josh from Interestment... There was a time, probably in the 1980s and 1990s, when having a celebrity girlfriend would make you the coolest guy in the world. After all, look at famous people – they’re so wealthy, so demure, their hair is so light and feathery. And how about the way they smell! Is that Chanel No 5? Probably, we wouldn’t know, because we’re just rubbish normal people. We wear Lynx. What great days, but unfortunately times have changed, and the lines between famous people and normal people have now completely blurred, meaning that even former pop stars like Kerry Katona can date cab drivers, and all the money in the world can’t possibly help that poor sneery one from Girls Aloud. With that in mind, we thought we’d outline some famous people we wouldn’t go out with, even if they were really really keen on us...
Here, have a guest blog by Josh from Interestment... There was a time, probably in the 1980s and 1990s, when having a celebrity girlfriend would make you the coolest guy in the world. After all, look at famous people – they’re so wealthy, so demure, their hair is so light and feathery. And how about the way they smell! Is that Chanel No 5? Probably, we wouldn’t know, because we’re just rubbish normal people. We wear Lynx. What great days, but unfortunately times have changed, and the lines between famous people and normal people have now completely blurred, meaning that even former pop stars like Kerry Katona can date cab drivers, and all the money in the world can’t possibly help that poor sneery one from Girls Aloud. With that in mind, we thought we’d outline some famous people we wouldn’t go out with, even if they were really really keen on us...
