Grab your magic wands and swords – let’s hear it for the hottest fantasy film babes.

In our latest excuse to trawl the internet looking for pictures of sexy women, we have decided to focus our attentions on the strange world of fantasy.

Now, admittedly, this could be misinterpreted as an excuse to scour the net for porn.  Type in the words ‘fantasy film’ or ‘fantasy babes’ into your search engine of choice and you certainly get some interesting responses. But you’ll be delighted to know we stayed professional throughout, kept our greedy eyes off the one ring and stuck rigidly to our magical quest.

After all, this was more ‘dwarf’ than ‘dwarf porn’. However, it did raise an important issue: what exactly is a fantasy movie? Well, it’s actually a very difficult question to answer. We all kind of know what a fantasy film is, but we all add different movies into the equation.

For example: our superhero movies considered fantasy? Would you add horror movies? What about Star Wars? Anyway, to try and help us with our task we looked up several definitions. The best we could come up with was this:

‘Fantasy films are films with fantastic themes, usually involving magic, supernatural events, make-believe creatures, or exotic fantasy worlds. The genre is considered to be distinct from science fiction film and horror film, although the genres do overlap.’

But even this seemed a bit vague. So we decided to come up with our own rules, which basically meant we ditched horror and superhero movies, and let you argue among yourselves over the results.

For example, we decided Star Trek was science fiction, while Star Wars was more fantasy – for no reason whatsoever.

Oh, and no anime or cartoons. These are our rules, OK?

Anyway, enjoy!

25. Cherie Lunghi (Guenevere)
Movie: Excalibur

A must-see film – and not just because Cherie Lunghi and Helen Mirren get undressed.

24. Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts)
Movie: King Kong

Beauty killed the beast, but she at least kept us awake through the first hour and half of the movie.

23. Kira (Olivia Newton-John)
Movie: Xanadu

OK, the boss asked us to put this in. He has a thing for Olivia.

22. Jessica (Jenny Agutter)
Movie: Logan’s Run

You have to love Jenny Agutter. She loses her clothes more times than Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton combined.

21. Princess Lyssa (Lysette Anthony)
Movie: Krull

Krull was a terrible film, but Lysette gave a stand out performance.

20. Winona Ryder (Kim)
Movie: Edward Scissorhands
Everyone’s favourite cleptomaniac.

19. Andromeda (Judi Bowker)
Movie: Clash of the Titans

Did she do anything else?

18. Sorsha (Joanne Whalley)
Movie: Willow

Brit actress was one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood at one point – then she married Val Kilmer. What a Whalley.

17. Carmen Ibanez (Denise Richards)
Movie: Starship Troopers

16. River (Summer Glau)
Movie: Serenity

Whether it’s playing some kind of killing machine in Serenity or as a, err, killing machine in the Terminator series, Summer is a ray of sunshine.

15. Morena Baccarin
Movie: Serenity

One of the most attractive space whores ever.

14. Leeloo (Milla Jovovich)
Movie: The Fifth Element

It’s Milla time!

13. Maj. Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra)
Movie: Doomsday

The sexy British actress was the original Lara Croft model – need we say more?

12. Trinity (Carrie Ann-Moss)
Movie: Matrix trilogy

11. Princess Farah (Jane Seymour)
Movie: Sinbad and the Eye Of The Tiger

Jane Seymour about to get ravaged by a one-eyed monster.

10. Arwen (Liv Tyler)
Movies: Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Pointy ears or not – Liv is stunning.

9. Loana (Raquel Welch)
Movie: One Million Years BC

Welch’s blonde cavewoman certainly gave us the bone.

8. Gail (Rosario Dawson)
Movie: Sin City

Sin in the city with Rosario Dawson? Hell yeah!

6. Padme (Natalie Portman)
Movies: Star Wars prequels

OK, the films were pants, but at least we had something to look at apart from that abortion Jar Jar.

5. Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey)
Movie: 300

She really does rule.

4. Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox)
Movie: Transformers

What a fox.

3. Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher)
Movies: Star Wars trilogy

Gold bikini. Don’t think we need to add anything more.

2. Barbarella (Jane Fonda)
Movie: Barbarella

How good is that pic?

1. Jessica Alba
Movie: Sin City

A clear winner.

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With that in mind, Jane Fonda – the woman last seen smugly screaming about how old she was on an advert for overpriced skin cream – has just agreed to do a Broadway play. We hear she’s going to further that craft like the son of a bitch it is.

The good news is that Jane Fonda has decided to star in 33 Variations, a play about a woman studying a waltz that Beethoven also studied. The bad news is that Jane Fonda isn’t starring in a belated stage adaptation of Barbarella because, what with Equus doing so well, it would have provided a nice overflow play for theatregoers interested in enduring a barrage of stomach-churningly inappropriate nudity.

We’re always hearing about how older actresses have a tough time getting decent roles in movies, and that seems to absolutely be the case with Jane Fonda. He last movie was the dreadful Lindsay Lohan film Georgia Rule last year and, without any new movies on the horizon for her, she’s regressed to the point that all she ever does is grumble about President Bush and swear like an angry docker on daytime TV.

That left Jane Fonda with only two options – firstly she could retire and live a happy life on the money she made from her Jane Fonda’s Workout Presents Fun House Fitness: The Swamp Stomp videos, or secondly she could go and do a play. Any play. Even if it’s a boring detective story where both the victim and perpetrator died almost 200 years ago and the crime was ‘mild fascination’. Variety reports:

Jane Fonda will topline an upcoming Broadway production of “33 Variations,” the latest play written and directed by Moises Kaufman… “Variations” centers on a musicologist (Fonda) investigating Beethoven’s seemingly inexplicable interest in another composer’s second-rate waltz, which inspired him to pen 33 variations on it.

That sounds excellent. No, really, it does. We’ve always wanted to watch a sort of version of Inspector Morse about an old woman studying tiny differences in the time structure of centuries-old pieces of music for hours at a time without any real emotional connection or satisfying conclusion. Yup, Jane Fonda has really done herself proud with this one.

Or maybe we’re writing 33 Variations off too quickly. After all, an elderly person studying something that seemingly has no relevance to their life does sound a little bit like The Da Vinci Code, and look how popular that was.

Bugger, we’ve just given away the ending, haven’t we? Jane Fonda turns out to be Jesus. Or the Mona Lisa. Or bloody Beethoven or something. Oh, we don’t know.

But still, Jane Fonda is mortified that she said 'cunt' live on the Today show, and she's done nothing but sincerely apologise with all her heart for corrupting a planet's moral sensibilities ever since.

OK, that's not strictly true. Jane Fonda hasn't apologised at all for saying 'cunt' on TV. But she has got her rep to apologise. Well, sort of apologise – the jist of the apology is that everyone should should shut up because Jane Fonda didn't invent the word 'cunt' – but, until someone builds some sort of cunt rehab for Jane Fonda to attend, that's probably as good as we'll get. 

There's nothing we like more than a good shitstorm, be it one initiated by a chocolate Christ or a racist bounty hunter or a young girl not wearing a seatbelt once. So we should really stand up and applaud Jane Fonda for her sterling dedication to the cause yesterday.

In case you missed it, Jane Fonda said 'cunt' on live daytime TV yesterday. And it was glorious – like when the Sex Pistols appeared on Bill Grundy, only with a self-absorbed old lady in a powersuit instead of some dirty-looking boys with excessive saliva problems. In fact, it was better than that, because the Sex Pistols said 'fuck' and Jane Fonda said 'cunt'. And cunt beats fuck. Everyone knows that. 

However, in the cold light of day things aren't so rosy. Chances are that the Today show broadcaster NBC is going to get slapped with a gigantic fine because of Jane Fonda's potty mouth. The Today show has already issued an apology for Cuntgate, and now it's Jane Fonda's turn, too.

Except that instead of Jane Fonda apologising, her rep Pat Kingsley did the apologising on Jane's behalf. And 'apology' seems like quite a strong word for what was actually said. The New York Daily News reports:

"She didn't say it to be shocking. She was just quoting the title of her scene in 'The Vagina Monologues,'" said Fonda's flack Pat Kingsley. "She didn't come up with the word." Kingsley said the "Barbarella" actress, who was scheduled to perform the play last night at Madison Square Garden, regretted using the word, insisting "it was a slip. "She certainly meant no disrespect," Kingsley said.

Of course, there's the argument that the word 'cunt' is an integral part of The Vagina Monologues – which Jane Fonda was ostensibly on air to discuss – so it's only natural that the word should crop up. Plus it's in The Canterbury Tales, and if it's good enough for Chaucer, it's probably good enough for the Monster In Law lady.

But, still, we expect that there's still more of this backlash (cuntlash?) to come from the offended majority. However, should Jane Fonda have the balls to ride it out without apologising properly, it could open up a brand new set of career opportunities for her.

And let's face it, that L'Oreal skincare advert that Jane Fonda does would be so much better if it ended with her saying "I'm 68, you fucking shitbags," wouldn't it. Wouldn't it? Hello?

Read more:

Jane Fonda apologizes for off-color slang on 'Today' show – NY Daily News 

Cunt. Jane Fonda just said 'cunt' on live TV.

Jane Fonda, lord bless her, was on the Today show this morning talking about The Vagina Monologues. And instead of saying 'fanny' or 'minge' or 'vagina' or 'tumpsy', Jane Fonda went right out and said 'cunt'. And nobody even noticed for a while. 

Video? Of course we've got video. 

Old people are so much fun. Not just because they complain about everything and sometimes fall over in the street, but because when an old person swears it is the greatest gift that this Earth has to offer. And we're in the middle of a veritable golden age of swearing oldies at the moment.

Not so long ago Diane Keaton said 'fuck' on live TV because she was so overwhelmed by another woman's lips. But that's nothing. Anyone can say 'fuck' on TV and get away with it. But 'cunt'? It takes some real balls to say 'cunt' on live TV. And Jane Fonda is the woman with those balls.

For a woman primarily famous for taking her clothes off in slow motion in space, Jane Fonda has carved out something of a niche for herself as a firebrand. Jane Fonda has shouted about George Bush, she's taken Lindsay Lohan to task for being a bit of a dick and she's mumbled apologetically about a war that happened decades ago.

But that's not what Jane Fonda will be remembered for. No. Jane Fonda will be remembered as the old lady who said 'cunt' live on the Today show. 

Oh, we've kept you in suspense for long enough – here's the Jane Fonda Cuntgate video from the Today show earlier today…

Now, although neither of the other women sitting on the sofa seemed to even bat an eyelid at jane Fonda for saying the worst word in all the world, Today host Meredith Viera quickly scarpered onscreen to be more apologetic than any human has ever been since the dawn of time:

"We were talking about The Vagina Monologues and Jane Fonda inadvertently said a word from the play that you don't say on television. It was a slip and obviously she apologizes, and so do we. We would do nothing to offend the audience. So please accept that apology."

Despite the apology, the Today show looks like it might be in for a heavy fine thanks to Jane Fonda's dirty mouth. However, perhaps some of the heat will be taken away from the incident next week when Dame Judi Dench goes on The View and tells Barbara Walters to 'fucking stick you motherfucking fuckcunt up your nose.'

Read more:

Jane Fonda Shocks Today Show with 'C-Word' – People