it pays our bills okay?

Have The FCU Discovered That T-Pain Sleeps In A Coffin?!

January 12th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Unsettling news has reached hecklerspray! No, seriously. This is weird. Apparently, T-Pain sleeps in a coffin! A velvet-lined coffin no less! We’re terrified! We’ll never say anything nasty about lovely T-Pain again.

He’ll probably cause us a world of T-Pain. That’s the worst kind of pain there is. Much worse than B-Pain or P-Pain.

And we have the FCU to thank for this discovery as they uncover the strange world of one of hip-pop’s most famous. Not only that, we meet T-Pain’s twin! Yes. It gets creepier by the second! AAARGH!

Diddy & Co Takeover Vegas Like They’re The Rat Pack

December 22nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

This Christmas, you may be pushing the boat out and spoiling yourself something rotten. You may have bought a load of cheeses that you wouldn’t normally buy. You may have got three bottles of drink in an attempt to make cocktails. It is the only time of year you ever buy p?t?.

Feels good doesn’t it?

Well, Sean Diddy Combes lives like that all the time. He can have p?t? whenever he wants. He’s so wealthy that he could mash-up Frosties in p?t? just to see what it’s like. And, because he can, he’s decided to start a new Rat Pack and takeover of Vegas. And there’s a film to accompany it.

Having A Christmas Party? Absolut Will Sort Your Invites!

December 13th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

So, Christmas is upon us. It’s a time of goodwill, presents, stuffing your face and, if you’re us, a constant reminder of how absolutely no-one ever wants to spend any time at all with us. No. We’re not getting used to it.

However, you might be loved by so-called ‘people’.

In that case, chances are you’ll be having some kind of soiree and you’ll be putting out the nibbles, sporting your best clobber, feverishly tidying the house so people think you don’t normally live in a cesspit and pouring drinks while burping up witticisms stolen from other parties you went to that made you jealous. You’ll be needing to invite people, right? Let us help.

Top 10 Songs For Getting You In The Christmas Spirit

December 8th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

Christmas is-a-coming, and the geese are getting fat. Handy really as they’ll probably be eaten soon along with turkeys, vegetables, pudding and of course, lots of mulled wine and the like.

As much as it pains us, we really like Christmas. It’s all about eating, drinking and allowing us the opportunity to crack a smile once a year. Of course, we’ll be sulking after watching an hour of Christmas television, but the idea of Christmas is overwhelmingly brilliant for a period.

And we’re not the only ones getting in the Yuletide spirit! And what better way to get you in the mood than Christmas music which, despite what the shops blurt out, ain’t all bad at all!

Cool Short Films From Sailor Jerry: Hold Fast!

December 7th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

We all dream of doing something cool for a living, right? Becoming a bass-player in a hot band or making ice-sculptures for obscenely wealthy investor balls. Well, some people actually have the nerve to go and do it.

We’re not jealous at all. Nope.

Okay. We’re hugely envious of these people. However, listening to them speak can be rather inspiring, mainly because the cynic in you thinks ‘Hey! Look at this bozo! I could do his job!‘ Well, Sailor Jerry have made a buncha short films looking at people who have enviously great jobs but aren’t idiots with it.

Bruce Willis: Champion Booze Innovator

December 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Bruce Willis. Actor. Man who made being bald cool. Ex of Demi Moore. Singer who was signed to Motown Records (yes, really). Funny and seemingly pretty decent bloke. So what else can he do?

Is there any end to his talents?

Seemingly not as ol’ Willzo is a booze innovator. Basically, you’ve all been tackling your liquor all wrong. You have. You’ve just been drinking it, haven’t you? Straight from the bottle or pouring it into a glass like a big, boring berk. It is time for Bruce Willis to teach you in the ways of alcoholic righteousness.

Travel Through Time And Find The Missing Barrel!

December 1st, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

Oi! You look like a bright spark! You look like a regularly little sleuth who can work tricky puzzles out in the name of gain! A regular little Carmen Sandiego aren’t you?

Unless, of course, you’re more of an Inspector Gadget and continually mess things up, forever to be bailed out by your niece and her dog. Seriously. Have a word with yourself or you’ll end up with Matthew Broderick playing you in a film, and no-one wants that.

No, you’re needed to travel through time. Yes you are. You need to go back to 1780, specifically to Dublin, so you can find the missing barrel. WoooOOOOoOo. YEAH?

Top 10 Retro Cartoons

November 29th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The word retro is often misused. People tend to mean ‘old’, rather than something new, that looks vintage. That’s what retro is. Anyway, we got thinking about retro things and, in particular, cartoons.

That’s because cartoons are the best thing ever, ever, EVER.

Of course, there was a golden age of cartoons with Bugs Bunny, Tom & Jenny, Roadrunner et all, providing us with snappy jokes, immediate punchlines and amazing, hair-raising action! But cartoons didn’t stop being good. In fact, in recent years, some ‘toons have tried to recreate that vintage animation spectacle, capturing the spirit of getting hit in the face with a pan, or better yet, a complete and utter disregard for being remotely realistic. In short, let’s look at the best retro cartoons!

Of Course You’d Like To See P. Diddy Jumping Over An Angry Bull

November 23rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

How smooth do you think you are? Seriously? Think you could slide under a door and woo a lady at the same time? Of course you couldn’t. You’re horrible. Disgusting too. Really, really very grim to look at.

Not like wealthy rap-man and producer Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs. Or Puff Daddy. Or P. Diddy. Or Peddle Diddlo. Or Ponky Coomswith. Or Plendy Dingdong. Or whatever he’s called right now.

No matter what his name is, he’s smoother than the bonnet of a sports car and he’d like to show the world how smooooooth he is by jumping over a bull that’s charging at him.

Top 10 Robot Chicken Skits! Complete With Interactive Trailer!

October 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

If you’ve not caught on to Robot Chicken yet, you’re missing out on one of the finest, nerdiest, most brilliantly crass comedies ever made.

And now the eye-watering [adult swim] show has finally begun an organized assault on UK shores. About time really.

We’ve got the Top 10 sketches from the minds of Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, as well as a splendid interactive trailer for the new series which severs everything in pop-culture, politics and whatever comes between. Click over, watch, disagree!