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jay leno

WEBTHUMP! Wednesday 22 April 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Will Smith doesn’t die enough: fact – Premiere 9 – Guess what Samuel L Jackson‘s TV edit of his famous Snakes On A Plane line is. Guess a million times. You’ll still be wrong – Bestweekever 8 – A bunch of celebrity photos that are odd, to say the least – PopEater 7 [...]

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Jay Leno Bangs On About His Confusing New Show

by Stuart Heritage

If you’re a fan of smug, unfunny comedy but you go to bed quite early, Jay Leno’s new 10pm NBC show must feel like a godsend.

A whole hour of Jay Leno telling reheated 12-year-old Bill Clinton jokes at a time that even allows the elderly to be somewhat nonplussed by it? Brilliant! But what’s the show going to be like?

Well, according to Jay Leno himself, it’ll be just like his old show but with more ‘stunts’. And stunt number one? Seeing how quickly he can send Conan O’Brien into the depths of gibbering impotent psychosis. We imagine.

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What’s Jay Leno’s New Show? Why, It’s Jay Leno’s Old Show

by Stuart Heritage

In May, Jay Leno was due to retire from TV and spend his days droning witlessly about cars and getting chin massages.

But that was never actually going to be the case. There’s such a dearth of middle-aged male millionaires who aren’t as funny as they think they are on TV right now that Jay Leno was never going to stay retired for long.

And now we know what Jay Leno’s next show will be – it’s his old show, basically – on the same network, in the same studio and broadcast 90 minutes earlier so even more people can get contaminated by watch it.

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Hecklerspray Oddities: Jim Carrey As Jay Leno

by C J Davies

The early ’90s, eh?

Who can forget those heady days of Global Hypercolour t-shirts, Monster In My Pocket collectible figurines and Channel 4′s Red Light Zone? Jesus – who on Earth can forget Channel 4′s Red Light Zone? Certainly not anyone who was entering adolescence and had a portable TV set in their room, that’s for sure.

Why are we waffling on about the early ’90s so much? Because that’s where this here clip originates from. It’s the first in a new feature called Hecklerspray Oddities (original working title: Clips That We Quite Like But Couldn’t Really Find Any Other Way Of Linking To Them On The Site), in which we present to you a series of clips that we quite like but couldn’t really find any other way of linking to them on the site.

Enjoy, then, a young Jim Carrey partaking in a spot-on sketch show spoof of The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

The early '90s, eh? Who can forget those heady days of Global Hypercolour t-shirts, Monster In My Pocket collectible figurines and Channel 4's Red Light Zone? Jesus - who on Earth can forget Channel 4's Red Light Zone? Certainly not anyone who was entering adolescence and had a portable TV set in their room, that's for sure. Why are we waffling on about the early '90s so much? Because that's where this here clip originates from. It's the first in a new feature called Hecklerspray Oddities (original working title: Clips That We Quite Like But Couldn't Really Find Any Other Way Of Linking To Them On The Site), in which we present to you a series of clips that we quite like but couldn't really find any other way of linking to them on the site. Enjoy, then, a young Jim Carrey partaking in a spot-on sketch show spoof of The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.
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Jay Leno Sorry For Being An Unfunny Tool

by Stuart Heritage

Jay Leno’s crushing inability to make people laugh has long been well-known but, heavens, he’s surpassed himself this time.

A few nights ago, while interviewing Ryan Phillippe on his show, Jay Leno ditched the usual question/answer format to basically goad Ryan into pulling his ‘gayest face’ until he threatened to walk offstage.

And now Jay Leno has apologised. He’s now come to realise that mocking homosexuals in the 21st century is both outmoded and offensive and has promised that next time Ryan Phillipe comes on his show he’ll only restrict himself to try and make him jump up and down for food in a loincloth like the black people do.

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Jay Leno Won’t Be Going Away Forever Anytime Soon… Sigh

by hecklerspray staff

Do you wonder that there isn’t a huge ‘IDIOT’ stamp on the foreheads of some people?

You know who we mean… the people that think Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t rather horsey looking and own Everybody Loves Raymond box sets and use words like ‘exspecially’ and have read all of the Nicholas Sparks books. Well, these are the same people that think Jay Leno is funny – no, really, apparently there are people out there who think that – and now these people are running big huge media networks and are trying to get Jay Leno to come not be funny for them when his contract expires next year.

Oh, forget the stamp. The closest blunt object will do.

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Jay Leno Wins Joke-Based Lawsuit, Remains Woefully Unfunny

by Stuart Heritage

You should never rip off one of Jay Leno’s jokes – mainly because it’s bound to be so unfunny that you’ll lose your job, be dumped by your girlfriend and end up dying alone on the streets.

But also there’s a chance that Jay Leno will sue you and win. And that’s what’s just happened. Jay Leno has just won a lawsuit against Judy Brown, who published compendiums containing jokes stolen from his routines.

And as a result Judy Brown will have to publish something less funny instead, like… nope, there isn’t any less funny than one of Jay Leno’s jokes.

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Writers Guild Disappointed In Jay Leno, Murder Still Not On The Menu

by Shawn Lindseth

Jay Leno is going about this writers strike all wrong. Here he sits with a rare opportunity to experiment in a writer-free world, and you know what he’s doing? Nothing!

We happen to know for a fact that Leno has been offered the chance to neuter 15 pencil-thin Mexicans on live TV and he didn’t even respond to our email! Well it looks like Jay Leno wants our neighbour across-the-street to keep breeding more Mexican baby basement slaves then, now doesn’t it. You’ve won this round Mr. Johnson, but you can’t enslave a child that isn’t here!

Non existence is the ultimate freedom!

But as much as he is impartial to the enslavement of children and probably their parents in Johnson’s cellar, Jay Leno is un-impartial about the writers strike. He went back to work recently with the blessing of the Writers Guild, and delivered an impeccable monologue. The thing was so good that the Writers Guild thinks he may be using a secret writing staff and now they want to kill him forever.

We wrote that lat bit from scratch. Sweeping and powerful, right? We’re not union.

Jay Leno is going about this writers strike all wrong. Here he sits with a rare opportunity to experiment in a writer-free world, and you know what he's doing? Nothing! We happen to know for a fact that Leno has been offered the chance to neuter 15 pencil-thin Mexicans on live TV and he didn't even respond to our email! Well it looks like Jay Leno wants our neighbour across-the-street to keep breeding more Mexican baby basement slaves then, now doesn't it. You've won this round Mr. Johnson, but you can't enslave a child that isn't here! Non existence is the ultimate freedom! But as much as he is impartial to the enslavement of children and probably their parents in Johnson's cellar, Jay Leno is un-impartial about the writers strike. He went back to work recently with the blessing of the Writers Guild, and delivered an impeccable monologue. The thing was so good that the Writers Guild thinks he may be using a secret writing staff and now they want to kill him forever. We wrote that lat bit from scratch. Sweeping and powerful, right? We're not union.
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