Madonna and Guy Ritchie may well have a stake in one of the most downright evil and low practices we have ever encountered.

Yes, a pub that the couple have an investment in is being investigated for alleged price irregularities with their beer. The Punchbowl, in which the troubled couple have around a 20 pe rcent stake in, is under investigation by Westminster Council after it was claimed that they arbitrarily changed their beer prices for regulars and non-regulars.

There are crimes, there are annoyances, there are drink drivers, racist slurs and tax evaders.

And below them all, inhabiting the worst, lowest, most disgusting plateau of Hades itself are those that willingly fix beer prices. If that’s what Madonna and Guy Ritchie‘s pub has done then… well… we don’t know what to think.

It’s angried up hecklerspray‘s blood, that’s for sure.

We have to keep our mood swings in check though, as the allegations could well prove to be false, or those made by a mad, drunk old man who was refused service for having a crazy beard and mad eyes (a Mel Gibson link could be inserted there, but we aren’t that cheap).

Or it could be a wild claim made by someone from the notoriously cheaper north of Britain, who simply doesn’t understand that it’s every Londoners right to charge extortionate amounts for one measly pint of beer.

Or, of course, it could be someone with a vested interest in creating more stress and friction between Madonna and Guy Ritchie.

What’s A-Rod up to, these days?

Speaking to the Daily Telegraph – one of the worst papers in the country – Brian Richardson said:

“On Monday I paid £3.50 for a pint, now all of a sudden it’s £3.90. I was shocked. I complained to staff. They have got two prices – regulars prices and non-regulars prices. There is no price list on the wall. I don’t mind paying more but it is completely arbitrary. It is not the money, it is the price hike. It is outrageous.”

But what Brian seems to fail to understand is that Madge may well need that extra funding for more kabbalah classes, lectures and mind-control seminars, as well as to help fund the exceptionally expensive divorce lawyer she has consulted.

That 40p increase in price may make all the difference as to whether she’s allowed to keep all of her very, very sexy and not-at-all vomit-inducing leotards or whether Guy gets them in the settlement. He needs something to distract the public from his shocking lack of talent, you see.

Whatever comes of all this though, hecklerspray will simply never be able to get over the fact that Madonna – bastion of all truth, hope and gap-toothedness in the world – and her mockney sidekick Guy Ritchie were even so much as accused of the truly evil practice of irregular beer pricing.

It’s unforgettable.