Articles tagged with: james bond
The Top Twelve Non-Existent Movie Sequels EVER
Everyone loves a sequel, and everyone else loves a remake. After all, why should you have to get to know confusing new characters and unfamiliar situations when what you really want is a temporary lobotomy to shield you from the trials and banalities of actual life? It's far more comforting to see a slightly different version of something you already know about, like the recent TRANSFORMERS 2: HELL YES and STAR TREK: BUT FASTER. With that in mind, I've come up with a list of films for you to watch next summer while you sink into your air conditioned seat, overdosing on Minstrels. I hereby proudly present my Top Twelve Non-Existent Sequels...
Everyone loves a sequel, and everyone else loves a remake. After all, why should you have to get to know confusing new characters and unfamiliar situations when what you really want is a temporary lobotomy to shield you from the trials and banalities of actual life? It's far more comforting to see a slightly different version of something you already know about, like the recent TRANSFORMERS 2: HELL YES and STAR TREK: BUT FASTER. With that in mind, I've come up with a list of films for you to watch next summer while you sink into your air conditioned seat, overdosing on Minstrels. I hereby proudly present my Top Twelve Non-Existent Sequels...
Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is
What’s hot and what’s not. That expression falls into the latter category. Folded: James Bond Sundays (classic Bond movies being shown at sixty cinemas across the UK. That should shake your hangover off) Bizarre ER (the cartoons are funny) Wearing socks (just because it’s been a bit warmer lately doesn’t mean we need to dress like we’re on holiday in the Dordogne) ...
What’s hot and what’s not. That expression falls into the latter category. Folded: James Bond Sundays (classic Bond movies being shown at sixty cinemas across the UK. That should shake your hangover off) Bizarre ER (the cartoons are funny) Wearing socks (just because it’s been a bit warmer lately doesn’t mean we need to dress like we’re on holiday in the Dordogne) ...
WEBTHUMP! Monday 1 June 2009
10 - Ladies and gentlemen, our new favourite website. Hit 'random' and discover why - 5secondfilms 9 - A bunch more reasons to be terrified of caterpillars - Environmentalgraffiti 8 - Bear Grylls and Will Ferrell - a marriage made in... what? They're not married? Fine - YouTube 7 - 20 flat-out amazing TV adverts for different sorts of Star Wars crap - Gunaxin
Daniel Craig & Hugh Jackman In ‘Some Dreary Play About Policemen’
Here's a killer pitch for you. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together. Sounds good, huh? Wait, we're not finished. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together... within the strict confines of the law. And nobody kills anyone. And nothing explodes. And there's probably a lot of crying. And it's not even a film, it's a play. God, we take it all back. This is a rubbish pitch. But it's going to happen. Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman are going to star in that exact play on Broadway. Not James Bond and Wolverine. Sorry.
Here's a killer pitch for you. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together. Sounds good, huh? Wait, we're not finished. James Bond and Wolverine team up to fight crime together... within the strict confines of the law. And nobody kills anyone. And nothing explodes. And there's probably a lot of crying. And it's not even a film, it's a play. God, we take it all back. This is a rubbish pitch. But it's going to happen. Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman are going to star in that exact play on Broadway. Not James Bond and Wolverine. Sorry.
Danny Boyle Asked To Nause Up James Bond Some More
As the Oscar-winning director of Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle can make any film he likes. And he might have chosen a really crappy one. Apparently, Danny Boyle is thinking about directing the next James Bond movie, even though a) the last Bond film was so awful that we wanted to kick our own eyes out about 15 minutes in, b) a monkey could direct a Bond film and c) if you give Danny Boyle millions of dollars, he'll give you back a giant turd. Still, following up an Oscar win with a Bond film didn't hurt Halle Berry's career. Oh.
As the Oscar-winning director of Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle can make any film he likes. And he might have chosen a really crappy one. Apparently, Danny Boyle is thinking about directing the next James Bond movie, even though a) the last Bond film was so awful that we wanted to kick our own eyes out about 15 minutes in, b) a monkey could direct a Bond film and c) if you give Danny Boyle millions of dollars, he'll give you back a giant turd. Still, following up an Oscar win with a Bond film didn't hurt Halle Berry's career. Oh.
WEBTHUMP! Wednesday 14 January 2008
10 - Some Germans once tried to blow up Hitler to prove they weren't all monsters. This video, however, makes the case much more effectively. Remake this, Tom Cruise... 9 - Heartbreaking self-written celebrity Wikipedia pages - Cracked 8 - Snowmobile idiot - I Am Bored 7 - This man is a fool - ...
Diddy Wants To Be James Bond, Despite Nobody Else Wanting That
After being a bit rubbish for a while, James Bond people have finally pulled their finger out of their arses and attempted to make things better. They realised that Pierce Brosnan was only going to turn the films into girly musicals with spontaneous dance routines, so they had to relieve him of duty. Or put a bullet in his brain. Enter Daniel Craig, the moody-looking sod who took over. His turn as Bond made sure that the films were at least semi-watchable. Despite the franchise getting back on its feet after a slight wobble, there is a potential villain waiting in the wings to destroy everything. Diddy wants to be the next James Bond, and no doubt wants to try and kill his enemies by spraying his fragrance in their eyes.
After being a bit rubbish for a while, James Bond people have finally pulled their finger out of their arses and attempted to make things better. They realised that Pierce Brosnan was only going to turn the films into girly musicals with spontaneous dance routines, so they had to relieve him of duty. Or put a bullet in his brain. Enter Daniel Craig, the moody-looking sod who took over. His turn as Bond made sure that the films were at least semi-watchable. Despite the franchise getting back on its feet after a slight wobble, there is a potential villain waiting in the wings to destroy everything. Diddy wants to be the next James Bond, and no doubt wants to try and kill his enemies by spraying his fragrance in their eyes.
There Are 24 Mistakes In Quantum Of Solace, You Know
You know what ruined Quantum Of Solace for us? The way it was so rubbish that it made us want to shatter our cheekbone with a brick. But you know what ruined Quantum Of Solace for other people? All the technical and factual mistakes that were littered throughout the film. In fact, movie mistake spotter Jon Sandys has listed all the mistakes in Quantum Of Solace and emailed them to us. So, after the jump, our favourite of the 24 Quantum Of Solace mistakes. By which we were obviously referring to the 24 individual mistakes that can be found in Quantum Of Solace. Not the one big mistake where everyone working on Quantum Of Solace seemed to think they were making an episode of 24. Although that should be one of them. OK, there are 25 mistakes.
You know what ruined Quantum Of Solace for us? The way it was so rubbish that it made us want to shatter our cheekbone with a brick. But you know what ruined Quantum Of Solace for other people? All the technical and factual mistakes that were littered throughout the film. In fact, movie mistake spotter Jon Sandys has listed all the mistakes in Quantum Of Solace and emailed them to us. So, after the jump, our favourite of the 24 Quantum Of Solace mistakes. By which we were obviously referring to the 24 individual mistakes that can be found in Quantum Of Solace. Not the one big mistake where everyone working on Quantum Of Solace seemed to think they were making an episode of 24. Although that should be one of them. OK, there are 25 mistakes.
