Remember those Evian babies? They skated, danced and clung onto a wire mesh fence like they were performing adults… in nappies? Remember those guys? Well, they’re back – kinda – with a new dance routine, only this time, with adult heads.
Okay, that might sound a bit terrifying, but this isn’t some kind of Fly-style experiment gone wrong.
Rather, the babies are appearing in stop-frame animation and are looking for co-stars. That means you could appear with some gyrating toddlers. That’s right! All your dreams will come true!
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We hate things that mislead or confuse us. Just the other week we decided to dine out at an all you can eat restaurant.
Pay your money and grab a plate, that’s the basic premise. Simple or what? Apparently not in our case. Many hours later, the management asked us to leave as we’d supposedly had too much and were ruining everything for everyone else. We beg to differ.
As far as we can remember, The Jackson 5 was made up of Marlon, Jackie, Tito, Michael and Jermaine. Quite recently, one of the members passed away, thus destroying anything that can kind of be marketed as The Jackson 5. But ballsacks to everyone, because the remaining brothers have decided to knock out a brand new compilation album featuring remixes and unreleased tracks. Holy hell, we hope Joe Jackson isn’t trying to impersonate Michael.
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The name Jackson has shifted meanings quite dramatically over the last few decades.
In the seventies you’d know the Jacksons as that annoying bunch of kids whose songs were more infectious then the Ebola virus, while the eighties and early nineties saw Michael Jackson pull away and gain success on his own.
Sadly MJ knackered things up towards the end of the nineties with “botched surgery†plaguing the Jackson name. Then at the turn of the millennium, things got worse as the tags “dodgy alleged child molesterâ€, “rubber masked mo’ fo’†and “strange reality show contestant†were thrown around.
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We’re positively flabbergasted.
It turns out when you add up the stuff from the lives of all the Jackson Five members, there appears to be an achievement in there somewhere, or something. So, let’s give them a lifetime achievement award, shall we?
Be sure to tune in to the award ceremony for the exciting activity where you have to match up pictures of the group from the past and present. If you’re good enough to score 100% you’ll be awarded one of the last un-repossessed llamas from Neverland Ranch.
Don’t get too excited, though. Nobody’s ever won one.
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