Look at the evidence. Hillary Clinton is behind in the polls and then – bam! – Jack Nicholson makes an incomprehensible video where some of his nastiest screen characters sort of vaguely say lines of dialogue that might possibly be construed as endorsing her and she wins big in three important states.

And now, just to mop up all the praise that a befuddled-looking Father Jack-esque appearance on a woolly political YouTube video deserves, Jack Nicholson has given an interview all about how he's the world's bestest ever at politics and stuff. 

Say what you like about NAFTA reforms and legislature history, but the race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to become the Democratic presidential candidate is about one thing and one thing only – it's about how many confused old celebrities they can get to endorse them.

Look at this this way – Barack Obama was losing the race until he roped in some of The Grateful Dead to sing a song to a poster of his benevolently smiling face. Suddenly he's winning primaries willy-nilly and making Hillary Clinton look like quite the fool.

And then, on the ropes, Hillary Clinton did the only thing she could – she got Jack Nicholson to make the world's creepiest campaign video. And it was beautiful – a montage of Hillary Clinton being endorsed by the mental guy from The Shining, evil arch-criminal The Joker and the bastard army chap from A Few Good Men, with Jack Nicholson popping up as himself at the end to honk his approval like an alarmingly debauched elderly sealion.

And now that he's exclusively credited with helping Hillary Clinton becoming the next president, Jack Nicholson's gone on a lap of honour, telling MTV exactly why he decided to swoop down from heaven and help Hillary out in her darkest hour:

Well, I'm a longtime Clintonite. I guess that's no secret. I'm not a talking-points guy, Josh. I'm a rolling cannonball. I basically do it on my own… I got a call. They asked me to do something. I explained to [former] President Clinton that I admire a foot soldier but I'm too old to be one. I'm not looking for so-called followers. I'm not that crazy about being interviewed. I don't like the sound of my own voice after 20 minutes. On the other hand, I am Irish. I like being involved in the community. As they say, if you don't educate yourself about the political system you're doomed to be led by inferior people. That's one of my fears.

So it looks like Jack Nicholson is a Hillary Clinton man for life now. It's a shame, because we were rather hoping he'd set himself up as a gun for hire, jetting around the world and inspiring voters with his unique ways. Especially now – we get the feeling that the only thing to make Anwar Ibrahim win the Malaysian elections this week is a shabbily-constructed internet montage of Jack Nicholson in Wolf and Anger Management.

But forget Hillary Clinton and Jack Nicholson – how is Barack Obama going to stage a comeback in time for the next round of primaries? Three words – Sir Jimmy Savile.

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Jack Nicholson Exclusive: Actor Talks About Hillary Clinton, Campaign Ad — 'This Woman Can Do This Job' - MTV 

Well, alright – not the big guns exactly. But at least the elderly, debauched, paunchy guns have been wheeled out. And by that we plainly mean Jack Nicholson. 

Ahead of this week's vital Ohio and Texas primaries, Jack Nicholson has put together a campaign video of him in some of his most famous roles to drum up support for Hillary Clinton. And we're sure Jack's pro-Hillary message will get through to the two or three people who saw it and didn't cack themselves at the sight of the drunk-looking, growling, dishevelled jowl-monster who pops up at the end like the obese ghost of your abusive grandfather.

Hillary Clinton is in serious trouble. Convinced that she'd finish off her rival Barack Obama early, she threw everything she had at Super Tuesday and has since struggled to get a foothold in the running again when that tactic didn't pay off. Worse still, her Tony Soprano impersonation is just awful.

Meanwhile Barack Obama has all the momentum in the Democratic candidacy race. He hasn't just captured the youth vote like few others before him, but he's also captured the smelly old hippy vote as well, creating a deadly pincer-style movement hinged on recreational drug use and a staunch rebellion against tucking shirts into trousers. There's no way that Hillary Clinton can match strategic campaigning power like that. Or is there? 

Tomorrow sees Hillary Clinton's last meaningful throw of the dice, with hugely important primaries in Ohio and Texas. If she loses them to Obama, she'll come under more pressure than ever to withdraw from the race. These are desperate times, and desperate times call for desperate measures, and nothing is more desperate than getting Jack Nicholson to endorse you by cobbling together a YouTube video made up of old films he's been in. The Associated Press reports:

Nicholson, who is backing Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton for president, took his endorsement to the Internet on Saturday with a humorous collection of clips that put his support into the mouths of his most film famous characters. "And now folks, it's time for who do you trust. Hubba, hubba, hubba. Money, money, money," Nicholson, as The Joker, asks his audience in the video titled "Jack and Hill." Then he goes on to make it clear he puts his in Clinton.

This heavy-handed show of political support is a slight departure for Jack Nicholson. Usually Jack Nicholson only speaks in public when young actors suddenly die and it reminds him of when he nearly drove a car off a cliff once, because at all other times he's running round the back of a speedboat trying to slap the arses of girls a third of his age who don't mind that a saggy old man is molesting them because he might buy them a car.

Oh, we've teased you for long enough. Here is is – the Jack Nicholson Hillary Clinton campaign video…

We know, we're just as relieved as you that there weren't any scenes of Jack Nicholson waggling his strap-on cock around. Maybe he's saving that for when semi-humorous viral clips fail and the time for direct threats of dildo-based violence comes. So Wednesday, then.

Still, at least we know now that "there is nothing on this earth sexier than a woman you have to salute in the morning." Which was certainly true of that well-known busty sexpot Margaret Thatcher. Right boys? Boys? Where are you going? Boys?

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Nicholson Films Make Case for Clinton – AP 

But someone who has no time for hindsight is Jack Nicholson. Though it's natural for people close to Heath Ledger to ask themselves if they could have done anything differently to stop his death, Jack Nicholson doesn't have to.

That's because Jack Nicholson says he warned Heath Ledger about taking sleeping pills. And if things are bad enough for Jack Nicholson to warn you about stuff…

Now that enough time has passed since Heath Ledger's death for those who didn't actually know him to get over the shock of the news, all that's left to do is wait to see what killed him and reflect on his work. Or if you're Jack Nicholson, both at once.

Although toxicology reports will clear the mystery up once and for all next week, pneumonia has already been ruled out and banknotes in his apartment apparently tested clean for illegal drugs, so the signs at the moment appear to suggest that Heath Ledger died from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs.

What's more, prescription drugs that Jack Nicholson of all people warned him to be careful with. Jack Nicholson has gone on record to tell the world that he'd previously spoken to Heath Ledger about his use of sleeping pills, as AOL reports:

"Heath's death is tragic news. I warned him about Ambien. I took it once and somebody called me in the middle of the night and I woke up in my car 50 yards from my house. I almost drove off a cliff. I didn't know where I was. Ambien can get you. Not through excessive use, it's just some people react more strongly than others."

Jack Nicholson spoke of these warnings to Heath Ledger at the London premiere of The Bucket List, which co-stars Morgan Freeman. That makes the film uniquely suited to Heath Ledger reflection because not only have Heath Ledger and Nicholson both played The Joker in movies, but Morgan Freeman also co-starred with Heath in the forthcoming The Dark Knight.

So if Jack Nicholson is telling stories about how he tried to get Heath Ledger out of his Drug Hell, what insights did Morgan Freeman have?

"I worked on The Dark Knight, but Heath and I never met, we were never on the same set, so this is as much news to me as it is to anybody and it affects me in the same way." 

OK, that one's probably a little less revelatory to be honest.

Anyway, the question is why Heath Ledger didn't heed Jack Nicholson's warning about the dangers of sleeping pills. We can't understand it – why would anyone not take the advice of a habitually-promiscuous 70-year-old potbellied man whose last major role mainly involved waggling a dildo around? It's a conundrum, that's for sure.

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Jack Nicholson Warned Heath Ledger - AOL