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Jackie Chan

Jackie Chan Survives Death To Make More Awful Films

by Kris Silver on March 31, 2011 3 Comments

Jackie ChanMartial arts legend and screen icon Jackie Chan survived his own death yesterday, proving once again that he is definitely much harder than Ross Kemp.

But that really isn’t saying much.

Jackie Chan became a top trending topic on Twitter worldwide after rumours of his death began to circulate on the micro messaging site. Now, far be it from us to criticise the users of Twitter, but how stupid do you have to be to rely on it as your primary source of news about celebrity deaths? Read More >>>

Weekend Box Office: Jackie Chan Kicks Russell Brand’s Head In

by Stuart Heritage on April 21, 2008 0 Comments

This edition of the weekend box office was supposed to be all about Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the Judd Apatow comedy that stars Russell Brand and some bloke’s todger.

But, oddly enough, Forgetting Sarah Marshall isn’t number one at the US weekend box office this week. That plaudit goes to The Forbidden Kingdom, a movie starring Jackie Chan, Jet Li and the second-weediest kid from the last series of 24.

What does The Forbidden Kingdom‘s weekend box office triumph over Forgetting Sarah Marshall tell us about the state of modern cinema? Is it that audiences still aren’t accustomed to seeing penises in their movies? Is it that the thrill of seeing cinema’s greatest living kung-fu artists in the same movie overpowers everything else? No. It’s that people would rather watch two old men kicking each other than Russell Brand in anything.

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This edition of the weekend box office was supposed to be all about Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the Judd Apatow comedy that stars Russell Brand and some bloke's todger. But, oddly enough, Forgetting Sarah Marshall isn't number one at the US weekend box office this week. That plaudit goes to The Forbidden Kingdom, a movie starring Jackie Chan, Jet Li and the second-weediest kid from the last series of 24. What does The Forbidden Kingdom's weekend box office triumph over Forgetting Sarah Marshall tell us about the state of modern cinema? Is it that audiences still aren't accustomed to seeing penises in their movies? Is it that the thrill of seeing cinema's greatest livingkung-fu artists in the same movie overpowers everything else? No. It's that people would rather watch two old men kicking each other than Russell Brand in anything.

Badvertising: Jackie Chan’s Woolworths Ad

by Stuart Heritage on April 15, 2008 0 Comments

For years, western celebrities have been able to make a quick buck by flying to Asia and making shameful adverts that they hope nobody will ever see.

That’s all a bit one-sided, which is why we should rejoice to the heavens the fact that Asian megastar Jackie Chan has decided to come to England to make his own shameful advert, this time for Woolworths.

Jackie Chan’s taste has always been questionable to say the least – not only does he have a Hasselhoffian collection of sincere pop CDs to his name, but he also thought The Tuxedo was a decent career endeavour. But nothing Jackie Chan has ever done really comes close to the sheer brain-denting craptitude of his Woolworths advert.

The thing we can’t get our heads around is that at no point did Jackie Chan or any of his people decide that the Woolworths ad was a bad idea. Not when Jackie Chan realised that he’d be starring opposite two animal puppets that looked like they were sewn together by a blind, web-fingered sweatshop orphan. Not when he realised the script made zero sense whatsoever. Not even when he realised that he’d be kissing his credibility goodbye in an advert to promote some 70p T-shirts.

It just doesn’t add up, which is why we think one of the following has happened: 1) Jackie Chan has fallen on really, really hard times, 2) That’s actually a copyright-infringing Jackie Chan double in the advert or 3) The CEO of Woolworths has Jackie Chan’s children tied up in a basement somewhere. Whichever one is true, Jackie Chan should be proud that we haven’t lost so much faith in a celebrity so quickly since, well, since ever.

For years, western celebrities have been able to make a quick buck by flying to Asia and making shameful adverts that they hope nobody will ever see. That's all a bit one-sided, which is why we should rejoice to the heavens the fact that Asian megastar Jackie Chan has decided to come to England to make his own shameful advert, this time for Woolworths. Jackie Chan's taste has always been questionable to say the least - not only does he have a Hasselhoffian collection of sincere pop CDs to his name, but he also thought The Tuxedo was a decent career endeavour. But nothing Jackie Chan has ever done really comes close to the sheer brain-denting craptitude of his Woolworths advert. The thing we can't get our heads around is that at no point did Jackie Chan or any of his people decide that the Woolworths ad was a bad idea. Not when Jackie Chan realised that he'd be starring opposite two animal puppets that looked like they were sewn together by a blind, web-fingered sweatshop orphan. Not when he realised the script made zero sense whatsoever. Not even when he realised that he'd be kissing his credibility goodbye in an advert to promote some 70p T-shirts. It just doesn't add up, which is why we think one of the following has happened: 1) Jackie Chan has fallen on really, really hard times, 2) That's actually a copyright-infringing Jackie Chan double in the advert or 3) The CEO of Woolworths has Jackie Chan's children tied up in a basement somewhere. Whichever one is true, Jackie Chan should be proud that we haven't lost so much faith in a celebrity this quickly since, well, since ever.