Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Do you remember when Facebook had groups that you could join, before they introduced the concept of pages that you could, ?like??
Well, back when there were groups, a lot of people used to set up groups with titles such as, ?If 1,000,000 people join this group my wife will let me name our first born child Spider Man.?
Because people are morons.
Master Saint Vitus Dance, Justin Bieber, is actually turning into the brat he always promised to. That’s good, as is means lots of snarky news stories for us. Anyway, Biebz is sniping at a paparazzi that he’s normally keen to court.
While in Israel, Bieber was snapped and pestered by photographers, which left him pounding the keyboard of his phone, whining and bitching on Twitter about it all.
And then he griped some more. And more. And more. And more, leaving the Israeli president not wanting to meet such a jumped-up little moanbag.
Justin Bieber, the pre-pubescent anti-Christ who seems hell bent on making each and every one of our lives miserable by being the most famous person on the planet whilst for merely being a more annoying version of Aaron Carter, appeared to be booed by a crowd of American sports goers.
Maybe the yanks aren't as bad as we all thought.
Bieber was attending a New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden when his face was shown on the big screen. Boos and whistles could be heard from all corners of the stadium as New Yorkers registered their disgust at seeing the annoying little twat.
If Pamela Anderson says something is horrifying, then you’re advised to believe her. Why? Well, here we have a woman who has had sex with some of the ugliest humans alive (Kid Rock, Tommy Lee and Brett Michaels) and worked for a prolonged period with David Hasselhoff.
And so, when she’s not appearing in panto with a bunch of no-marks in Britain, she’s off to Israel to push a political agenda. That sounds sensible doesn’t it? We all know damn well that this part of the country is not the most stable in terms of politics.
Still, at least she’s getting paid loads of money to prance around while she competes in Israel’s version of Dancing with the Stars.
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Israel’s got a lot on its plate right now – what with all this talk of nuking Iran, nuking Syria, nuking Lebanon and the constant need to police the wailing wall for people who are clapping too vigorously. Seriously – it all adds up. The last thing they need right now is multiple eye-witnesses claiming an actual mermaid is haunting their shores.
But that’s what they got anyway.
We’re really thrumming up to the day that the Eurovision Song Contest gets interesting now, so hold onto your hats.
And the Eurovision news is really coming in thick and fast, if the contest’s official website is anything to go by. Why, just yesterday we learnt that the Maltese entry has a side-job as a secretary. This sort of hard-hitting breaking news is enough to leave us giddy, we don’t mind telling you.
So here’s the Eurovision 2009 profiles for Sin?ad Mulvey and Black Daisy from Ireland and Noa and Mira Awad from Israel…
Ha! Eat that, terrorists! It’s 2-0 to Paul McCartney – first for that godawful Freedom song he did and secondly for not getting blown up last night.
Despite the all the threats against his life, Paul McCartney and his 5,000 bodyguards finally played their long-awaited peace concert in Israel last night, with no disruption whatsoever from fanatical snipers or would-be suicide bombers or whatnot. Paul McCartney lives to fight another day!
Of course, Paul McCartney’s masterstroke was to address both sides of the Middle East conflict in their own language right at the start of the concert. First McCartney opened with “Shalom, Tel Aviv, shana tova, ahlan!” giving the crowd the traditional Hebrew greeting ahead of Monday’s Rosh Hashanah celebrations. Then he added “Ramadan kareem” which, as we all know, is Arabic for “Not the face! Not the face!”
Paul McCartney has often fanned the flames of hatred in the Middle East – after all, what is Silly Love Songs if not a vitriolic tirade against Islam?
And because of this, Paul McCartney’s concert tonight in Israel is shrouded with danger. Islamic extremists are apparently so determined to kill Paul McCartney tonight that nobody is taking any chances – which is why 5,000 bodyguards have been hired to surround Paul McCartney at all times during his visit. That’s even more that George Bush needed.
The message of this is clear – although he takes the death threats incredibly seriously, Paul McCartney will not deprive the Israeli people of his music. The other message, of course, is that Paul McCartney’s got so many bouncers around him at the moment that there won’t be anyone working the door of your local nightclub tonight, so you could probably get away with jeans and trainers if you wanted.
Paul McCartney’s concert in Israel next week could be his last – and not because he’ll soil himself getting to the high note in Hey Jude and retire out of shame.
No, instead, the concert in Israel could be Paul McCartney’s last because a gang of Islamic extremists are running around telling everyone that they’re going to kill him if he follows through with his plan to play there.
However, Paul McCartney has shown admirable strength of character by refusing to bow to these religious fanatics. In fact, if anything this death threat has just strengthened Paul McCartney’s resolve – not only will he play the concert in Israel, but he’s even going to turn it into a live album, entitled Paul McCartney Live Behind Six Inches Of Reinforced Plexiglass Inside A Sealed Lead Box Surrounded By Several Bodyguards And At Least A Couple Of Tanks.
How ready are you for some more Eurovision betting odds? Quite ready? Oh, that’s enough.
Although we’re often quite disparaging about the Eurovision Song Contest, it’s impossible to deny the impact that it has on its winners. Like the woman who won it last year. You know who we’re talking about. That woman. The woman with the song. You remember. She’s massive now.
Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Israel, with help from Paddy Power…
