Posts tagged as:
What is Kevin Costner famous for? Well, he sang I Will Always Love You and said “back, and to the left” for five hours straight in JFK and… uh… he was in the terrible Waterworld. And that’s about it.
And now, getting the chance to redeem himself from such atrocities, he now being lamer than a horse sanctuary, wimping out of Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’.
Thank god we’ve got Kurt Russell – a real man – to take his place. Whaddaguy!
Samuel L Jackson is, once again, going to be teaming up with Quentin Tarantino. It has been confirmed and everything. This is fine, fine news.
Jackson’s publicist has told Variety that the actor has signed up for the film Django Unchained.
What’s Django Unchained? We like to think of it as Slave Japes. We also really hope Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a role in it. Let us explain.
When Quentin Tarantino makes a movie, it is always interesting to see who he’ll cast. He plunders old b-movie actors and the like, putting them up against proper A-listers. He also clearly gets aroused over Uma Thurman’s massive feet, but that’s another story.
While we can’t guess where he’ll go for his cult actors, it appears that the big name attached to his new slavesploitation flick, Django Unchained, is the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio who weirdly can’t act and isn’t that good-looking anymore, but still seems to get gigantic roles.
Sadly, one name that has dropped out of the race is Will Smith who isn’t so keen on playing the title role of slave Django. Shame. It would’ve been interesting to see how the two would have worked together, so we guess we’ll just have to wait and see which action movie Smith with gurn in next.
Caddyshack. Of course. Caddyshack. American Idol had its annual Songs From Films Of Cinematic Worth week this week.
And it chose Caddyshack. And by some horrific fluke, Crystal Bowersox – who decided to use this week’s American Idol as an outlet for her Caddyshack theme-tune recital ability – wasn’t instantly voted off American Idol. Instead it was Michael Lynche, who flicked through every iconic, Oscar-winning song from movie history before deciding to just wail out a ditty from Free Willy instead. Yes, Free Willy had songs in it. Who knew?
Michael Lynche has left American Idol. That means that this will no longer be another one of those American Idol seasons that’s won by a big fat black man. No, this season of American Idol is going to break new ground by either being won by a man with girl’s hair or a woman who looks like she’s allergic to soap.
It’s 2010! The start of a brand new year, a time when everything ahead of you is ripe with possibility. How wonderful.
Except it won’t be. We hate to break this to you, but 2010 is going to be crap. Just like 2009 was crap, just like 2008 was crap, just like every stinking year since the stupid year that you weren’t asked to be born was crap.
Why are we so certain that 2010 will be a great big stinking turd of galactic proportions? Glad you asked – we’ve assembled the ten most dreadful, unavoidable handfuls of crap that’ll be flung at you before the year is out. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…
Read More >>>
Guess what happened on American Idol last night. Everyone sang songs. And Adam Lambert sang the best song. Shocking.
Oh, wait. No. We meant massively predictable. But still, even though we all know who’s going to win American Idol but still have to suffer through everyone else lumbering cluelessly through songs they’ve clearly never heard before, at least the judges can mix things up.
During last night’s American Idol Ratpack Night, Paula Abdul told Adam Lambert that he was ‘Michael Phelps‘. Or an ‘eyeball whelk’. Or ‘my heel yelps’. Honestly, who knows what that bloody woman was babbling on about.
When Jamie Foxx said that he wanted Miley Cyrus to catch Chlamydia from a bike, he messed with the wrong dude.
Or the right dude. He messed with Billy Ray Cyrus. And now Billy Ray Cyrus wants blood. “It was hurtful,” he said, before adding “If anyone is going to turn Miley Cyrus into a disease-ridden drug addict it’ll be me and my relentless desire to piggyback vicariously on her wealth and fame regardless of the cost. Not Jamie Foxx. ME!”
Just to clear that up, Billy Ray Cyrus didn’t actually say that last bit. He probably thought it, though.
Jamie Foxx is a comedian. No, really, he is. He’s a comedian. That’s why The Soloist is such a laugh-riot. He’s a comedian.
You know what that means. Sometimes Jamie Foxx has been known to push the boundaries of taste. Maybe he’ll make an off-colour remark here, or embark upon an entire offensive movie career there. And that’s because Jamie Foxx is a comedian. It’s what he does. But there’s a line.
And that line is roughly located right before you suggest that Miley Cyrus should become a lesbian crack addict, if Jamie’s grovelling apology is anything to go by.
