Jamelia, Britain’s forgotten great popstar (okay, great’s a bit much, but she has made a whole bunch of ace tunes*) has opened her mouth and let some controversial words pop out, which is always nice.

She’s said that the police are a bunch of racist sods. Why? Well, you can make your own conclusions from your own experiences in your head… but this time, the singer is referring to the fact that gets a lot of needless attention from them. Almost like she was some kind of superstar. Ahem.

She’s said that, for no reason at all, she is regularly pulled over when she is driving because of the colour of her skin.

Writing on Twitter, hopefully doing a black panther salute, Jamelia said:

“The amount of times I’ve been pulled over for nothing is ridiculous… racism is alive and kicking people. I was not even driving, I was sat in my car parked up.”

“They said to me they have reason to believe my tax disc is counterfeit. When I asked them what this ‘reason’ was, they were stumped.”

Hmmm. Did they check her tyre pressure and the like, to see if it was all legit?

“They checked everything… including my tyre pressure (all legit). They then went on to say they don’t see how this … can be my car!

“They didn’t know I was Jamelia when they approached me, they just saw a black girl in an Adidas tracksuit and cap, in an expensive car.”

Ah! That’s the problem! It’s the squad that the police send out to people who refer to themselves in the third person. Craig David has been suffering from similar harassment also.

Glad that’s all cleared up.

*Need a reminder? Superstar was ace! As was the sleazy Beware of the Dog. See It In The Boy’s Eyes managed to be brilliant despite being written by Chris Martin, and Stop was a fun slice of ’60s-esque pop. Okay? That’s more good songs than The Saturdays will ever do.

Every now and then we like to catch a virus just to mix things up a bit and remind our immune system that it still has a role to play in our continuing existence.

To keep things interesting, given that it is summer; we decided to go with the common cold. As males we know how devastating this can be, with days of unrelenting torment and an extra 15 minutes added to getting up rituals spent futilely pumping enough drugs and various homeopathic remedies into our bodies until we feel we can connect with the outside world.

We decided to hold on to this condition even for the duration of the maiden episode of Charlie Brooker‘s new vehicle which broadcasts tonight on Channel 4. That’s how brave we are.

For the dwindling percentage of you who are unaware of who this burgeoning legend is, we shall spoil you with a quick biography. Charlie began as a writer for PC Zone, the best (and possibly only) PC gaming mag at the time. Via various other endeavours including a website called TVGoHome he ended up as a columnist for The Guardian with a TV review section called Screen Burn.

This and his similarly named BBC4 show Screenwipe sees him scouring the airwaves for poor television and pulling it apart with his incisive and merciless wit. However, unlike us lowlifes, he precludes himself from the “oh it’s easy to criticise but not so easy to do” whiny bollocks because he does actually craft TV programmes too. He co-wrote Nathan Barley with Chris Morris, and was the creator of E4′s Big-Brother-zombie-horror-mini-series Dead Set.

His new show, You Have Been Watching, is somewhat of a departure from the norm for him then as it’s a quiz/panel type show. Not entirely. As the title might suggest, Charlie and his guests watch clips from current television programmes and critique them, and occasionally they might answer questions on them. Charlie provides his trademark polemic voiceovers during the clips which are very much in the style of Screenwipe, so you can rest assured that he hasn’t strayed too far from home.

His guests on tonight’s show are Richard Herring, Jamelia, and Rufus Hound. Funnily enough, the show was originally scheduled to be pre-watershed, but unfortunately the low cut of Jamelia’s top pushed it right back to 10pm. She may strike one as an odd choice for a panel otherwise occupied by comedians, but the girl done good (she did ok).

Tonight’s episode is worth watching for the clips of Deadliest Warrior if nothing else, that and so you can find out what a ‘one show face’ is.

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