Looks like Wesley Snipes is going to have to revert to some of the crafty money-making techniques of Sidney Deane to get himself out of this pickle.

The star of the Blade trilogy, as well as Money Train – we’re not forgetting that one, Wesley – has had some… ‘troubles’, should we say, over the last couple of years. Troubles involving taxes. And how he didn’t bother to pay them between 1999 and 2001, apparently. Maybe he assumed his valuable contribution to movies was payment enough?

Regardless, the vampire-hunting, trash-talking basketballer who likes trains with money on them has been ordered by a federal judge to pay back $217,000 to the government, to cover the legal costs incurred in prosecuting him earlier this year.

Hopefully Wes can pull something like The Marksman 2: The Marksman in Space out of the bag to cover those bills. And use the tagline ‘Wesley. Snipes’. If it hasn’t already been done. And if it hasn’t, hecklerspray gets the copyright on that badboy.

Wesley is currently appealing against the decision to imprison him for three years after he misplaced his tax pen, or whatever his incredible defence for not reporting $11 million of income was, but it looks like this charge is set to stick. While it isn’t the hugest fine in the history of the world, it’s certainly another in the line of examples that the once-Simon Phoenix is being used to set. It would also seem that judges hate him.

When you take into account the fact that Wesley’s crime involved money, and how he didn’t pay it to the government when they say he should then – well, you start to understand why they’re being so harsh.

As we all know, money is the most important thing in the world, more so than a roof over our heads, a hot meal or even the air we breathe. Clearly they’re well within their rights to go overboard on all the charges, even forcing Wesley Snipes to pay for the prosecution that worked against him.

Ah well – it’s one of life’s lessons and one that Willie Mays Hayes is sure to have learned his lesson from, even if it does mean he won’t be able to bankroll Passenger 57 2: Passenger 57 in Space. Which is a crying shame.

To make matters worse for the 46-year-old, he could still end up going to jail for three years when the result of his appeal is decided. On the plus side, Snipes does have a lot of experience at fighting and doing excellent roundhouse kicks, so at least he’ll be able to handle his own in the joint, possibly making something of a name for himself.

Another positive of jail could be the gangland chums he’s sure to make on the inside – all of whom would add a great deal of authenticity when playing ‘Generic Baddie 3′ in Demolition Man 2: Demolition Man in Space.

Never let it be said that hecklerspray don’t try and help – we’re looking for positives, trying to cheer the guy up. It’s not like his real friends are much use.