Great, American Idol‘s over. We’re thrilled. No more talking about American Idol for another… what’s that?
Simon Cowell‘s ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour was allegedly choked by someone who appears to be a nutbag outside the American Idol studios on Tuesday night, you say? Oh great. Thanks very much. There we were, thinking we were all done with writing about American Idol for 2009, but oh no – Terri Seymour’s stupid throat had to get in the bloody way, didn’t it? Well screw you, Terri Seymour’s idiot windpipe. You’ve ruined everything. EVERYTHING.
Terri Seymour is OK, by the way. We’re not monsters.
