Jam - HecklerSpray

Johnny Depp Likes Terrible Blues Jams With Keef As Much As Any Other Plodding Loser [VIDEO]

October 31st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

12 bar blues is a godsend for anyone who can make their way around a fretboard without ever switching their brain on. It enables bloated divs the chance to think that they can show off a little.

LOOK MAW! I DONE LEARNDID THAT GEETAW!

The Rolling Stones’ Keef Richards is a man that’s been hauling his melted ass around the world for nearly 500 years after kneeling at the altar of the blues jam and Johnny Depp has been caught jamming with the stonesman on video, pissing around with the same tired licks you’ve heard at every lousy two-bit music bar and house party.

Who Wants To See Kim Kardashian’s Awful Leaked Pop Video Complete With Incontinence Pants?

August 31st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember Kim Kardashian releasing a record called ‘Jam (Turn It Up)’? Of course you don’t. No-one bought the thing, apart from a dozen post-modern women who thought it was a sexy document of boiling your own stupid homemade jam which no-one gives two shits about.

The record didn’t bother the charts and quietly sloped away with it’s g-string crying into the night.

And so, the promo clip which was made for it never saw the light of day… until some scamp leaked it online for us all to titter at. Of course, click over the jump and you can see Kimmy writhing around in rubber incontinence knickers while licking her swollen lips. Marvellous.

Princess Diana To Bring Out Her Own Range Of Delicious Jam

July 6th, 2010 By Matthew Laidlow

The Royal Family, God bless each and every one of them.

Just hearing their names makes us want to slip into our Union Jack underpants and stand proudly with our flags bellowing in the wind. People may accuse The royals of doing bugger all, but we know their game. After all, they are the most high-profile benefit cheats in the country ? literally getting millions for doing nothing.

Occasionally, Prince Charles will mutter something about wanting to be king whilst Prince Philip will break into a semi-xenophobic comment. Tragically, Princess Diana left nothing apart from a charity record, a damaged tunnel in Paris and a child who dresses like a Nazi. Don't go thinking she's dead and buried yet, though – plans are afoot to bring out a delicious line of Princess Diana jams. Why? Well to be honest we're not quite sure, but it's in better taste than a Princess Diana Scalextric.