This isn’t down to Avatar’s game-changing adoption of brand new 3D technology, though, or the fact it’s been a decade in the making because most cinemas just haven’t been equipped to screen it until now. No, Avatar is supposed to be a masterpiece because it’s a Michelle Rodriguez film that doesn’t make people want to deliberately hurt themselves.

And now we can see the very first fruits of James Cameron’s Avatar – the Avatar teaser trailer has just been premiered on the internet.

So what does this teaster trailer teach us about Avatar? Well, it’s early days but we think we’re correct in assuming that James Cameron + bleeding edge computer animated motion capture technology + a rumoured production budget of close to $300 million = a MTV2 alternative rock video from 1993. With something that sounds worryingly like a Robson and Jerome soundtrack. This film is going to rule.

UPDATE – OK, there goes our credibility. Turns out this is a fake trailer after all. But the real one had better feature hundreds of library clips of clocks and plants, too, or else we’re going to get punchy.

The bulk of the chatter has been about what Angelina Jolie is keeping in her guts and the festival’s biggest two movies – Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull and Vicky Cristina Barcelona – are only gaining interest because people either like a) watching iconic action stars try to recapture past glories or b) watching Scarlett Johansson get off with Penelope Cruz.

And since Sean Penn is the festival’s jury president this year, everything else is probably going to be a barrage of humourless hand-wringing about starving Albanians. And if the thought of that has put you off, we’ve found a way to enjoy the Cannes Film Festival from home.

Actually, we’ve found two ways of enjoying the Cannes Film Festival from home. The first one is to watch the GMTV Cannes coverage while one of your friends whines in a French accent and resentfully jabs you in the kidneys with a lit cigarette every couple of minutes, and the second one involves Skype.

Because not everyone in the movie industry wants to go to a festival that mostly seems to be about Jack Black dicking around with some pandas, Skype is being used in Cannes’ American Pavilion to facilitate video calls with various absentee entertainment notables during important interviews and panel discussions. According to Julie Sisk, founder and director of the The American Pavilion:

“The film community is increasingly global, and Skype helps make certain that the Festival is as inclusive as possible of that entire community.”

So who’s scheduled to appear in these special Skype video conferences? James Cameron’s rumoured to be making an appearance, and so is Vince Pace, executive producer of that recent Miley Cyrus movie that did so well. Thank you Skype – now it’s possible to irritate grown men by asking them a barrage of questions exclusively about a 15-year-old girl’s naked body no matter where they are in the world.