Articles tagged with: Jay-Z
Chris Brown Denies BET Dumping Rumours, So Beleey Dat
If you saw the BET awards this weekend, you'll have noticed that they were a tribute to Michael Jackson. Or, more accurately, a tribute to how brilliant Jamie Foxx wrongly thinks he is. But anyway, if the BET awards were a tribute to Michael Jackson, then surely one performer who'd be itching to perform would be Chris Brown. After all, people call Chris Brown the new Michael Jackson. Or the new Ike Turner. Or the new Sara The Saxophone-Playing Walrus. Whatever. But anyway, Chris Brown didn't show up at the BET awards. Did Jay-Z ban him? Chris Brown says no.
If you saw the BET awards this weekend, you'll have noticed that they were a tribute to Michael Jackson. Or, more accurately, a tribute to how brilliant Jamie Foxx wrongly thinks he is. But anyway, if the BET awards were a tribute to Michael Jackson, then surely one performer who'd be itching to perform would be Chris Brown. After all, people call Chris Brown the new Michael Jackson. Or the new Ike Turner. Or the new Sara The Saxophone-Playing Walrus. Whatever. But anyway, Chris Brown didn't show up at the BET awards. Did Jay-Z ban him? Chris Brown says no.
Beyonce is White, L’Oreal Seems to Think
It must be a great feeling to be Beyonce Knowles-Z - a strong, black, female role model for millions around the world. That is, unless a cosmetics company decide to make you white. Then you kind of fall down on part of that description. It would seem that the make-up behemoths at L'Oreal may just be the types to force this kind of change on the young diva, with claims being made that Beyonce's skin tone has been lightened for a magazine ad. The company dispute these allegations. You know - 'whitening' things up to make them more palatable to the masses. They did it with every other element of black culture - the music, the clothing, the lingo - why not start trying to make black celebrities white too? Okay, so maybe we're going a bit overboard with it - but it's Friday, and hecklerspray has some drinkin' to get done. It's maybe not as bad as that.
It must be a great feeling to be Beyonce Knowles-Z - a strong, black, female role model for millions around the world. That is, unless a cosmetics company decide to make you white. Then you kind of fall down on part of that description. It would seem that the make-up behemoths at L'Oreal may just be the types to force this kind of change on the young diva, with claims being made that Beyonce's skin tone has been lightened for a magazine ad. The company dispute these allegations. You know - 'whitening' things up to make them more palatable to the masses. They did it with every other element of black culture - the music, the clothing, the lingo - why not start trying to make black celebrities white too? Okay, so maybe we're going a bit overboard with it - but it's Friday, and hecklerspray has some drinkin' to get done. It's maybe not as bad as that.
Jay-Z Eats Beyoncé’s Boobies
Aww, a newly-wed couple, isn’t it a wholesome sight to see? They say love will last forever between couples who are destined to be soulmates, or in the case of many UK women, until a footballer's money runs out. Jay-Z and Beyoncé have a problem based on their career choice of being musicians. While they're not locked away in a studio, they are off around the globe touring at various gigs and festivals. It appears that poor Jay-Z is missing his darling wife so much, he's turned into a love-struck puppy. At a recent gig in Nigeria, he asked on his rider for a melon to be split in half and transformed in to a replica of his wife’s boobies. We just have one question: Are Beyoncé’s boobs green, sweet and edible?
Aww, a newly-wed couple, isn’t it a wholesome sight to see? They say love will last forever between couples who are destined to be soulmates, or in the case of many UK women, until a footballer's money runs out. Jay-Z and Beyoncé have a problem based on their career choice of being musicians. While they're not locked away in a studio, they are off around the globe touring at various gigs and festivals. It appears that poor Jay-Z is missing his darling wife so much, he's turned into a love-struck puppy. At a recent gig in Nigeria, he asked on his rider for a melon to be split in half and transformed in to a replica of his wife’s boobies. We just have one question: Are Beyoncé’s boobs green, sweet and edible?
Heckler Festival Guide: Glastonbury, 27th – 29th June
It’s that time of the year again when music lovers gather in a field to celebrate the thing they love: live music.
There are all sorts of festivals to cater for all sorts of musical tastes in all four corners of the world. The main ones kick off at this time of year and hecklerspray is here to tell you all you need to know about each festival, who the essential people are to see and which act to avoid so you can queue up for the overflowing poo-filled portaloos.
Here it comes again, the daddy of the UK festival and the creation of one mad farmer that has spawned hundreds of crap clones - Glastonbury. Known to typically piss it down whenever it's held, this doesn’t stop thousands of people gathering in fields fill of cowshit to enjoy music from all over the world.
Usher Tries Not To Be Unfaithful
Usher, or Raymond when he wears those plaid jackets, is struggling not to bonk everything that moves now he is married and has a baby son to bring up. Poor, rich bastard. Whether you like Usher's music or not, it must be said that the boy can dance; predominantly he dances like a spaz, but he sure can throw some crazy moves together. And it's perhaps these slinky footsteps that have gotten his erect penis into trouble before. His reputation for banging broads like a horny puppy is well known in celebrity land.
Usher, or Raymond when he wears those plaid jackets, is struggling not to bonk everything that moves now he is married and has a baby son to bring up. Poor, rich bastard. Whether you like Usher's music or not, it must be said that the boy can dance; predominantly he dances like a spaz, but he sure can throw some crazy moves together. And it's perhaps these slinky footsteps that have gotten his erect penis into trouble before. His reputation for banging broads like a horny puppy is well known in celebrity land.
Jay-Z & Beyonce Really Married After All, Then
Nobody really knows for sure if Jay-Z and Beyonce got married recently - sure, there may be unquestionable proof that they did, but nobody knows for sure. Admittedly Mary J Blige said that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married, plus they both applied for a marriage license right before the alleged wedding, plus the woman who did the flowers for the wedding said that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married and they've both been seen wearing giant wedding rings, but nobody can really say for sure if they're actually married or not. And, yes, admittedly Jay-Z and Beyonce have also just filed their marriage license and a town clerk has confirmed that they are definitely married, but look inside your heart, people. Is it telling you that Jay-Z and Beyonce are really married? It is? It is? Oh, well in that case they probably are married, then. Carry on.
Nobody really knows for sure if Jay-Z and Beyonce got married recently - sure, there may be unquestionable proof that they did, but nobody knows for sure. Admittedly Mary J Blige said that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married, plus they both applied for a marriage license right before the alleged wedding, plus the woman who did the flowers for the wedding said that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married and they've both been seen wearing giant wedding rings, but nobody can really say for sure if they're actually married or not. And, yes, admittedly Jay-Z and Beyonce have also just filed their marriage license and a town clerk has confirmed that they are definitely married, but look inside your heart, people. Is it telling you that Jay-Z and Beyonce are really married? It is? It is? Oh, well in that case they probably are married, then. Carry on.
It’s Rumour Time: Beyonce Is Pregnant!
Rumour has it that one single sperm out of the millions and millions found in Jay-Z’s roca-jizz has won the race to fertilize Beyonce’s little ovarian egg. According to Actress Archives, Beyonce was recently spotted in NYC with her belly seemingly being pushed out from the inside - a phenomenon synonymous with pregnant women. And fat people. And people with hernias. And people with pillows under their shirt. But, what with the recent out-of-the-blue wedding reports, pregnancy is the most realistic choice and, according to OK! Magazine, a source close to the couple told them: "I've heard from at least two people that Beyonce is pregnant."
Rumour has it that one single sperm out of the millions and millions found in Jay-Z’s roca-jizz has won the race to fertilize Beyonce’s little ovarian egg. According to Actress Archives, Beyonce was recently spotted in NYC with her belly seemingly being pushed out from the inside - a phenomenon synonymous with pregnant women. And fat people. And people with hernias. And people with pillows under their shirt. But, what with the recent out-of-the-blue wedding reports, pregnancy is the most realistic choice and, according to OK! Magazine, a source close to the couple told them: "I've heard from at least two people that Beyonce is pregnant."
Jay-Z & Beyonce Wedding: Finally! The Florist Speaks!
Jay-Z and Beyonce wanted their wedding to be a special, private affair - something they could say was theirs without intrusion from the outside world. So, in retrospect, maybe Jay-Z and Beyonce shouldn't have hired the world's gobbiest florist to decorate their apartment, because that florist - Amy Vongpitaka - has pretty much blabbed off about every single little aspect of their wedding in excruciating detail to a magazine. On and on and on she went, yapping away to nobody in particular about garlands and blooms and blah blah blah. Warning: the following scenes contain endless talk about floristry that some readers might find a bit tedious.
Jay-Z and Beyonce wanted their wedding to be a special, private affair - something they could say was theirs without intrusion from the outside world. So, in retrospect, maybe Jay-Z and Beyonce shouldn't have hired the world's gobbiest florist to decorate their apartment, because that florist - Amy Vongpitaka - has pretty much blabbed off about every single little aspect of their wedding in excruciating detail to a magazine. On and on and on she went, yapping away to nobody in particular about garlands and blooms and blah blah blah. Warning: the following scenes contain endless talk about floristry that some readers might find a bit tedious.
