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Jedward

Jedward Say Something Moronic For A Change

Witless spunk-haired trolls Jedward yesterday confirmed their credentials as unbearable oxygen-thieves by stating that, after hearing of X Factor host Cheryl Cole’s hospitalisation with malaria, “it will be a big funeral”. Ignoring the massively inappropriate nature of the statement, hecklerspray can only imagine what the attendance would be for the wake following the soon-to-be death [...]

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Hot New Trend: Falling Over

by Ralph Sanders

Do you remember when celebrities were primarily perpendicular? They used to walk around like or you and I, or like particularly confused horses. They certainly weren’t known for violently pitching forwards every time they went out in public? Well, thanks to Lady Gaga those days are over, babyface. Cementing her status as the new celebrity [...]

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VIDEO: Edward From Jedward Falls Over

by Matthew Laidlow

T4 On The Beach seems to be a regular fixture for people miming to pop songs to generate a few extra sales, it’s a good way to keep them on their toes. In some cases this doesn’t quite happen, as they are sent tumbling around the stage as thousands of bellowing fans using their undeveloped [...]

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Jedward Release New Single So Summer Can Finally Begin

by Robyn Wilder

Summer just isn’t summer without a few establishing factors. Good weather. The inevitable Katie Price autobiography/perfume. People drinking cider with no apparent shame. Beloved icons of our childhoods dying in tawdry and depressing ways (although that’s been autumn, winter and spring too). But everyone knows summer can’t really start until two black holes of musical [...]

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Jedward Get Another Record Deal, So Don’t Panic

by Matthew Laidlow

Everyone loves the Irish – after all, the inhabitants are loveable knee-high critters who ply you with pots of gold and lucky charms. Yesterday marked St. Patricks day, or to people who aren’t native to the country, Guinness day”. That’s right, novelty hats were a go-go, alongside chunky black vomit. But the good name of [...]

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Jedward Stupidly Allowed To Release A Single

by Matthew Laidlow

Everyone detests having a boil. They’ll randomly appear and cause you a brief bit of pain. As an added bonus to people who scratch and pick at them furiously, you’ll get the chance to see blood and pus fly everywhere. Jedward are like a boil – you think they’ve gone back to where they’ve come [...]

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

Saturday night and Sunday morning. Folded: Star Wars status updates (actually really funny) The hardest man ever (hairy) Cold Stone Creamery (it is very, very easy to understand why there is a weight problem in America) Assassin’s Creed II is out (and very good too apparently. Though who’s got time to play all these games [...]

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