Jason Trawick - HecklerSpray

Let’s Spoil Britney Spears’ Surprise And All Tell Her She’s Getting Engaged Tonight

December 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! This story is so new that even Britney Spears doesn’t know about it and, crucially, it utterly regards to her possible happiness. Or indeed, the sobbing of a rejected beau. You don’t know what we’re talking about do you?

Sorry. We’re excited. Excited to utterly spoil a surprise.

See, tonight, Britney Spears’ boyfriend – Jason Trawick – will get down on one knee and propose to her. He wants to marry her. She might say no! We’ve no idea! He hasn’t asked her yet, but we’ve found out that he plans to and we’re shouting it from the rooftops to ensure that any romance or surprise is shat on.

Britney Spears’s House Is Just A Really Fancy Prison

May 4th, 2011 By Amy Grindhouse

Britney Spears is a prisoner in her own home. Haven’t you heard? The enormous mansions she owns in California and Louisiana are basically ‘prisons’. Really large prisons where the chairs still have padding.

While we go and pick the neighbourhood locks in hopes of being thrown into A Britney Spears Prison of Awesome, you may like to know the latest on the singer. She’s being controlled by the people around her, according to the latest reports out of America.

She’s watched, monitored, followed, and still has to ask to spend her own money. Her calls are screened and she probably has to ask before she wees too. In Touch Magazine in the U.S. alleges that Britney is under a literal lock-down. She has to ask before spending time with other adults. And she basically interacts with no one outside her team.

Britney Spears Gets New Boyfriend, Lets World Down

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Oh Britney Spears, you were doing so well – screaming about your vagina during a concert was a masterstroke.

But now this? This is disgusting. You knew the pattern as well as anyone, Britney Spears – first you scream about your minge, then you run off and get knocked up by the first scummy-looking waster to cross your path even though he looks like he’s probably got public lice.

That’s the natural order of things, Britney Spears. You certainly don’t get a 37-year-old boyfriend who probably wears a suit for a living. So what have you done? Exactly that very thing. Ugh.